Racists and The Regular Twats and Unfocused Rage and Werthers Original Imperialists21 Feb 2008 01:13 pm
By Nelson

Britain had an empire, we then gave it back because we upset some people apparently, now we have to turn over our society to groups that are not here for our good. Of course we should invest in space exploration and heavily, I for one think that we need to go and find another planet to inhabit, one where we can keep out any undesirables. This is prbably the best sokution all around.
Stuart Booth, Northampton, United Kingdom

Good luck with that galactic Empire.

25 Responses to “Darth Booth”

  1. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:24 pm Oliver

    And Stuart, in my opinion you are EXACTLY the person we need to go and find this planet. A round trip at light speed to our nearest solar system would take about 35 of your earth years, so a quick sortie round the galaxy hunting for suitable planets that have just the right atmospheric mix to sustain human life, a rich supply of natural resources and diverse animal/plant population for farming should skeep you occupied for several millenia. Good timing of NASA to bring the shuttle back, just as you had the idea, eh.

  2. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:29 pm fucko the clown

    If we could only develop a rocket that ran on bile, hatred and general cuntyness, Stuart could single handedly explore the universe.

  3. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:30 pm fucko the clown

    hmmm, should I have spelt Cuntyness with an “I”, difficult to call on that one.

  4. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:49 pm La Smoggette

    A galactic empire is a bitch to keep hold of.

    You build one tiny Death Star, this apparently upsets some people and then they make you give it back.

    However, I do agree that it’s prbably the best sokution all round.

  5. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:49 pm Vicola

    Do you reckon Stuart will take ‘our lass’ along to do the cleaning on his new planet then? I’ve been trying to work out exactly what drugs Stuart is on from his rantings but I have to admit I’m stumped as most drugs cause you to become cheerful and hyper rather than a grumpy bigoted fuckpig.

  6. on 21 Feb 2008 at 1:57 pm UnderHerd

    For some reason, whenever Stuart says “we” or “our”, I always get the feeling he is actually thinking “I” and “my”, respectively.

  7. on 21 Feb 2008 at 2:13 pm Misophist

    Fast forward 30,000 years to Rigel 7 and some tentacled alien will be typing, in Rigel Sevenonian, “Earthlings, if you don’t mostly methane atmospheres then go back to Earth”. I’m sure.

  8. on 21 Feb 2008 at 2:18 pm gazzag

    fucko the clown> cuntiness.

    Definitely.

  9. on 21 Feb 2008 at 2:55 pm Padwick

    I can see Stuart starting a space orientated religion called “Sokution” or “The Sokution”. Looks like Scientology’s got competition for recruiting fuck nuggets.

  10. on 21 Feb 2008 at 2:57 pm Robin

    Is this the ultimate “I can’t stand immigrants so I’m off to live in another country” post?

    (Oliver: there’s another stellar system about four light years away and if you went there or anywhere else “at light speed” no time would pass for you anyway. Have this Science Award.)

  11. on 21 Feb 2008 at 3:00 pm Nelson

    Excellent pedantry Robin but remember, the important bit is not how much time passes for Stuart, but how long he’s gone for :)

  12. on 21 Feb 2008 at 3:18 pm piersy

    Naa, this guy has to be a tongue in cheek creation.
    I occasionally get all bloody minded and post deliberately obtuse comments on websites.
    This has to a Jon Swift/Amazon I’ve never read style hobby.

  13. on 21 Feb 2008 at 3:22 pm sriepy

    Typical leftist pinko islamofascists leave him be.
    Booth is only skaying what everyones thiinking but daren’t say.
    I hope he makes it to Tau Ceti and sets up a utopia, so I can then go and .. err… emigrate to it….err..if he’ll have me.

    ;-)

  14. on 21 Feb 2008 at 3:24 pm Oliver

    Dead right. Very good pedantry, but Nelson is spot on, its the time we would be without Mr Booth that counts.

    Of course, attaining light speed or anything close presents its own problems (something to do with mass and energy, I believe) so the chances are Stuart would be forced to trawl the galaxy at no where near ‘warp’ speed.

    A ship powered on his cuntyness would of course continue the search long after his actual demise. We should therefore perhaps expect visitation from a few aliens some time in the 201st century making it quite clear that they would prefer we keep to our own planet as the remains of the last human they came across indicated he was a right tosspot.

  15. on 21 Feb 2008 at 3:27 pm Bev

    “now we have to turn over our society to groups that are not here for our good”. I wonder if that’s what the indigenous life on whatever unfortunate planet he may find will be thinking when clapping eyes on Stuart “Witless Shitprawn” Booth? Also, how do you invest in “heavily”?

  16. on 21 Feb 2008 at 4:13 pm Scaryduck

    This will only end in tears, at the wrong end of some murderous Space Hitler’s “Final Sokution”

  17. on 22 Feb 2008 at 5:35 am Mayor, Chypping Norton, Rigel VII

    Dear Humans,

    Don’t come up here, blurting our blandanbladderstiddles and forgnorting our flibblets and demanding that we rename our Festival of Argblargnog (yes, we do speak Welsh on Rigel) ‘179 days of constant night Festival’. We’re not fucking having it.

    If you like planet earth so flipping much, why don’t you just stay there?

    Regards &c.

  18. on 22 Feb 2008 at 8:57 am Perfidy

    Stuart, go live on Youranus.

  19. on 22 Feb 2008 at 9:25 am fucko the clown

    Using Stuart Booth as an intergalactic ambassador for the human race is like hiring Steve Wright to sort out the redlight district in norwich.

  20. on 22 Feb 2008 at 9:48 am Oliver

    Steve Wright did sort out the red light district in his own special way. If he did this in Norwich, then he did a much better job of it than Ipswich where he had to murder five prossies to get the result he was looking for.

    I’m amazed more people of Norwich didn’t come to his trial to say what a great job he had done for them.

    (Apology: Sorry for the gratuitous use of the word ‘prossie’. Ashes to Ashes on TV last night made me nostaligic for un-PC words of yesteryear)

    Also. Youranus. Funny……I am six, again!

  21. on 22 Feb 2008 at 10:18 am James

    Is Stuart Booth competing to write the first comment ever to hit every category on this site simultaneously?

  22. on 22 Feb 2008 at 10:46 am fucko the clown

    Norwich - Ipswich, distance is no barrier when you have a cuntiness powered intergalactic space ship.

  23. on 22 Feb 2008 at 12:07 pm Deggars

    Sokution - if I’m gonna get executed, that’s the way I want to go.

  24. on 22 Feb 2008 at 12:25 pm piersy

    Stuart Booth fan of pork pies anyone?

  25. on 22 Feb 2008 at 8:59 pm La Smoggette

    “As long as I’m not wearing the pork pie man suit - she won’t be bothered.”

    His plans are more advanced than we thought: his intergalatic sojourns have already introduced him to Pork Pie Man, the well-known superhero from Youranus.

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