Normal People25 Feb 2008 11:23 am

National Shoe Database

By Nelson

Even though I am law abiding I find that my attitude to the Police has changed over the last decade or so. I now actually avoid and fear the police in case any interaction leads them to decide that they need to sample my DNA and add it to their database. When they have your DNA it’s creepy - almost like they can read your sole.
Lisa, Manchester

If you’ve done nothing wrong then you’ve nothing to fear. Also, if you are planning on doing something wrong, just borrow someone else’s shoes, then they’ll never catch you.

11 Responses to “National Shoe Database”

  1. on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:37 am   arsebanana

    They won’t try and read your sole unless you look a bit fishy

  2. on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:39 am   9 US 42 EURO

    The Police read my sole, it led them straight to me.

  3. on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:47 am   Neil M

    I blame the text message culture - our yoof of 2day have bin usin predictif txtin for so long they don’t understand wot words mean.
    LOL and all of that bollocks

  4. on 25 Feb 2008 at 12:19 pm   Fish

    /auto-correct “our souls/arseholes” joke

  5. on 25 Feb 2008 at 1:47 pm   papple

    so big feet and you’re busted?
    fuckotheclown must be brickin it.

  6. on 25 Feb 2008 at 2:20 pm   Honest Mistake

    A Britain Day is a bit of a joke coming from a government whose soul intention is destroying British values. A pathetic ploy to make us feel better about the enormous influx of immigrants that have been imposed on us.

    Jelly Bean

    Recommended by 337 people

    Same joke, came heartily recommended.

  7. on 25 Feb 2008 at 2:47 pm   Mr Blackett

    A sole database is exactly what we need. The only people with anything to worry about are people who’ve done something wrong. I believe that anyone that does complain is guilty of something and should be shot or set on fire or something. I have nothing to hide. My sole says Adidas - Size 12.

  8. on 25 Feb 2008 at 4:12 pm   Toby

    I can’t for the life of me find it now, but there was someone saying a Britain Day was needed to commemorate the death of our once great blah blah blah, immigrants blah, Europe blah, Bliar blah, health and safety blah etc. It could have been an exemplar of how to get on here, I wish I could find it…

  9. on 25 Feb 2008 at 9:48 pm   James

    The creation of a shoe database is yet another irresponsible and cowardly move by New Labour to make it easier for paedos to abuse our children. All a paedo has to do in order to target children is order the database by size in ascending order. He’ll even get the ones with smallest feet, and therefore the slowest runners, first!

    I am enrolling young Tarquin in clown school immediately, and I recommend anyone who cares about the anal sanctity of their precious one does the same.

  10. on 26 Feb 2008 at 3:14 am   awesom-o-4000

    I also avoid interation with the Police. Because it generally means that some scrote has broken into my car again.

  11. on 03 Jun 2008 at 2:50 am   GREG COOK

    Anal sanctity. I was going to add something vitally important to this discussion/debate. Then I saw that “anal sanctity” and I shat myself laughing and forgot what my point was. I shall return when I’ve cleaned up.