Normal People27 Feb 2008 03:37 pm
By Nelson
Thanks to Hayley.
yeah so i had just woken up.
and everything was moving
i thought my washmachine was braking or somthing.
my little sister came into my room asking what was happening
i said the washmachine is braking.
my mother told her to stop being silly that it was a earthquake
loran, bilsthorpe
If someone approaches you trying to acquire film rights, hold out for a percentage of gross.
I was indulging in the sin of Onan at the moment when the earthquake struck. I can confirm that the earth moved.
what’s the betting “Loran” is seven?
And what about the paedophiles? They know where she lives now!
actually, a good 90% of the comments are by 7yr olds:
“i was awake and i was like whats that?
ran into my mum and she said dont know
i said it was was an earthquake and she didnt beleve me
lolz
x
charley craze”
Is that one of those paedophiles masquerading as a child?
I always find it hard to tell which HYS comments are made by 7yr olds and which are made by adults. I mean… right now, you could be a 7yr old pretending to be a paedo, or a paedo pretending to be a 7yr old and I’d never know the difference. It’s just so confusing. I may stay in tonight and groom myself.
I’d say it’s a damning indictment of the internet. People pretending to be that which they are not! The fact we just don’t know! Oh arses!
well I’m wondering whether a seven year old would masquerade as a middle aged podgy bloke with BO and a penchant for kiddies. Mind, they’re so streetwise these days, who knows?
*hands round the Werthers*
I read that in the style of free-form poetry. It scans much better that way. Saying that, Loran’s commentary seems considered, deep and insightful compared with this collection of photos of cracks in walls that a bunch of assorted fucknuggets sent to Sky News.
Yeah - I like Loran’s freestyle poetry. it has something.
The fact that sky news has a section of its website dedicated to spoof quake photo’s sent in by the public makes me sick. I mean… someone BROKE THEIR PELVIS. Not sure that sort of thing would have gone down as well on December 26th 2004.
Dear parents,
It’s ‘Lauren’, you illiterate fuckwits. ‘Lauren’.
‘Loran’, I ask you. Please do not attempt to breed again.
This would make a wonderful blues song. Loran is obviously the next Joss or Duffy - she’ll be on MySpace by the end of the week.
yeah so i had just woken up.
and everything was moving
…
I got lost the other night so I stopped at a farm to ask for directions. In the stable there was a bloke grooming a horse. he was in one of them chat-rooms, pretending to be Mister Ed. So watch out, that’s all I’m saying.