Thanks to Jon for pointing me at this chap. I eagerly await the usual brace of comments assuring me that he can’t possibly be real.
It has long been known that Royalty is appointed by God. Having a prince at their side will be a boost to the common footsoldier.
Even the Talyban will think twice before shooting at a prince. Their respect for god will weaken their resolve to kill his annointed representative on earth.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’
[UnionJackSparrow], London, United Kingdom
It’s a wonder he bothers with bodyguards, what with that holy aura.
White working class people do the bulk of fighting in Iraq. But would any of these so called Iraqi Asylum seekers join the British Army – fight for the country that has welcomed them onto its dole against their oppressive former homeland.
People coming to Britain need to BE BRITISH FIRST.
[UnionJackSparrow], London, United Kingdom
That’s the cleverest idea I’ve heard in years. Suddenly, China’s growing military strength seems less worrying. Granted, we may not have the resources to invade them ourselves, but if we outsource our army to China (where soldiers are cheap and plentiful) we can take them easy.
28 Responses to “Annointy Nointy”
Sparrow hasn’t gone far enough in my opinion: people coming to Britain need to be sent somewhere where they can be shot at in a British uniform by their former compatriots. Its the price of freedom.
What does he mean by “so called Iraqi”?
Now I’m confused. Where do minor Royals, Lords of the realm and people with OBEs stand on this whole Appointed-by-God thing?
Would I, for example, stand a better chance of winning if I got The Honourable Kirstie Allsopp to do my pools coupon for me?
Replace the army with royals. If the so-called foreigners shoot an appointed annointed God embodiment he’d be on them like a ton of bricks and give us all their petrol.
He’s got a point though. Queen Mum, royal to the end, survives the war, the Windsor Castle fire, and a gin pickling to die aged a million in her sleep. Diana takes one step outside the ring of protection to knob an Egyptian and ends up eating overpass.
Even Princess Margaret lasted to 71, despite her insides being made of fag ash and nicotine stains from the age of 18.
I would like to see Harry with sellotaped chinese eyelids chasing the “talyban” with a cleaver. To yackety sax.
Certain victory.
‘People coming to Britain need to BE BRITISH FIRST’
I think he wants another island called ‘Britain’ set up so people go there, get ‘British’ed up, and then come to…Britain. Or the other way around. I don’t know.
I think he meant brighton
He believes in God? Mmmm’kay…
He believes in the concept of Royalty? Uh huh…
He believes that God _appoints_ royalty?
This country’s gone MAD!!!!!!!!..
What I love about the whole “appointed by God” thing is the image that it brings to my mind of “God” literally appointing the royals personally. Y’know, with a shiny sword or something.
How will the Iraqi rebels be able to identify Harry in battle? Will he wear a crown?
Simple: He’s the one in the really shiny tank, who isn’t doing any fighting and looks like a ginger horse.
God, my other half believes that stuff about the queen being appointed by God. Admittedly not the crap about the ginger one not being a target but believing that Liz is somewhat a divinely appointed parasite is bad enough. I like to think of it as his one idiosyncracy in an otherwise eccentric normality.
On the other hand he does cook bloody well and he has other skills…
Ah, but Richard I died in battle (shot in the shoulder, it went gangrenous), Henry VIII’s son (Edward VI?) died aged about fifteen and the Queen’s father, George VI, died of cancer aged fifty-six. So either God really wanted those ones in heaven, or this holy protection isn’t necessarily all it’s cracked up to be.
Maybe he’s a fan of Clint Eastwood films:
—————————————-
English Bob: [discussing the assassination of President Garfield] If you were to try to assassinate a king, sir, the… how shall I say it? The aura of royalty would cause you to miss. But, the president… [chuckles] I mean, why not shoot the president?
—————————————-
I think we’ve found the problem. [UnionJackSparrow] thinks ‘Unforgiven’ was a documentary.
I always thought harry was appointed by james hewitt,nobbing diana
It’s quite sweet in a depressing way that UnionJackSparrow is so parochial that he imagines the Taliban are some kind of ultra-fundamentalist C of E.
Cake Or Burkha?
Edward VII spent much of his life either fornicating or blatted on drink and dodgy substances, whilst getting to marry Scandinavian royalty.
See? They ARE appointed by God.
@humiliated:
Buy your missus a copy of this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Utterly-Impartial-History-Britain-Upper-class/dp/0385611986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205244504&sr=1-1
And tell her to stop being so bleeding stupid.
Actually Gazzag, Humilated is a woman, and it’s her bloke who believes that supreme executive power comes from a farcical aquatic ceremony.
If you assume that the mentalist comments come from the mouths of women I think you’re better off posting here.
@Billyo:
Whoa! If you like sexism so much why don’t you go and live there?
Anyway, my apologies to humiliated for not reading her post correctly. So, I’ll try again:
@humiliated:
Buy your bloke a copy of this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Utterly-Impartial-History-Britain-Upper-class/dp/0385611986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205244504&sr=1-1
And tell him to stop being so bleeding stupid.
Do you think he realises that Jack Sparrow is actually in the gays and therefore God hates him?
You need to sharpen up on spotting the fakes. Sparrow is taking the piss, innit?
The real problem is that I have no way of knowing it’s a fake until someone sharp enough to get the joke points it out.
Then I start wondering “Perhaps it’s ‘lolz’ who’s taking the piss now and UnionJackSparrow is actually real?”. Sometimes I worry about this for hours. I am paralysed with indecision and .. ooh! Biscuits! bbl.
If the royals were appointed by God… who appointed God?
There should at least be some kind of referendum next time.
“…so called Iraqi Asylum seekers…”
If indeed that’s what they are, which he very much doubts, and why shouldn’t he? They come over here, stealing our food…
“He’s got a point though. Queen Mum, royal to the end, survives the war, the Windsor Castle fire, and a gin pickling to die aged a million in her sleep. Diana takes one step outside the ring of protection to knob an Egyptian and ends up eating overpass.
Even Princess Margaret lasted to 71, despite her insides being made of fag ash and nicotine stains from the age of 18.”
Well that necessitated a change of underwear.