spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks to snoman for this submission from “The Green Room” debate about moving to a hydrogen economy.

Yes, I belive that Hydrogen is a great alternative but since Hydrogen is so flamable what the heck happens when you crash!!
Callum Lee, Barnsley, UK

Easy. All cars would be equipped with a pressurised canister of petroleum that could be used to extinguish any unruly hydrogen fires.

Hello

Marriage is the biblical way forward, and I think David Camerons new tax system, of encouraging marriage, is a good one.
However, I can understand why people do live together before marriage, as long as they keep the intercourse part of sex out until married, as again that is the Biblical way to be.

I come from a Christian family, where both parents, are so obviously still in love, we had a strong Christian upbringing, and excellent support to this day.

My parents are always there for me, and vise versa.

Homesexuallity is Biblically wrong, God said this for a reason, to protect mankind, this was done for protection purposes.

Miriam

Miriam Potter, Reading

It’s nice to see people resisting their biological urges and keeping themselves pure and innocent until their wedding day. That sort of thing gives God a boner. In fact, I think it’s in Exodus that the Lord says “But a man and a woman shall not lie with each other out of wedlock unless the man works his cock slowly in and out of her butt or unless the woman doth gobble his manhood in her mouth. For I decree that these acts are technically not actual proper sex. It may sound like a bit of a stupid distinction but, believe you me, if you’ve been abstaining since you hit puberty, you’re going to be grateful for the chance to do pretty much anything, even if you end up with a sore arse”.

This disturbing comment was submitted by both Becca and Kat. Should women be doing more exercise? Not if they know what’s good for them.

Women are becoming fatter - maybe there is a deep-rooted reason for this. Too many rapists out there, illegal criminals let out of prison, rape law against women in favour of men, one of the reasons why I put on weight, for protection.
Caroline, UK

Finally, a use for the word “unrapeable”.

Andrew found this on the Daily Mail site. He swears he doesn’t normally read it.

There’s nothing I could add to this one to make it funnier.

Let us hope this is a wake-up call for the U.S. Navy. I’ve thought for a long time that the Chinese would be a big problem one day. When I served in the RN I had a pal who was married I think to a lady from Hong Kong I remember. He was serious when he said we must watchout one day for the Chinese. I think he meant both in a military sense and otherwise. We must be on our guard at all times.
Terence, UK

Would a fat tax work?

ALERT,ALERT.A very sudden outbreak of the “Taxus again virus”
Is set to strike,with the possibility of it starting in Australia.Sources are saying under the guise of the “obesity syndrome”, it could become rampant,the virus will target many of the unwary.The newly set-up STUFF THE TAXUS AGAIN WATCHYOURMONEYDOG is very much on the case,and is closely watching developments.

Ron C, Northwest, United Kingdom

You don’t have the wit to pull this off Ron.

Should Nato members send more troops to Afghanistan?

If it’s to crush the terrorist then yes but any other mission would prove futile!!

Ed Brown, Watford

I have a picture of you writing this on your todo list. You’re using a blue crayon and wearing a frown of concentration. Your tongue is sticking out as you write “Crush… ” (you swap to red crayon) “… terrorists”.

We need to get these ideas to the people in charge. I’ll write them a letter, just in case they don’t read HYS.

Dear Generals of Army,

Nelson

Peter Sym posts regularly on HYS. He is an intellectual (he can spell). He’s spectacularly ill-informed about most stuff. Imagine Oliver Kamm being forced to compress his turgid arsewash into a 500 character limit. “I’m clever. I’m a socialist. I’m rich. I’m in favour of killing people as long as they’re far away and I don’t have to do it”. That sort of thing.

Sometimes a failing workman will blame his tools.

James, Tunbridge Wells

Easy to say in Tunbridge wells. Not quite so fun when your ‘tool’ jams solid in the dust of Afghanistan as the Taliban surge down on you. Have you seen what they do to POW’s…..

[Peter_Sym], Nottingham

Do they jam your tool in the dust? hur hur.

Thanks to Siôn for this one from the debate on whether we should extend the detention period for people with beards.

A jolly good idea. You can’t have terrorists wandering the streets will-nilly. You never know what they might get up to.
James, Sherborne

I saw one of them terrorists buying flowers the other day. Anthrax flowers I expect.

I think James is taking the piss. As usual, I’m worried I might be wrong.

Thanks to Tim for this one.

Terrorists dont abide by our laws, so why should we care how long they are held in custody?
Peter Marton, Middlesbrough, United Kingdom

And we all know what terrorists look like, don’t we Peter? They’re light brown and usually trying to kill James Bond. Can’t miss ‘em.

More breast related news:

Breast milk is a gift from God, as is the womb- God cares for the child both in the womb and after birth. It is sad to see the self-loathing from so many women on HYS about the wonderful gift of delivering and caring for young life that they have been blessed with by God. Breast milk is the best for the child, because it was made by God.

David Thomas, North Wales, United Kingdom

Made by God and injected into your norks while you sleep. If you set an alarm for 4am you might even catch him at it, furtively poking his “magic milk hose” up your nightie.