spEak You're bRanes

A submission from the one and only Domino Cat.

I do not think obesity is solely due to recent eating habits and lack of exercise.
How much thought has been given to the fact that back in the sixties was very difficult to breast feed and, at the same time, growth hormones were used to get bigger calves?
Surely the growth hormones came down the food chaine, got into the human DNA and now some people do not know wha has hit them, when they cannot stop eating.
Rosalia Hatwell, Birmingham, United Kingdom

You’ve certainly hit the nail right in the fanny.

Thanks to Ross for these.

Never mind the “gay (homosexual) rights for a moment.

My greatest concern is for the adoptee, male or female, and at 4/5 or six years of age walking into “Daddy’s” bedroom and seeing Daddy in bed with Daddy.
Is no-one concerned at the effect this would have on a child at such an impressionable age?
Douglas Rolph, Dereham

Man, you’re just SOOOO square Doug. Of course the 5 year old will immediately copy Daddy’s behaviour and start furiously pounding away at his tiny winky and bumming his school chums at playtime. You just have to accept that, in 2007, this is totally OK. OK?

One more comment. How on earth are there 11,000 prisoners from foreign lands in british jails??? Now i know that political correctness has gone totally mad–WHY HAVE THESE PEOPLE NOT BEEN DEPORTED instead of clogging up our system and costing the british taxpayer an absolute fortune. I would love someone to give us all an idea how much it costs to house any prisoner for a week??. My god this makes my blood absolutely boil
Ray dekopite

KEEP BRITAIN’S PRISONS FOR THE BRITISH!

,if they brake the law deport them simple
lorna pope

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE LESS PACKAGING ON TOYS
lorna pope

These new ideas just keep arriving, thick and fast. She barely has time to write them down. Even now, fresh revelations are jostling for position in the maelstrom that is Lorna’s mind.

Should shops do more to reduce packaging?

If 50BN people each produce e.g. a ton a year of rubbish, then that is 50BN ton p.a.
If this is cut by 20%, then it is only 40BN ton p.a. however if the population increase by 30BN then the total waste produced is 64BN tons p.a. and this is still more than before.

Conclusion, even per person deductions can be undermined by population increases.
Logical enough

[UglyJohn]

Sometimes it takes a complete retard to point out the obvious. Thanks John. I’d never looked at it this way before.

In fact, until just now, I was a little worried about calling people like you retards. I was worried about the connotations of that word and wondered if it was entirely appropriate.

Your explanation has made me realise that I should just stick my head back up my arse and stop worrying. Even if I called you a retard 20% less often, the number of people calling you a retard (because you are a retard) will still increase! I may as well just join the ever-expanding crowd. Retard.

Reality Gap.

What we want – Skilled, literate middle-class professionals.

What we will get – Unskilled, semi-literate, labourers.

Another report today says that a significant portion of people on sickness benefit have been there for over 5 years. There is a pool of people who could retain for IT.
How sick can you possibly be before you cannot operate a computer keyboard.
[UglyJohn]

Brilliant idea. You are living proof that just about any cunt can type to some extent.

But why limit it to dull stuff like IT? Flying a modern, computer-controlled passenger jet is pretty much a matter of pressing a few buttons, moving the stick around a bit, and doing what the computer says. A bit of retraining could turn today’s sick into tomorrow’s aviators!

Just been browsing through this angry idiot’s spit-flecked rants. He’s “disgusted” about most things. He’s possibly the most hateful loser I’ve found on HYS so far. Quite a claim to fame.

This is just a small sample. There’s loads more where this came from but I couldn’t include them all because they made me sick up in my mouth. It’s not even very entertaining. It’ll just make you pray for armageddon.

Entering Saudi Arabia, there is a sign that says “Drug dealers get Death” in the arrivals hall. They dont have a drugs problem.

Although I am not in any way in favour of Sharia Law, we could learn a lesson from it. Kill the bloody dealers – problem solved. As for rewarding drug abusers, whatever next ?. Hope all you liberal lefties are happy with the dung heap you have created. Disgusted.
[Bunfighter]

Don’t worry, agreeing with some of the most extreme and barbaric bits of Saudi Arabian law doesn’t make you some kind of muslim! It just makes you a cunt.

“Make it illegal to employ someone who lives more than five miles from the workplace. Then give everyone a bike and get rid of all cars, buses and trains. Problem solved.

Emperor Mongo”

I live in Plymouth, work in Bracknell. 220 odd miles. Previously I worked in Zurich, 800 odd miles (as the crow flies). Bike? Grow up you muppet.

[Bunfighter]

Ah, I see what happened here. You’ve gone and missed the point again because you’re a cock.

In the (unlikely) event that the UK develops a Nuclear Reactor program to replace our current dependance on oil supplies from fundamental Islamic states, we will need a nuclear dustbin for the high grade waste.

Iran sounds as good as anywhere else …
[Bunfighter]

Have you ever wondered why nobody seems to like you very much? It’s because you’re a selfish, hateful prick.

Thanks to Mark Hawkins.

Going to space is like owning an iphone – the only purpose is about boosting one’s ego and the ideal that human race is the most supreme. Fascination about space and the universe is one thing, a good thing in fact. Having to spend a lot of money to travel, even to space, is pure stupidity.
Tan, Kim Mui, California & Singapore

Indeed. It is all about ego boosting and showing that the human race is the most supreme. I overheard some geese talking about it the other day and they were WELL pissed off. It’s worth noting that, despite their obvious embarrassment at not making it into orbit, they did concede that humans are, like, totally supreme. Those feathery fuckers sure know who’s daddy now. Job done I reckon.

Thanks to Vanessa for this one.

Do everyone knew a saying:- Whatever the altitude a sparrow flys, can it be considered as Eagle?. Let us watch the fun being played by Putin, Ahmed and Chavez.
Inteljoe, Toronto Canada

Do you think yourselves are my – etwas or chief of American spirit indigenous? Do you place yourselves to remove your long beard in front of and fire with anzustarren, while you assign your intelligence? I decided to use a computer, to translate this text into German. Then, I probably into French and then finally of return into English do you see translate it, how much fucking direction him makse? SEE YOU?

Someone kindly pointed me in the direction of Lorna Pope, frequent HYS poster and barely literate racist.

they should focus on are own poor families and stop spending on building more hostels for none english, there are to many people coming to live in england and bringing there families, LETS LOOK AFTER ARE OWN, if we went to there country we would not get half of what they get here
lorna pope

Well, you might get a proper education for a start.

Thanks to David for finding this one in the Booker Prize HYS.

Great. The weather’s rubbish, interest rates have gone up and here comes… another depressing book about an Irish family facing hard times. If I was Irish, I’d be fed up of all this type-casting. If the Booker judges were going to give the award to a book like this, they should have given it to Roddie Doyle, as a least he got there first with Angela’s Ashes.

Heather, Stockport, UK

Don’t worry Heather, those Irishes all look the same to me too.