Grief Athletes and Miscellaneous Prats07 Apr 2008 12:29 pm
By Nelson
Heston died.
A versatile actor synonymous with epic movies such as the Ten Commandments, Ben Hur, El Cid and the Agony and the Ecstacy , but also with films such as Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green, The Omega Man, Airport 1975 and Earthquake. Not to mention latter roles in Treasure Island and as Henry VIII in a Man for All Seasons. A supporter of Civil Rights and rather questionably, gun ownership, he was no doubt a passionate individual who will be sorely missed by film fans around the world.
Joe Richardson, Biggleswade
Well done Joe. You’ve now discharged your duties for the day and can go back to bed.
What is this so-called “Joe” “Richardson” doing?
“Will write newspaper obits for food”?
Speaking as someone who works for TV magazines, our mailbox is generally full of this sort of shite. A huge proportion of the letters we get follow his “brief summary of whatever the hell we’re talking about followed by ‘well done ITV!’ or ‘I’m hoping to see more!’ Basically they’re tedious cunts with nothing to say fishing for an easy tenner. Although since HYS doesn’t actually pay I can only assume they’re treating it as an audition to take Jeremy Kyle’s slot when he finally wakes up to discover that he’s been hanged from a lamp-post and set on fire during the night.
That thoroughly scared me, seeing my name in big letters like that.
I bet with half an hour and some serious thinking I could write the Obit-o-matic Firefox plugin. Hover over a famous person’s name and it scrapes Wikipedia and the IMDB for a summary, tacks “A truly [inspirational|great|beloved|unique|monumental] talent has been lost to us all.”
I’m too damn lazy to actually do it, mind.
shirley joe has already done it? That “but also with films such as” seems particularly computer generated
Whoa. You’re twistin’ me melon, man. I’ve got a mate called Joe Shirley. How spooky is that?