spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks again to Rich.

i am really angry with those nasty northerners for trivialising a major earthquake in the UK. I am appalled with some of their comments. i was in the thick of it at 08:15 having just taken jessie for his walkies round the block. jessie is too scared to come out of his box since then and i live on my own and don’t know what to do with him. i’ve seen fire engines come up and down the street. i live near a petrol station and at first i thought the terrorists were coming to get me. it’s awful.
ethel, folkstone

I’m sure you’re near the top of the list of terrorist targets, Ethel. Just below “My Neighbour’s Ornamental Cherry Tree” I expect.