Miscellaneous Prats and Permanently Bewildered and Werthers Original Imperialists27 Mar 2008 04:34 pm
By Nelson

Thanks to Niki for these nuggets from the “Should scientists graft poisonous horse cocks onto the faces of our children?” debate.

Yes there certainly should be a free vote.
I don’t think most people would even think of eating their pet’s food, yet this bill suggests mixing genetic material of animals and human beings. There are other aspects of this bill …lack of need for a father, furthering abortion etc etc. A slippery slope and should be morally unacceptable to any thinking person with a modicum of respect for the dignity of the human person. The sneering attitude of Winston, Harris et al belies a sinister contempt.
NC, Doncaster

Fuck’s sake. Could you try, just for ONCE, to get the right end of the stick? They’re not trying to build humans that like to eat dog biscuits, they’re trying to build dogs that are fussy about what they eat.

Wouldn’t it be great to go back in time and ask Sir Winston Churchill his views on hybird embryo research in the UK Imagine the year 1946 WW2 is over The horrors of Hitler’s death camps have been exposed for all the world to see The SS will be tried for crimes against humanity Hitler’s dream of a super race was defeated only to come back in another form -embryo hybirds Can science deliver what they promise -eternal youth and if so at what price to the human soul?
angelica adams, cambrdige ma usa

I suspect Winston would say something like “Dotsy rye bow new click what?? Get out of my face you stinking harpy”.

If I could go back in time, I’d ask Florence Nightingale why the fuck my graphics card won’t support 1920×1200 resolution even though the spec says it should. Then I’d head to where the ATI software engineers live (1994) and ask them for a DOS boot disk and a floppy drive so that I can run their BIOS flashing exe.

39 Responses to “A Small Selection Of People Who Wish They’d Thought Of Using The Word “Chimera” But Didn’t”

  1. on 27 Mar 2008 at 4:37 pm fucko the clown

    I love slippery slopes myself, specially the ones that lead to fanny cracks….

    (n.b. not if the fanny looks like a hippos yawn)

  2. on 27 Mar 2008 at 4:47 pm philbert

    “The sneering attitude of Winston, Harris et al belies a sinister contempt”.

    I completely agree. The time has come for people to be openly and honestly contemptuous of these drooling simpletons, not to hide their contempt but to let it run wild and free!

  3. on 27 Mar 2008 at 5:27 pm fucko the clown

    without hybrid embryo research, how will wales ever develope the five fannied sheep? we all know thats what dolly was created for

  4. on 27 Mar 2008 at 6:56 pm Graham

    Given Churchill’s enthusiastic support for the eugenics he would probably have loved the idea.

  5. on 27 Mar 2008 at 7:05 pm Ros

    Don’t you just hate people who bring in the Nazis into discussing any idea that they oppose!?

    :rollseyes:

  6. on 27 Mar 2008 at 7:43 pm NewsisGood

    “Don’t you just hate people who bring in the Nazis into discussing any idea that they oppose!?”

    That’s exactly what the Nazis said…

  7. on 27 Mar 2008 at 7:51 pm domino

    “I don’t think most people would even think of eating their pet’s food”

    IIRC, pet food has to be fit for human consumption. I may be making that up though because I have the munchies.

  8. on 27 Mar 2008 at 8:33 pm Shallot

    Oh god! Hybirds! What are they, some kind of sinister human-bird crossbreed? They sound unfamiliar. Science is involved. THEY’LL KILL US ALL!!

    What do you mean, I read too much science fiction? You’re with them, aren’t you? You can’t fool me.

  9. on 27 Mar 2008 at 9:47 pm cycloon

    What do you mean? Cutting bodies up for study? You’ll be telling me that it’s for good, not for putting demons in them and ruining God’s work next!

    c. 1500 ad

  10. on 27 Mar 2008 at 10:53 pm arsebanana

    I’m all in favour of this legislation if it means I can have a donkey knob transplant on the nhs.

  11. on 28 Mar 2008 at 2:33 am pencilmonitor

    “I don’t think most people would even think of eating their pet’s food”

    Feckin’ cats eat MY food - fair’s fair an’ all

    >>Restart from Go

  12. on 28 Mar 2008 at 4:34 am The Gnome Secretary

    If I could go back in time, I’d ask Florence Nightingale why the fuck my graphics card won’t support 1920×1200 resolution even though the spec says it should.

    I tried that, she said:

    sudo dpkg-reconfigure xserver-xorg and if that doesn’t work, give us a copy of yer xorg.0.log and I’ll have a gander at it, you tart.

  13. on 28 Mar 2008 at 5:13 am awesom-o-4000

    The cost to the human soul of eternal youth would be having to listen to asshats lice NC and Angelica for all eternity.

    That’s quite a price.

  14. on 28 Mar 2008 at 5:14 am awesom-o-4000

    While that should have read ‘like NC…’, I can’t help but feel that ‘lice’ may have been a Freudian fuck-up.

  15. on 28 Mar 2008 at 10:32 am Padwick

    There is a void of intelligence. Maybe these people are worried about admix embryos because they’ll be the fuckers made extinct.

  16. on 28 Mar 2008 at 11:26 am Nelson

    sudo dpkg-reconfigure xserver-xorg and if that doesn’t work, give us a copy of yer xorg.0.log and I’ll have a gander at it, you tart.

    And I’d say “Come off it Florence, who the fuck uses Debian-based distros for desktop stuff? You think I’m some kind of beardy real-ale computer hippy?? Bitch”.

    Trying to get it working under Windoze XP :/

  17. on 28 Mar 2008 at 11:53 am Oliver

    1. Nelson et al - Geek based humour - enough already. Please. Stick to Slug Slots, they are far funnier.

    2. These HYSers probably dont even know why their microwave works, so understanding the scientific complexities of embryo research really is way beyond them. I will admit, the thought of it freaks me out a bit, but seeing as I know fuck all about it, I ain’t about to lose any sleep worrying if my kids will grow up and exterminate all ‘naturally conceived’ humans or if geneticaly modified rodents will take over the planet.

  18. on 28 Mar 2008 at 11:59 am ShaunCG

    More of ALL humour sez I.

    Erm, tiger tadge, or something.

  19. on 28 Mar 2008 at 12:32 pm Danny Dyer

    Oliver, why don’t ya mug off? Ya mingey cunt ya.

  20. on 28 Mar 2008 at 4:57 pm Mr Cat

    Does anyone here know why a miccrowave works?

    Can they tell me?

    I know its something to do with electricity and fire.

  21. on 28 Mar 2008 at 6:25 pm James

    A microwave oven emits electromagnetic waves at the resonant frequency of water. This causes the water in any food inside the microwave to gain energy and vibrate, heating the food. Also to make your children ADHD and fry your gonads and make you have made-up conditions like “radio hypersensitivity” which is another way of saying “believes any old shit the Express says.”

  22. on 28 Mar 2008 at 6:37 pm Nelson

    I seem to remember reading once that the particular resonant frequency of water that it matches is the rotational one. I thought that was quite cute… all spinning round making the water otter. Might be bollocks though. Can’t remember where I heard it. Probably from a bloke in the pub.

  23. on 28 Mar 2008 at 8:36 pm Nigel M.

    Wouldn’t it be great to go back in time and try to convince Winston Churchill that you’ve traveled back in time to ask what he thinks about embryo hybrids? I’m sure everyone in 1946 would believe you because it’s such a sensible thing to do.

  24. on 28 Mar 2008 at 9:41 pm arsebanana

    I’d want to ask Churchill what colour I should paint the bathroom. And whether to carry out a suicidal naval assault on the dardanelles.

  25. on 29 Mar 2008 at 9:45 am Alex

    I have to say I support this hybrid embryo thing 100% considering how awesome the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were.

  26. on 29 Mar 2008 at 3:16 pm Paul C

    I don’t think most people would even think of eating their pet’s food, yet this bill suggests mixing genetic material of animals and human beings.

    Perhaps we should replace it with a bill that suggests eating pet food - but would it make her happy? It would make me happy. I fucking love pedigree chum.

  27. on 29 Mar 2008 at 3:17 pm Paul C

    Sorry, that last line should read “I love fucking pedigree chum”. The revised bill should suggest mixing genetic material of human beings with pet food.

  28. on 29 Mar 2008 at 7:44 pm Dorian

    “Imagine the year 1946 WW2 is over The horrors of Hitler’s death camps have been exposed for all the world to see The SS will be tried for crimes against humanity Hitler’s dream of a super race was defeated…”

    ….And then, just to ruin everything, some pompous twat from the future turns up and starts gibbering on about immortal hybrid embryos that feed on young children and welfare benefits. Shit.

  29. on 30 Mar 2008 at 6:35 am Florence Nightingale

    And I’d say “Come off it Florence, who the fuck uses Debian-based distros for desktop stuff? You think I’m some kind of beardy real-ale computer hippy?? Bitch”.

    Fuck you hippy, I’m dead and let me tell you: Heaven runs on Ubuntu.

    In fact, and God is fuckin’ chuffed about this, Ubuntu is now more popular than Jesus.

  30. on 30 Mar 2008 at 6:47 am God

    Florence is right, Windows XP is bollocks.

  31. on 30 Mar 2008 at 8:51 am Jesus

    Y’all need to chill the fuck out. In My Father’s hard drive there are many partitions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to install an operating system for you.

  32. on 30 Mar 2008 at 6:35 pm Alex

    If I had a time machine, I think I would ask Hitler’s advice rather than Churchill’s. You see if Hitler had thrown in a few bits about time-travellers from the future who asked him whether we should splice together man and gerbil, I don’t think he’d have got so far.

  33. on 30 Mar 2008 at 6:53 pm James

    I seem to remember reading once that the particular resonant frequency of water that it matches is the rotational one. I thought that was quite cute… all spinning round making the water otter. Might be bollocks though. Can’t remember where I heard it. Probably from a bloke in the pub.

    My favourite factoid about microwave ovens is that they spew off quite a lot of junk emissions in the 2.4GHz band, thereby giving the lie to all these people who claim wireless internet makes them sick. If it genuinely did, they’d be puking their guts up every time anyone within wireless range microwaved some turket twizzlers for the kids.

  34. on 30 Mar 2008 at 7:21 pm Alex

    On the subject, you know otters really like grapes?

  35. on 31 Mar 2008 at 4:18 am God

    In My Father’s hard drive there are many partitions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to install an operating system for you.

    This is true my son. However, there’s a reason the partition with Windows XP on is labelled: ‘Elephant_scrote’. As for Vista, not even my hard drive is big enough for that.

    I was chatting with Lucifer on MSN (I use Pidgin you seen) the other day. Apparently even he’s not a big enough cunt to inflict Vista on the people being punished in Hell.

  36. on 31 Mar 2008 at 7:46 am beakdown fury

    now all we need is some boring fucking cunt to turn up and start trying to convince us to use macs, and you’ll have brilliantly recreated the spirit of the tedium of the internet.

    you’ve got some maize snack crumbs in your shit neck beard.

  37. on 31 Mar 2008 at 11:58 am A dezine person

    PCs r bad becuz they r made by nasty pepl in suits but macs are nice becuz they r made by hippies in america and they make ipods too n thats rely cool.

  38. on 31 Mar 2008 at 1:33 pm papple

    init?

  39. on 31 Mar 2008 at 5:04 pm Girliee

    Dear “angelica adams, cambrdige.” It’s most commonly known as a full stop. You use it between sentences, so people don’t have to assess the context of each capital letter as it occurs in your writing.

    Oh, and I think cambrdige is supposed to be Cambridge. I live there too, but in the UK.

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