Miscellaneous Prats12 Mar 2008 12:06 pm
By Nelson
A very old one. Thanks to Ner for this. Fuck knows what the question was.
Great Britain quite contrary
How does your workforce grow?
With no disabled but with white women
and their children
waiting at home.
Robert Edge
I’d always wondered who exactly it was that enjoyed “comedy songs”. It’s the people who haven’t the wit to write them. This explains why everyone has occasionally had to sit through some cunt singing songs where one line ends with “muck” and the next rhyming line ends with “Ffffinsbury Park”. YOU THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO SING “FUCK”! DO YOU SEE? THAT’S WHY IT’S FUNNY. HE NEARLY SANG “FUCK”! GET IT? “FUCK”? IT’S RUDE AND HE NEARLY SAID IT. Laugh? I nearly dropped my wheatgrass sorbet.
20 Responses to “The “Musical Stylings” Of”
I think that’s one of Weird Al Yankovich’s tunes.
Is this Mr Edge from U2? If so it’s a vast improvment on most of their lyrics
Robert Edge is a man on the internet
And his views can be rather blunt
And if you’re me when you read his posts
You imagine he’s a bit of a cccccretin.
Shit, that was a typo. I meant to say he’s a cunt. Robery Edge is a cunt. “Cunt” is the word which describes Robert Edge, who is a cunt.
Apologies for any misunderstanding.
Try as I might, I can’t get that one to rhyme.
I’ll never forget two lines from a song by Rosser & Davies, winners of Opportunity Knocks, about a woman’s unsuccessful relationship with a Chinese man:
Rosser: ‘She called him Bannana’
Davies: ‘Why?’
Rosser: ‘Cos he was yellow and bent’
.. and that got voted to victory by the public. Which just goes to show that democracy achieves piss all if you’re just voting for which type of turd you’d prefer to eat.
“and the next rhyming line ends with “Ffffinsbury Park”.”
… come to think of it, I remember Richard Stillgoe singing a song a bit like that, where the magic word was ‘Cockfosters’. Made me piss, mind. He’s a one.
Favourite fact [culled from ISIHAC]: Finsbury Park if said backwards comes out something like “Krapy Rub Snif”.
Robert Edge is the new Sir Edward Elgar and should be knighted. And indeed buried.
To the same tune:
Robert Edgy
Quite contredgy
Stupid stupid arse;
You stupid arse,
You stupid arse,
You stupid stupid arse.
I prefer Robert Edge’s earlier work.
I’d really love to know how long it took to come up with this poetic masterpeice. I can just see Mr Edge at the kitchen table at 3 in the morning pencil in one hand and a mountain of screwed up paper spilling out of the bin, with this going on in his head
“Come on Bob, what rhymes with grow….Aha, got it, HOME fanatastic”
The current poet laureate must be uncontrollably shitting his pants
Robert Edge is a victim of “second album syndrome”. His first album “Parachutes” by Robert Edge and the Coldplays is quite excellent.
There once was a poet called Edge
Who had a wonderful sledge
He went down the hill
Very fast until
He came to a stop in a twatpisswanker
Just spotted this one on the “Do you have a black & white tv set” article (must be a slow news day).
“Suffice to say, I’m colourblind
So Black & White sets suit me fine
For lower bills I lose no thrills
but suffer the wife’s relentless whine
Michael Paris, London”
I hope to God that rhyming whinging doesn’t catch on.
I reckon there’s a whole other blog in this. “The Poetry of Bellends”.
Don’t mug me off you muggy cunt.
The market for hilarious novelty songs is already cornered by the combined “comedy” output of Radio 2 and Radio 4. Step off, Robert, or you might get burnt – bitch.
In this guy’s defence, he still writes better poetry than Boris Johnson.
IYLISMWDYGLT wasn’t first – look – http://www.wereallneighbours.co.uk/idlechat/message.php?id=24798&page=6
also,
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jude_Fellows/1035021933
Jude looks like a lady