Thanks to pencilmonitor for finding this on the Daily Express site. It’s about someone who got murdered (does anyone else struggle to be terrified by these, admittedly awful, stories? I just can’t connect freak events to the uneventful lives almost everyone is actually living. Perhaps I need to get worse at maths. Or maybe just join more mobs).
I’m not sure the phrase “shooting fish in a barrel” quite covers spotting SYB entries on the Daily Express site. I prefer “smashing sleeping kittens in the face with a hammer”.
Felt quite giddy reading this. Bring back hanging as soon as possible because these crimes are just getting sicker and sicker. If they are hanged they can’t plead temporary insanity.
SonofNeptune
Depressed? Temporarily insane? Worried about what you read in your arse-scratch of a newspaper? Got a bit of a sore leg? Hang yourself today!
25 Responses to “Panacea”
Last time I felt “giddy”, I was 8 years old and passed out with excitement in Games Workshop (bringing down several shelves of Ultramarines with me, GW fans). I cannot equate this kind of excitement to the prospect of hanging criminals.
Can Thursdays be renamed to “Capital punishment day” on SYB, Nelson?
“String-em-up Thursday”. I like it.
Genius
“If they are hanged they can’t plead temporary insanity”
Hanging as a solution to these pesky ‘defence’ arguments that the accused come up with.
there werent none of these murders back when they used to hang people for all the murders what they or someone else did all the time
Yes, Chris, this innovative contribution to jurisprudence that hanging people is a good way to pre-empt bogus pleas of temporary insanity seems flawless.
Could be extended to asylum claims saving many tax £££££ and doubtless assuaging Son of Neptune’s vertigo.
Hanging’s too good for em I say.
In fact, instant hanging for anyone accused of anything, that way they wont be able to put any defence at all.
Can I start?
SonofNeptune is a drug addict. Get’s giddy reading internet pages. String the fucker up.
SonofNeptune is right, forget all the “Innocent until proven guilty” malarkey that’s going on and kill them as soon as possible after arrest, before they get silly things like “defence” in a “court” where there’s a “trial”. That way we will always get the bastards
Why not hang the fuckers before they’ve done anything? If they’re brown, talk funny or wear hooded tops, they’re clearly going to commit a vile crime and must be stopped.
Why stop at brown people? Surely mentals might murder too? I say we shoot everyone who is a bit spacky, just to make sure.
More murderous fun over at Sky News about today’s nutter on the runway at Heathrow:
Should have been routinely shot. in this day and age. Two rounds that man!
Posted by Paul from Croydon
What an idiot, the police should have shot him in the head!
Posted by Johnny from London
More likely than not to have been a schizophrenic in need of mental health care but fuck it gun him down and at worst you’re saving the NHS a few quid.
Somehow, I always suspected that the Daily Express was written for the kind of people who feel all giddy when they read about horrible murders.
SON probably only wants them to bring hanging back so he can stand in the front row frantically rubbing his sweaty palms (or other extremities).
Wicca’d, I like your style. Another idea, why not include those that practice witchcraft?
Oh…sorry.
No need to worry about that. Wiccans tend to die young due to the sheer banality and tedium of their lives
oi! I’m a mental!
domino: I’m more of a mental than you are, and I say hang me AND ALL OTHER MENTALS now, if only for the sake of the children.
Seriously - somebody stop me now. I’m only ONE checkbox away from black or paedo.
I’m not a Wiccan, I just like puns
I’m going to shoot everyone who looks a bit shifty and has a light tan. It’s the only way to be sure.
KILL EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Except the white ones. If you kill white people as well that’s reverse racism.
so this killing thing, are we finally agreed then?
Pete: Don’t worry, Ultramarines are for beginners.
i can see how the news of a gruesome murder can have a similar effect to sniffing a permanent marker pen.
but pull yourself together man. giddyness isn’t what made britain GREAT. the word “giddy” is a cobbling togehter of the words “gay” and “yiddo”, examples of the sort of degenerates who naturally succumb to the sensation. but we brits are made of sterner stuff.
Ultramarines? All the cool kids had Space Wolves in my day.
@Neko: The DE is written for pensioners to encourage them to emigrate, thus reducing the pensions burden. It’s a big sinister conspiracy, I blame Tony Bliar personally.
Mankind will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. Have no idea to what extent, if at all, that is relevant. Drunk as a cunt. Sue me.