spEak You're bRanes

Thanks to Jenni. Has Bush’s State of the Union address reassured the US public?

We won’t know if the “surge” worked until the extra troops withdraw. A golden rule of guerilla warfare is that you pull back when the enemy advances and return when he leaves.
Paul Thompson, Reading, Airstrip One

You should go and advise the inept Iraqi resistance. So far they’ve been “exploding” when the enemy advances and “exploding less often” when he leaves.

On the subject of the McDiploma.

ba ba ba buuuurrr, we ain’t lovin it!
[GlobalTemplar], Kingston upon Thames, United Kingdom

You’re a pigeon’s quim. Not a nice, countryside pigeon. One of those fucked up scraggy ones you see in town, with one and a half legs. The ones that look like they’ve spent three days solid out on the piss, lost a fight with a bigger pigeon and then been shat on by a poorly labrador. You’re that kind of pigeon’s fetid stinky quim and a witless bore to boot.

Is the army overloaded?

The armed forces are currently smaller than they have been for several hundered years.

The armed forces overseas commitments are currently larger than they have been for many years.

What do you think?
[UglyJohn]

I think you’re a seagull’s minge.

Derby City General Hospital maternity care is top rate.

Our daughter went there to have both her babies and the care level was fantastic.

The second baby gave three false alarms before she was born so the fourth time that our daughter went in with suspected labour, the doctor decided to seduce her.

Everything was wonderful and very smooth.
Magnificent service
Atom John, Derby

It’s often the best way to get the baby to come out.

McDonalds is one of three companies that have won the right to offer academic qualifications. Is the McDiploma a good idea? *

What a load of rubbish about brain washing children with advertising, its the parents who do that by not caring about their children as well as schools for lack of P E. you can have food but u got to get exercise as well not just sit in front of a tv or computer.
McDonalds training is already regarded as the best in the world and already give diplomas for managent courses so i think its a good ide sure loads of others will jump on the band wagon, tescos etc
right going for a jog!!
Ryan Kelly, Edinburgh

Was just browsing YouTube, looking at robot drummers as it goes. I clicked on one of their “People who gawped at this also gawped at” links and found some woman’s video blog about absolutely nothing at all, together with a load of comments about absolutely nothing at all. Her bang up to date views on gay people are something like “We’re all on the same planet and I don’t think that I have the right to judge… ” (I’m afraid I nodded off at this point so you’ll just have to imagine the gargantuan size of her tolerance gland).

i just wish people would have the same views as u do on gay ppl, reason i say tht is cos ive been beaten on several occasions
markie18m

Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE it’s because you’re gay?

There have been quite a few comments from this site that are worthy of being posted, including a few of mine. So far I’ve resisted the urge, in case I actually vanish up my own arse.

I finally decided to include one (from here), mainly because I’ve been wondering for a while now when this particular sort of twat was going to turn up.

With major Western countries in the grip of a rich, powerful Jewish elite, it is hardly surprising Muslims throughout the world seek to show their teeth. The US, and to a certain extent Britain is disproportionately influenced by a small Jewish segment, intent on fighting their war against Islam through the secular sphere of Western foreign policy. With half the US cabinet comprising four-by-twos and the bulk of the banking and finance industry run by them, is it any wonder we’re propelled towards so much conflict.

Ask yourself one question: how many Muslims in positions of influence or power in the west can I think of?
Dick Head

You people are the fucking worst. Seriously. You pulled your heads out your asses just long enough to work out that the entire media is lying to you, all the time, then you immediately inserted it straight up the ass of the next person you heard saying something vaguely controversial. This is pretty much exactly how people end up in the fucking BNP. If you think perhaps that you can open our eyes by telling us something about Jewish bankers, lizard men, building 7, black flag ops, the Bilderberg group, David cocking Icke, the Da Vinci fucking code or Bert and fucking Ernie then you should tuck your stupid fucking beard back into your shitty subversive t-shirt and fuck right off. RIGHT OFF.

The main reason I hate you so much is because you’re a bit like me. Remember though, I’M BETTER.

If the shoe were on the other foot and the Jews were cornered in the Gaza strip lauching Rockets at the Muslims.

The Muslims would band togeather and drive the Israelis into the sea with no regard to men, woman, children, or the rules of war and you could bet they’d pay little attention to international pressure either.

I think the time is right for Israel to attack the Gaza Palestinians full scale until they agree to live in peace.
Ronald Dubbs, Florida, United States

No, Ron. You should be anally raped (full scale) until you agree to stop having an anus.

Thanks to Alix for this one. There’s been an astonishing amount of terrifying wank written about Heath Ledger’s death and this is one of the few I’ve been sent that are written by men. A good 90% of it seems to have been written by young women who experienced moments of damp-gussetted sexual awakening in front of “10 Things I Hate About You”. They’re now hitting that distressing age when they realise that youthful romance less resembles the Hollywood version than a series of encounters with enthusiastic, amateur gynaecologists, hell-bent on using their mimsy as a mitten.

Such a loss, Mr. Heath Ledger reminded me of a bit when that American Actor River Phoenix passed on..so young. Both had so much ahead for the both of them. I’ve never seen that movie Broken Back Mountain, my favorite Ledger Movies are still The Patriot and The Four Feathers., You may be lost, but you are not forgotten.
-Joe
Joexplorer341, Amman, Jordan

I don’t know why, but I have an image of you at home with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Heath Ledger. You’ve cut two holes for your eyes and a little window that opens in his groin so you can flop your cock and plums through. You spend your evenings stood in front of the mirror, peering through Heath’s eyeholes whilst licking his cardboard back.

Atom John is so unaffected by Heath Ledger’s death that he only posted twice!

This will not affect me at all – another overpaid – over ego’ed actor passes on, apparently by his own hand.

Sad , but not earth shattering.
Atom John, Derby

Never rated him – neither as an actor nor as anything else.
Atom John, Derby

Lucky escape. A debate nearly went past without you managing to let everybody know you don’t have the first fucking clue about anything that happens, ever.