Permanently Bewildered22 Feb 2008 11:08 am

Eezy Squeezy

By Nelson

Thanks to Phil.

I’m not that happy drinking London tap water because it’s been recycled so many times
Peter Blake, London

You should come and live up north. We make our water by squeezing hydrogen and oxygen together in a special press. We call it an “Eezy Squeezy Water Maker”. Unfortunately, we’re still using recycled hydrogen from left-over Zeppelins and oxygen that might already have been breathed once or twice by some goats. Tastes fine though.

6 Responses to “Eezy Squeezy”

  1. on 22 Feb 2008 at 11:25 am   Padwick

    Yet he’s so happy to gurgle his mother’s piss in his bi-monthly sex marathon. Once i defecated into some London water, I hope it was recycled and Peter’s mum drank it before urinating in his crusty herpes-riddled gnashers.

  2. on 22 Feb 2008 at 12:16 pm   D

    You can get Herpes in your teeth??..Oh shit!

  3. on 22 Feb 2008 at 12:30 pm   arsebanana

    When I read the words Eezy Squeezy I thought you meant that all the drinking water in London has previously been used by those guys who clean windscreens at the traffic lights. Had me worried there for a moment!

  4. on 22 Feb 2008 at 2:25 pm   Oliver

    I used to be fine about drinking london tap water, but now I cant help thinking ‘this stuff has been through Peter Blake’ and it makes me feel ill.

    Fortunately, I then think this stuff could have gone through Keira Knightley or Cheryl Cole (Don’t even think about posting what your thinking!) and it makes me feel much better.

  5. on 22 Feb 2008 at 2:32 pm   Jollity

    Also, the air molecules you breathe may have previously been passed from someone’s back passage. You might be breathing Peter Blake’s flatulent emissions right now! But then, he might be breathing yours, so it all balances out.

  6. on 22 Feb 2008 at 7:27 pm   arsebanana

    and he’s almost certainly drinking my spunk