The Regular Twats20 Feb 2008 11:42 am

Wanted: Cleaning Whore

By Nelson

I’m starting to think I need a new category for Stuart Booth. Somehow, none of the existing labels quite do justice to his awfulness. He combines them all: stupidity, ignorance, racism, a searing, almighty selfishness and a sense of his own majesty that makes Noel Edmonds look like Ghandi.

Under the law, any woman marrying a man, doing nothing for it other than what any decent human being would do, then divorcing the man, gets half his worth anyway – Surely this is not fair, I’ll pay our lass to do some cleaning if when we split, she doesn’t get half my worth.
Stuart Booth, Northampton, United Kingdom

Good idea. What would she want with “half a pig’s anus” anyway?

15 Responses to “Wanted: Cleaning Whore”

  1. on 20 Feb 2008 at 12:04 pm   Petpete

    Good point..but that spelling of Gandhi made me wretch.
    Tut tut.

  2. on 20 Feb 2008 at 12:14 pm   6000

    I think our aim as a semi-autonomous authoring and readership collective, determined to right the wrongs of idiots such as this one, should be to locate Mrs Booth and send her a copy of her hubby’s witterings. Most especially this one.

    Have a feeling he’d soon be paying for cleaning as well as a few other things.

    So – anyone got the Northampton phone book handy?

  3. on 20 Feb 2008 at 12:35 pm   Nelson

    Good point..but that spelling of Gandhi made me wretch.

    I would never have noticed. Now you’ve pointed it out and I feel sick. SICK.

  4. on 20 Feb 2008 at 12:40 pm   Monty

    That spelling of “retch” had a similar effect on me.

  5. on 20 Feb 2008 at 1:04 pm   Mr Cat

    What makes me shudder (spelling errors apart) is what Stuart Booth considers to be “what any decent human being would do”

    It makes me think of the Travis Frey marital contract:

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

  6. on 20 Feb 2008 at 1:06 pm   Oliver

    Stuart’s got it all wrong. If he kept his ‘lass’ barefoot and hungry she’d be far less likely to leave him in the first place, being reliant on his favours and scraps for survival.

    If he pays her anything, she’ll soon get the idea there’s more to be had and take him to the cleaners.

    It’s namby pamby thinking like Stuarts that ends up costing blokes half their jazz mag and beer money, and serves them right too. Keep a tight reign on your woman or you have only yourself to blame.

  7. on 20 Feb 2008 at 1:22 pm   Scaryduck

    A nice set of iron manacles. That’ll keep “our lass” from getting ideas about divorce lawyers.

    Also, it’ll give her something else to polish of an evening.

  8. on 20 Feb 2008 at 1:34 pm   gazzag

    Cleaning whore: http://bristol.gumtree.com/bristol/00/17935400.html

    Bristol’s Stuart Booth perhaps?

  9. on 20 Feb 2008 at 4:57 pm   Ner

    Stuart Booth? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/4367699.stm

  10. on 20 Feb 2008 at 5:15 pm   Nelson

    Nah, he’s about 150 miles too far north.

    Besides, he shares my love of pork pies and so he must be a good chap.

  11. on 20 Feb 2008 at 5:31 pm   fucko the clown

    but Noel Edmunds does look like Gandalf?

  12. on 20 Feb 2008 at 8:58 pm   Mo

    Shudder… why did you have to link to that sick marriage contract? The horror! The endless horror of speak your branes!

  13. on 21 Feb 2008 at 12:18 am   fucko the clown

    Its a wonder she hasn’t knocked his remaining teeth out.

  14. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:33 am   Nelson

    It makes me think of the Travis Frey marital contract:

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

    I think the phrase “You’ve thought of everything” is bandied about, willy-nilly, these days. This chap really has.

  15. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:45 pm   Vicola

    The trouble Stuart is going to have is that the cleaning products may erode the latex that ‘our lass’ is composed of, causing her to deflate and poor Stuart to have to fork out for a new model.