spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks to James for everything below.

It would be interesting to do a survey of people in areas that affected both by flash-floods and hosepipe bans. Are people in these areas storing rainwater to water the gardens during drier times, or do they expect someone else to solve their problems for them?

Bob, Aberdeen

Presumably, as a wall of slurry-coloured water cascades towards his house and his less prudent neighbours duck for cover, he strokes his gasping petunias and smiles. Why worry about the thousands of pounds in damage when he can replace his laminate flooring with the pine forest he grew out the back? He’s prepared.