Normal People27 Feb 2008 03:37 pm

Bless

By Nelson

Thanks to Hayley.

yeah so i had just woken up.
and everything was moving
i thought my washmachine was braking or somthing.
my little sister came into my room asking what was happening
i said the washmachine is braking.
my mother told her to stop being silly that it was a earthquake
loran, bilsthorpe

If someone approaches you trying to acquire film rights, hold out for a percentage of gross.

12 Responses to “Bless”

  1. on 27 Feb 2008 at 3:45 pm   arsebanana

    I was indulging in the sin of Onan at the moment when the earthquake struck. I can confirm that the earth moved.

  2. on 27 Feb 2008 at 4:36 pm   domino

    what’s the betting “Loran” is seven?

    And what about the paedophiles? They know where she lives now!

  3. on 27 Feb 2008 at 4:37 pm   domino

    actually, a good 90% of the comments are by 7yr olds:

    “i was awake and i was like whats that?

    ran into my mum and she said dont know

    i said it was was an earthquake and she didnt beleve me

    lolz

    x

    charley craze”

  4. on 27 Feb 2008 at 4:46 pm   SlartyBartFarst

    Is that one of those paedophiles masquerading as a child?

  5. on 27 Feb 2008 at 8:05 pm   spaceman

    I always find it hard to tell which HYS comments are made by 7yr olds and which are made by adults. I mean… right now, you could be a 7yr old pretending to be a paedo, or a paedo pretending to be a 7yr old and I’d never know the difference. It’s just so confusing. I may stay in tonight and groom myself.

  6. on 27 Feb 2008 at 8:08 pm   cycloon

    I’d say it’s a damning indictment of the internet. People pretending to be that which they are not! The fact we just don’t know! Oh arses!

  7. on 27 Feb 2008 at 8:25 pm   domino

    well I’m wondering whether a seven year old would masquerade as a middle aged podgy bloke with BO and a penchant for kiddies. Mind, they’re so streetwise these days, who knows?

    *hands round the Werthers*

  8. on 28 Feb 2008 at 7:56 am   Graham

    I read that in the style of free-form poetry. It scans much better that way. Saying that, Loran’s commentary seems considered, deep and insightful compared with this collection of photos of cracks in walls that a bunch of assorted fucknuggets sent to Sky News.

  9. on 28 Feb 2008 at 10:19 am   Mr Cat

    Yeah – I like Loran’s freestyle poetry. it has something.

    The fact that sky news has a section of its website dedicated to spoof quake photo’s sent in by the public makes me sick. I mean… someone BROKE THEIR PELVIS. Not sure that sort of thing would have gone down as well on December 26th 2004.

  10. on 28 Feb 2008 at 10:20 am   Scaryduck

    Dear parents,

    It’s ‘Lauren’, you illiterate fuckwits. ‘Lauren’.

    ‘Loran’, I ask you. Please do not attempt to breed again.

  11. on 28 Feb 2008 at 1:49 pm   Wayne

    This would make a wonderful blues song. Loran is obviously the next Joss or Duffy – she’ll be on MySpace by the end of the week.

    yeah so i had just woken up.

    and everything was moving
    …

  12. on 03 Jun 2008 at 2:45 am   GREG COOK

    I got lost the other night so I stopped at a farm to ask for directions. In the stable there was a bloke grooming a horse. he was in one of them chat-rooms, pretending to be Mister Ed. So watch out, that’s all I’m saying.