Delusions of Grandeur and Grief Athletes23 Jan 2008 03:35 pm
By Nelson

Thanks to the Domino Cat.

When light comes to turn lithe subtleties into greatness, we all get bent out of shape. KL is dead and it’s really none of our business. He was working it out and we all went along to get a piece of the action, along with our popcorn and coke, and while we were sitting there pondering the relevance of our own secular sexualities, he was bleeding, banging on the door asking questions that 99% of us are too afraid to ask. And if you were still wondering, it’s not cool to be a gay cowboy anymore.
gbm, london

Good old Heath, banging on the door and asking questions we’re too afraid to ask. Stuff like:
“Are you finished yet? I’ve got turtlehead.”
and
“It’s gone crispy at the end. Is it supposed to look like that?”

23 Responses to “Not Cool”

  1. on 23 Jan 2008 at 3:44 pm Hektor

    He’s obviously been watching repeats of Midnight Caller. He sounds just like Jack Killian.

  2. on 23 Jan 2008 at 4:26 pm Toby

    KL? Do we think that gbm thinks that he was called Keith Ledger?

  3. on 23 Jan 2008 at 4:53 pm Padwick

    I don’t understand any of this.

  4. on 23 Jan 2008 at 4:56 pm Padwick

    Correction.

    I understand most of the words and numbers individually. Yet when I read the passage out loud in the office mt colleagues looked at me waiting for an explanation of the rumblings I repeated. I staying silent until they all go home.

  5. on 23 Jan 2008 at 5:00 pm Padwick

    Oh fucking hell. I made a spelling mistake.

  6. on 23 Jan 2008 at 5:06 pm Nelson

    This is it Paddy. This is where you get to experience the mockery.

    YOU BIG TWAT.

    How do you feel now? TELL US HOW YOU FEEL.

  7. on 23 Jan 2008 at 5:17 pm Padwick

    For the first five minutes I felt as if I got away with it. The people at work had stopped looking at me and my cup was full of coffee.

    Now seventeen minutes later my cup is nearly empty and I’ve realised that people have stopped looking at me so that they can concentrate on sending emails about me.

    Suddenly I’m a “TWAT” called Paddy, but i kind of like the attention I’m getting. So I’m pleased :)

  8. on 23 Jan 2008 at 5:29 pm Nelson

    A lesson to us all.

  9. on 23 Jan 2008 at 5:35 pm Pete

    I would wager my savings that he was wearing a purple, satin turtleneck whilst writing this. Tosser.

  10. on 23 Jan 2008 at 5:46 pm domino

    I like how I’m the domino cat. :)

    *struts*

  11. on 23 Jan 2008 at 6:34 pm vbloke

    well sis, there’s only the one of you

  12. on 23 Jan 2008 at 7:08 pm PapillomaPete

    I knew him, Horace.

  13. on 23 Jan 2008 at 7:15 pm Dave

    for quite a while the only comment on the HYS Keith Ledger thread last night was the very poignant

    Terrible to see his young daughter lose her father. I’ve been looking forward to seeing him in the new Batman movie.

    Mark, Houston, TX

  14. on 23 Jan 2008 at 7:23 pm Dan

    I’m going to have to take my gay cowboy outfit back. Fashion is indeed a fickle mistress.

  15. on 23 Jan 2008 at 10:15 pm Mr Blackett

    Does the fact that the first thought in my head was “I hope he finished filming the new Batman. I was looking forward to it.” make me a cunt?

    Or is it the rest of my evil acts?

  16. on 24 Jan 2008 at 12:49 am annie

    I’m intrigued by the phrase ’secular sexualities’. As distinct from our, er, ‘religious sexualities’?

  17. on 24 Jan 2008 at 4:48 am Rich

    @ Mr Blackett - He finished the new Batman. Don’t worry. I checked.

  18. on 24 Jan 2008 at 7:54 am Dave

    Well we all thought that. I only knew him as “the new joker”, so what else was I gonna think? The difference was, we didn’t log into HYS to tell the world that his death only mattered because he was playing the joker.
    Anyway, today I think real events have put laughing at HYS morons - hilarious as it may be - into perspective. Viva viva Palestina!

  19. on 24 Jan 2008 at 10:40 am MIserableOldSwine

    Oh dear I am going to become unwell through laughing. I am afraid that the first thing I thought when I saw that, er, KL had died was “can’t wait to see what HYS makes of this” followed very swiftly by “can’t wait to see what SYB makes of that”. Neither have disappointed. I especially love the ones that offer an expert medical opinion, PLUS the fact that “I met him and he was a nice guy”, PLUS “my worries about the Batman film”. It’s almost as good as the outpouring of national grief over Princess Diana, only very slightly less funny. Thank you thank you. A classic SYB illustrating HYS at its very finest.

  20. on 28 Jan 2008 at 9:53 pm Periwinkle

    Is it bad form to reply to old threads?No matter,I was always quite upset by Bruce Lee’s deathage (posthumously) ‘cos I was denied more films.Then his bloody son did it ‘n all!!!!
    Still,in a perverse way,Im happy that its just another young prospect that I have unexpectedly lived-longer-than…as well as the Lees,that Phoenix dude,Jesus of Nazareth,that bloke from Little House on the Prairie…no wait,im not that old.And his death was never proved definitively.

  21. on 27 Feb 2008 at 10:04 pm Fizzy Wilber

    Holy Cow. For a moment I though he meant Kuala Lumpur.

  22. on 08 Mar 2008 at 6:28 pm Simon

    “When light comes to turn lithe subtleties into greatness, we all get bent out of shape.”

    That sounds so profound I want to work out what it means. But try as I might, I can’t stop pondering the relevance of my own secular sexuality long enough to give the above quote proper consideration.

  23. on 03 Jun 2008 at 2:01 am GREG COOK

    I only just found this website and it’s not too shabby, it has to be said, but I think the question needs to be asked, ‘Aren’t all cowboy movies gay?’
    I heard that John Wayne loved it up the sphincter. Or it might have been Graham Norton. I get mixed up when I’m pissed.