spEak You're bRanes

I edited this one down because the rest of it is just poor confused Ron explaining to us how, unlike everyone else in the world, Palestinians want their children to grow up in a war zone.

In America we use Satarday morning cartoons to teach reading, writing, diversity, tolerance, and civic reposability [...]
Ronald Dubbs, Florida, United States

That’s good to know. I find it easy to take the piss out of people like you and assume that your entire education consisted of reading cereal packets. I guess I’d do well to put my cynicism aside for a moment and remember that you’ve also seen countless episodes of Sesame Street.

Thanks to Joe for this one from the “Are white working class people ignored in Britain?” thread. They may as well have written “Did your crop fail this year? Did you know the old woman on the hill is a bit different to you and has a strange pimple? Do you think she cursed the crop? BURN THE WITCH”.

I took my son the the Whitechaple dental hospital a while ago. Sitting in the waiting room, I noted we were the only White faces out of about 30-40 people. My first thought was..so this is why it takes so long for working, taxpaying indigenous people to get treatment. My son leaned over to me and in a hushed voice said “Dad, we are still in England, aren’t we?”
No son, I said. Not any more.
Made in England, England

Teachers aren’t allowed to call a black board black any more. Need I say more about who controls this country?
Not Black, I’m white

Is it Andi Peters?

From “Should UK adopt aspects of Sharia Law?” and “How should we teach children to read?”

As if people were not resentful enough of the continuing attack on our heritage / culture / values, here comes another left-wing liberal traitor spouting counter-productive new age bilge about multiculturalism and social cohesion.

The bottom line is this; if all the left wing traitorous drips stopped being offended on other peoples behalf, stopped forcing us to tread on egg-shells around minorities, and basically just SHUT UP, then maybe we’d all get along a little better!!
L Evans, Birmingham, United Kingdom

How do people end up being this stupid?

In years gone by, there was little entertainment so it was easy to get drawn into books.

Today there’s any number of consoles/games/chatrooms available to kids; why would they be interested in Books or reading??

Face it, reading is boring.
L Evans, Birmingham, United Kingdom

Ah.

Thanks to Angel for a genuine IYLISMYDYGLT.

“but Cuba has a better health service than we do so not all bad !”

So go and live there
Anon

How the fuck do these people manage to give a hornet’s cock about this crap? I expect they spend their lives on a hair-trigger, ready to defend the realm against the treasonous suggestion that Barbados has better weather than Skeggy.

Thanks to Chloe for this one. L A Odicean is responsible for a couple of other of my favourite works of understated comedy genius.

Too much healthy food is causing children to be taller than they used to be. It was once very uncommon to see a 6ft tall 11 year old, but now they are two-a-penny. On the one hand healthy food is a good thing, preventing rickets and such, but on the other an 11 year old boy/man with testosterone levels way in advance of his general knowledge (in particular biological), is not to be taken lightly. Certainly modern eating habits have a lot to answer for. Let’s have fewer vitamins and protein.
L A Odicean, London

What if these gigantic children get angry? Confused and unaware of their own awesome power, they might pick up the town mayor and bang him on the wall! Then where would we be?

Quite simple really, anyone in favour of drinking all hours needs to do a minimum of a week with the police patrols who have to deal with the drunken mayhem that happens as a result of the unrestrained drinking and only after that can they lend their support to 24 hours drinking.

Usual hand wringing liberal tosh, “freedom this and freedom that” while living in nice safe middle class areas and nowhere near the mess this policy creates.
Chumpy, London

YES! What we need is less freedom and a more authoritarian nanny state telling us when we can drink! No, hang on, what we need is LESS nanny state! So 24 hour drinking must be good! Damn. Hang on… right, yeah, we need a more liberal government who let everybody live their own way and don’t impose their beardy human rights on the rest of us. No, wait, I’ll get it in a minute… erm, we need a LESS liberal government because my Sky+ box told me that liberals are bad. WAIT! I GOT IT. We need to impose MY views on everybody because I’m a zebra’s cunt.

Can Turkey re-interpret Islam?

FYI:
THE BBC TICKER CAN NO LONGER BE INSTALLED for some strange reason on this Win XP eMachine
[hmsggblokey]

This particular message was obviously intended for (left-wing revolutionary) Kirsty Wark cos she’s a demon with an eMachine. She empties the electricity out and then bangs on it with her shoe until it works again.

This is just silly American media/politics. Nader has a snowballs chance of being elected. He does this for publicity or someone pays him to help split the vote. However, he never really gets many votes. The guys not a stupid man, and he is an advocate for state side economy and the middle income family. He is clue-less about international issues though- much like Obama.
Dixon Duval, NM, United States

If you want a president who has the first fucking clue about anything outside their own back yard, you’re going to have to stop electing Americans.

Let’s have a look at Dixon’s own insightful comments on foreign affairs.

One important reason Chavez has close ties with Castro in Cuba is to draw from his experience as dictator of a country. This is a clear as it can get without open admission. In the short run he will deliver some positive benefits to the poor in his country, however, it’s an error in the long run that can’t be corrected until after his death. Chavez is emotionally immature and his rule is scary.
[fasthike], NM, United States

I expect he banned Dixon’s favourite flavour of ice-cream or something.