Curtain Twitchers04 Nov 2007 06:28 pm

Will Somebody Think of the Children?

By Nelson

Thanks to Baroness Goblin for introducing me to “Ceri Bethany”. Not only is Ceri ALWAYS thinking of the children, she’s also wearing a look of wide-eyed terror.

Protect our children from….
Bullying paedophiles
fighting murderers
Knives rape
Guns drugs
Traffic alcohol
smoking teenage-pregnancys
under age sex

NOT TOO MUCH TO PROTECT THEN IS THERE!!!
YOU HAVE CHILDREN, THEN YOUR JOB TO PROTECT THEM TO ANY MEANS POSSIBLE!!!
ceri bethany, walsall, United Kingdom

You missed out “Obesity Pokemon” and “Gay Slapping” but on the whole I think your children will thank you for their hysterical panic-stricken childhood, spent cowering behind a reinforced door with a sobbing madwoman.

Let them all come home now, before we have no army left because they’ve all been killed!! Let them spend some time with their family’s and most importantly their children.. Children are forgotten these days in love and respect
ceri bethany, walsall, United Kingdom

Yes that’s right. Children are important. As long as they’re “our” children and not the ones they have in Iraq.

Of course we need doctors on call 24/7.. it’s peace of mind for my children as well
ceri bethany, walsall, United Kingdom

Can’t you just give your kids away to someone half-sane and start collecting pottery frogs instead? You’ll find it much less stressful. When’s the last time you heard of a pottery frog “fighting murderers” or committing “knives rape”?

7 Responses to “Will Somebody Think of the Children?”

  1. on 04 Nov 2007 at 11:45 pm   Graham

    I think ‘curtain twitchers’ is a far better name for your new categoary.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Ceri Bethany doesn’t bother with curtains and just bricks up where the windows should be…

  2. on 05 Nov 2007 at 12:13 am   Nelson

    You’re right. I already called two posts “Curtain Twitchers”. It’s obviously the way to go.

  3. on 05 Nov 2007 at 12:00 pm   Howard

    Knives rape sounds like something from this weird zombie porn film:

    http://www.re-penetrator.com/

  4. on 05 Nov 2007 at 4:24 pm   Simon

    Knives rape sounds like the most horrific crime ever imagined. No wonder she’s scared!

  5. on 06 Nov 2007 at 2:01 am   Gilbert Wham

    My God! There’s finally a cinematic genre tailored just for me!

  6. on 06 Nov 2007 at 8:16 am   Mo

    You have to worry when someone uses more than one exclamation mark!!! It means they’re perpetually breathless!!! IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME???!!!

  7. on 06 Nov 2007 at 1:40 pm   Ian Q. Lavender

    I don’t think children should be bullying paedophiles, what with the name calling and the chanting:

    Roses are red
    The grass is green
    Your last boyfriend
    Was only thirteen

    It sickens me