spEak You’re bRanes

I’ve never had this comment published yet but here goes - why should the UK taxpayers support Africans at all? We have an £8 billion hole in our pension funds - the Africans can’t make ends meet? Tough - lets look after our own people first, especially people who have paid all their lives to get a pension then have their houses grabbed if they have to go into a care home. Whilst we’re at it lets stop supporting Scotland, Wales and NI with English taxes

[loyallittleenglander], Bradford, United Kingdom

Peering at the world through a hole in Enid Blyton’s sock.

Africa needs immediate occupation. It (Africa) has proven time and time again that it is unable to govern itself. Unfortunately, western occupation never ends well for African natives - historically speaking. It’s time to let someone else solve this problem.

charity, horsham

We need someone else who’s prepared to selflessly occupy Africa and perform the thankless task of stealing their natural resources. Perhaps Sauron would be willing to have a pop.

What kind of Earth do you want to see evolve.
Organitronic star ship or bleach dark controled mega city world.
If you want somthing done right do it yourself.
With the internet today thers load we could be doing for indiginous culture and the life that surounds it or even should surround it.
We can control population at a local level and work towards a world for all of lifes true ubickhibitiosness and splender and 6.5 billion is just about right for doing it.

Luke Andrew Marsh, Norwich

I reckon if we killed Luke and ate him, we’d all be off our tits for weeks.

Thanks to Joanne for these (on the subject of “Reality TV”). I’d be the first to acknowledge that these are fairly innocuous… but sometimes you can’t let these things pass. It’s ok to laugh at them because they’re posting on HYS. Try not to open the door to any compassion… just point… point and laugh at them. Why? BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPIDER THAN YOU ARE AND IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.

what is enjoyable about it? It is so boring, yes I’d prefer to cut my toenails all night! I sometimes read, sometimes listen to the radio, play music or ring a friend for a chat. I like t.v of a higher quality and don’t like any reality t.v; it irritates.

[ohloobyloo]

Next time I find myself bored by the television I’m going to turn it off and waste my time telling the internet about what I would be doing instead if I wasn’t telling the internet about what I would be doing instead.

If this odious little show didn’t exist, then there wouldn’t be a problem in the first place.
I don’t watch it, but that doesn’t matter, I’m submitted to the plummeting IQ levels in my office when they start yapping on “Did yoooo watch Big bruuvah laaast night?” [...]

Jude Mahoney

It must be terrible for such a bright spark to be “submitted” to such coarse conversation. Perhaps, if you stop using words you don’t understand, you’ll get promoted out of there.

Thanks to Grom for this one.

Translation on home soil is an affront to the indiginous language of this nation.

Learn, or leave.

*[darthturnip]*, Dover, United Kingdom

I reckon I could devote an entire site to these. Problem is they’re only funny the first 3,749 times. This is the 5th one I’ve read… so I still think it’s piss funny.

NO !!! IF the human race ,,going through
global warming ..destruction ..of forest
in many equitorial countrys ,,
Has to put Ivory back on the list then the message has just not got home ..
IT is sad ..that Ivory ..would be bought by
anyone !!!
but to hell with it ..Iceland goes whale hunting ,,so does Japan ,,so whats the problem
most countrys have missed the point ,,
Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned
It is so sad to see ,,speices being taken
out for no good reason ,,
W A Froud, Letchworth HERTS

Is this a transcription? Perhaps you were cycling.. uphill at… the time?
In the rain!!!
Or perhaps you,, … have terrible asthma.

Thanks to Rhys for finding these racists in a debate about whether official forms should be translated into other languages.

Whenever I’ve been to Spain 99% of the locals speak English anyway!. If I go into a shop and they ‘pretend’ not to understand, I simply walk out and go to one that does understand.
Belive me - they ALL understand the colour of money!
Derek Walker, London

That’ll learn them. Word of advice, next time you’re over there, drive on the left. They’re only pretending to drive on the wrong side to annoy you.

When I have done through Slough station and seen signs in other languages it makes me livid!

I do not have problem with immigrants who have skills and make a contribution. However the ‘politically correct’ industry has made the situation totally mad. Pandering to every community is a recipe for disaster in the long run.

NO ENGLISH, NO BENEFITS, NO SERVICES, apart from a one way ticket to where ever you wish to go.
Chris Parker, Bucks

The thought of beautiful Slough being tainted by foreign signs is enough to make ANYBODY livid Chris.

immergrants are getting a free ride in this contry, if we went to another contry and asked for official documents in english, we would be told to go back to england. so i say make them learn our language or return to contry of thier origin

max dore, surrey

Personally, if I was penning an angry rant about “immergrants” poor grasp of English, I’d be tempted to run my hate-burp through a spell-checker before posting it.

Ok, enough of this pussyfooting around. As much as I disliked Alan Johnston’s bias towards the Arab cause, he is a British citizen kidnapped by foreigners and we have a duty to rescue him if at all possible. He’s only being held in Gaza by a bunch of amateurs, so let’s find out where he is and send in the SAS to get him – problem solved.

anon., UK

Woooo!! SAS!!! I watch them all the time on Ultimate Force and really think Ross Kemp could lead a mission like this, no problem. We could fly them in strapped to cruise missiles. Those things are so accurate you can fly them right up a terrorists bumhole without him noticing. Let’s get Ross lubed up and ready to go as soon as possible.

1st. i’l offer my agreement with the need stop co2 emmisions. that’s a given, but why not consider a study of modifacation/control of weather and enviormental factors? we learned to heat the earth, it’d be feasible to control the enviorment , in regions. 5 seperate climate zones? with a gradient of change between each.
nature shows us how complex weather and climate systems are effected by atmospere/land/water masses. i expect that someone will propose enviomental modifacation one day.

johnypaycut, woodstock,ny

Brilliant work Johny. But this is just the beginning… What I need you to do is draw a diagram explaining your plan (you may want to use glitter to show the sun shining, and scrunched up tissue paper for the sea!). Show it you your mum, and if she says it’s ok we can send it to the scientists.

Good luck Johny, and let’s just hope Woodstock doesn’t end up being in the rainy zone!!