spEak You’re bRanes

From a debate about boys playing with toy guns. Becca sent me these while she was drunk. Thanks Becca.

Of course — after all in America guns are opart of life — and over here they will be soon too — to defend onself agaist the blacks the wogs and the ofer immgrents
Liam byrne, Westminster

What you really need is a machine gun emplacement in the heart of Westminster. You’d have no hope of mowing down thousands of grass-skirted Zulus using a few rifles. Just ask Michael Caine.

It is all relevent to the hunting instinct built into the male, just lets them get on with it, it will be fine. DO NOT immaculate or try to feminise them, this is bad for society.
Chris, Southampton

I’m laughing at you Chris.

A comment from a Telegraph article.

The only reason rape is taken seriously at all is because the victims are ickle fluffy women. Male rape wasn’t even a crime until a few years ago, and do you think a male rape victim gets taken seriously? Women want equality, so there should be equality in the way rape is treated. Is it really as serious as being stabbed or having your head kicked in?
Posted by Jason Slack on January 17, 2008 6:08 PM

Not with a cock like yours, no. You could probably rape people without them even noticing.

+++It is the overcrowded rat syndrome.
Put ten rats in a cage designed for seven and they start behaving erratically and fighting.
The British Isles cannot safely sustain a population of over 55 million people - and it has now over 60million - 5 million more than in 1970.
Trouble has increased logarithmically as a result.

Myfanwy Morgan, Mumbles, Wales, United Kingdom +++

God help us all - the forecast is population of 65million in ten years - your logarythmic progression is scary
Atom John, Derby

It’s the scariest research I’ve read since that stuff about “RDA” on my Weetabix box.

I could devote an entire site to this dullard’s subnormal witterings.

edit: I just realised, I pretty much HAVE devoted my site to his witterings.

A chap called Joe sent me a link to a site that collects stupid comments. It seems to focus on “Christian Fundamentalists”. This one made me laugh until I wet myself. Luckily I have a wipe-clean chair. Emphasis added.

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.
awesomestnerd

It’s inconceivable. Where would we keep this gargantuan energy source??? FLOATING UP IN THE SKY???!!

I have to confess that my mind got slightly bent while I was trying to assimilate the concept of “someone who understands what entropy is but thinks that the sun is just a yellow man in the sky who smiles at us”.

Thanks to Dom. Should Scrabulous be shut down?

PSOTINLSSE
I’m sure I can make a 9 letter word that describes this HYS…
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom

You could entertain people at parties, if ever anyone was desperate enough to invite you to one.

What is it about HYS that attracts these witless shitprawns?

Thanks to Daisy for this one from Times Online.

I think this country is going to get hit hard by viruses such as these more often. Especially with the increasing population of unhygienic immigrants entering this country. This country is at bursting point.
Toby C, London

It’s terribly racist to turn away immigrants simply because they don’t quite meet our Great British standards. They could be very easily civilized if we’d just spend a little time shaving them, sponging them down and then teaching them which cutlery to use.

Thanks to Tom for this one. Pure demented genius.

My wife has a donor card and I would respect her wishes on the subject, it’s her choice. Just as it is my choice not to carry one.

At one time I would have donated my organs, but now there are so many people in this country who mean our society harm I would not like to die thinking that my death might well save the life of some maniac who might well go on to blow my children to pieces on the tube.

Let me list the poeple who I definately don’t want to have my organs first.

Dave Blake

A debate titled “Are mixed marriages still a taboo?” was always going to bring out the tiny people and their shrill fear of everything they don’t understand.

Nature’s law - Like goes with like.
Birds of a feather flock together.

I have refused invitations to mixed marriages - and am proud of my stance.
Atom John, Derby, United Kingdom

I see. I reckon your ideal partner is “a stupid white cunt”.

An old one: “New terror detention limits: your views”.

There’s too much hype, spin and mixed signals at the moment I can’t be certain what to make of it all..!!!! I still go to work and send my kids to school.
Ed Brown, Watford

It IS confusing but I think you’re doing the right thing. We should all carry on having normal meals and going out of the house ‘n’ that until such time as the government tells us we’re DEFINITELY GOING TO EXPLODE.

Peter Sym is a regular twat. As I’ve said before, he’s particularly hilarious because he seems to imagine himself as some sort of “voice of reason”. He quite obviously knows bob-all about anything but is convinced he’s an expert on everything (including war, breastfeeding, cocaine, war, music, climate change, war, the military and war). His world view sounds like it’s based entirely on watching Sky News. Funny to read but I suspect that 5 minutes in his smug and misinformed company would be absolutely fucking unbearable.

There’s a sergeant with the Royal Armoured corp in Basra at the moment who had both legs blown off after stepping on a mine in Bosnia…. he had plastic legs fitted and demanded to be returned to duty. Douglas Bader was one of the most succesful pilots of the battle of Britain with two tin legs.

A hell of a lot of the 2.7M ’sick’ should hang their heads in shame. One eye, one ear and one hand is all you need to work in a call centre.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham

Good point. We should also get all them Parkinsons lot working in cocktail bars where all you need is one or two shaky hands.

There is no contradiction between being fit and having a good figure, on the contrary, fitness produces firmness!
Martin Smith, London

Is firmness good? Paula Radcliffe is one of the fittest (and firmest) women on Earth, but she’s got no curves at all.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham

See? He’s SUCH a twat. “one of the fittest (and firmest) women on Earth” - Genius.

[... ]Which would be a valid argument if Iraq was the justification for these attacks. It wasn’t. The group issued a statement saying it was vengance for Spanish actions against Moorish Grenada in the 13th century. In effect punishing Spain for invading Spain.

THAT is the mentality of these people. Vengance 700 years after the event.
[Peter_Sym], Nottingham

Bless.

I just issued a statement claiming responsibility for the floods this summer. It was part of my campaign to bring back “Pacers”, my favourite chewy mint of the 80s.