spEak You’re bRanes

One from R Jimlad. Found in the HYS about the Heathrow protest.

These protestors have other means of protetsing - like submitting their views to HYS!

Derek Bird, Dunstable, United Kingdom

Or they could stick a post-it note to a handful of cat shit and then launch it into space with a gigantic catapult.

Thanks to Ross for finding this one. The question was “Is foot and mouth under control?”.

Is it ? are we or not ? I am no longer sure of one thing directed towards culmination. If it was true to sing louder and be bold then everyone would not be wild at all. Carry on and know it.
Samuel, Stockport

Man!!! Uphold state of your health medicinal remedy! The lowest prices you wouldn’t come through somewhere. MegaDik Penis Enlarge Pills!!

Thanks to Dave for finding these.

Without western colonial rule there is no hope for peace in Africa, ever, let alone Darfur. And that’s never going to happen. It’s time to simply accept that Africa needs time to evolve before any kind of peace can be considered even a vague possibility. Sorry if that’s “politically incorrect” - it just happens to be true.

AJ, London

Absolutely. If we let them keep their diamonds they’d only use them to try and scratch each other’s Range Rovers.

“Darfur ,,what a mess! if OIL . GAS .or Minerals of value ,,no problem (solved )
The simple ..view is that Darfur is a Thiefdom Old Europe ..1150 AD ,,,Power comes to mind and is not going to solved ..by a bit of talking I do not think so .. When the Goverment appears to be involed in the first place ,,,This was all well known from the start ,,it is that there is nothing for the West .to gain ,,IE control of Wealth ,,none there !!So this little metting will not work ,
A Froud

When it comes to mental illness, the Left can really learn from the Right. If somebody in your family starts behaving oddly, you should lock them in a high tower in the west wing of the house and then tell everyone that they’ve moved to Rhodesia. Do not let them go on the internet.

When HYS posed the complex and confusing question of whether the government have a duty to help Iraqis who have worked with British Forces to settle in the UK, Joe thought long and hard. Then, after a couple of days recuperating in front of “Deal or No Deal” he wrote:

Interpreters ?
No they should not be given asylum! If you want to live here you should have the decency to learn our language!
We should have no need for interpreters, or at least not a lot of interpreters.

Joe Turner, London, United Kingdom

From a chap called Matt. On the subject of “How should child fight videos on the net be policed?”.

English and other citizens of non EU countries followed by Italy they are losing the sens of the reality with the prizes. They are became paranoic. So cut the prizes because this is the EU.Do not lose your marbles please.Cut the prizes. This london it is not olimpic it is a farse with the queens Spice girls and others that do not sing at all. So cut the Prizes.

Maria, London

Cut the prizes. Drop the bass. BOOM.

And a couple more from Céline.

My Salary is not enough to pay my mortgage and have much spare spending money so I have taken a lodger who happens to be of the opposite sex. What protection would I have from my lodger turning nasty claiming to be my partner and demanding 50% of the value of my home?

*Adrian Boliston, Taunton, United Kingdom

Off the top of my head I’d say “your personality” and probably “your face”.

Men with money should learn the leson of Paul Mac when his girl friend was showing of the engagement ring and the reporters asked if there was a prenuptual and he answered that he was too much in love to think like that. I bet he is rueing that decision now, not that I am saying that she is a GOLDDIGER. If the lawyers want to protect someone it should be rich old men from preditory women

*jim maguire, newcastle upon tyne, United Kingdom

It’s about time somebody started looking out for all these wrinkly old millionaires.

Thanks to Céline for this one.

My Girlfriend and I used to live together.
That is until she lost her job.
When she went to the Social security, they informed her that she wasn’t entitled to anything because she had a common law HUSBAND! ME!
Well I issued a common law divorce upon hearing this, her bags were packed and she was up her mums the next day.
Cruel? Unloving? I’m sorry but if I want to marry someone I will ask them, I wont be told by the stinking government. I’ll never get married, I have far too much to lose.

**Dominic Green**, Portsmouth

Your virginity for a start. After all, marriage does traditionally involve you putting your winky into one of those awful harpies at least once.

The eye witnesses talking to the media about people vaulting over the ticket barriers, the witnesses did not know how was chasing how!. The media thirst for information caused the confusion. It is not the policemen fault. It is the fault of the terrorist that setup this situation. I have given my wife instructions that if I am shoot by mistake in a anti-terror incident, please blame the right people ; al-qieda and there both here and abroad.

Everton, Harrow

Wicked. Where do you live exactly?

As has been pointed out numerous times, the police made a mistake, and were as paranoid and on edge as the rest of us living and working in the capital at the time. The one undeniable fact abou8t this case is that if JCdM hadn’t entered and been working in this country illegally, he’d still be alive today. His entire extended family seem to be following the tradition - amazing how many ‘cousins’ have turned up to pay their respects and been given indefinite leave to stay…

Guy, Slough

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, Guy. Perhaps if your parents had known all those years ago that their son would grow up to become a peevish, racist turd they would have just called it quits and moved to opposite ends of the country. We’ll never know but it makes you think, doesn’t it?

Who pays for the UN? & If its me can I have my money back?.
Useless,Toothless & too late. “Stand back sonny boy, that need’s a good coat of lookin’ at”. Or ,hey just, perhaps give them more of their own guns? Better idea. Sell them the guns after the mid east is done with them. Keeeerrrrcccching. Resale. Everyones a winner. Lead poisoning, thats what happened. Oh by the way WE ARE having here to the horizon. Laters.

max, manchester

See what happens when you forget to line your bobble hat with tinfoil?