An old one from Nerys. Nearly didn’t manage to post this today because DreamHost have been utterly shite and this site’s been down (along with thousands of others). Slug slots.
Its about time all free handouts were discontinued. We have streets covered in chewing gum, municipal gardens unkept and we have a social system that gives alcoholics £20 extra per day for booze, persistant gamblers up to £60 per day to feed slot machines. What incentive is that to go out and find work. Disability claiments should have to collect their benefit from a shelf above their heads. If they can reach it they are fit enough to fill supermarket shelves which they should be by next week.
Mike Easy, Norwich
I heard that knives gangs get up to £400 an hour to sharpen their knives!!!! It’s political correctness gone mad!!!??! Having said this, I am a little worried that this is all completely made up and that I’m such a gibbering puffin’s twat that I’ll believe anything as long as it broadly corresponds with my shrill hatred of everything that doesn’t make me richer, warmer or fatter.
15 Responses to “Animal Fanny Tuesdays #11”
There are plenty of people out looking for work who can’t get it because they’re too old or something. But apparently, it’s rather more in the best interests of the country to ignore those and instead to hound people who can’t work or won’t work.
I’d just like to chip in with my appreciation of the term ‘municipal gardens’. Mmm, don’t hear that 1950s creamy goodness very often these days.
If only he’d said they were ‘unkempt’, I’d have been in archaism heaven.
Hey those handouts sound great. Twenty quid a day for booze. I’m thinking of moving to Britain to cash in, especially because I’m reliably assured that it’s much easier for immigrants to get onto them than hardworking British people. Of course I’ll leave my passport at home, just so I’m illegal as well.
Of course, I could just stay in Australia and let you folks deal with these Kangaroo’s gashes.
“slug slots”
..fnar..
This man is proposing a system of allocating disability benefits where the people who are genuinely disabled can’t get it and the people who are faking it can. Surely the fundamental drawback of such a system is it’s COMPLETELY THE WRONG FUCKING WAY ROUND. Why don’t the politically incorrect brigade ever think their policies through?
Because thinking it through would involve a bit of consideration and empathy for other people, when it’s far easier and more satisfying to just jerk, jerk, jerk that knee.
I don’t think his test goes far enough - I think, if they are able to stack shelves successfully, with a disability, they’re probably a witch. In which case - burn ‘em.
Firm but fair.
as a wannabee alcoholic poker player where can I get this extra cash from to kick start my chosen career?
Cripes. Supermarkets are bad enough without the aisles full of staff on wheelchairs.
Alex: Could be he’s taking the piss. It’s like the old joke about sending asylum seekers back to their country of origin: if they get brutally tortured and executed without trial then their case is genuine and we can let them in.
Trouble is most people who make this joke have no grasp of irony, the sort of people who enjoy Alf Garnett but don’t realise that he’s taking the piss out of them. On balance, the guy is a gnu’s gulch and will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
If you’re in a wheelchair you should still be able to put things on shelves just above your head, so you’re not disabled enough. What a koala’s camel’s foot.
Speaking as a fully paid-up gambling addict, I am fucking pissed off - to say the least - to learn that I have been missing out on my sixty quid a day hand-out for the last 25 years.
That’s over half a million I’ve missed out on, and I bet you ANY MONEY it’s not back-dated, either.
Where do I get this £20 a day boozing money from? I wish I’d known about that years ago, I would have saved myself a small fortune.
and apparently the immigrants are responsible for the massive increase in london house prices so that real nice people can’t afford them any more.
and for the london housing price crash.
read it somewhere…
£20/day………..they’re only giving me £21.84/week.
They’re fucking heartless I cant get piassed and stay pissed on that.
Its enough to make you leave the country, booze aint this dear anywhere else