Permanently Bewildered and Slow Readers and The Regular Twats15 Apr 2008 10:54 am
By Nelson

Haven’t posted any of Lorna Pope’s astounding stupidity for ages. It seems that a small pool of saliva has shorted her capslock key again.

“Are smaller schools better?”

WOULDN,T SMALLER SCHOOLS MEAN LESS TEACHERS WITCH WOULD MEAN MORE CHANCE OF THE KIDS RUNNING RIOT.
lorna pope, WIRRAL, United Kingdom

I guess so. There’s pros as well as cons though. Let’s weigh them up:

Pros

  • Smaller riots
  • Smaller windows - less risk of broken glass
  • Smaller playground - less likely to end up as a Tesco
  • Tiny roof tiles - much cheaper than normal size roof tiles
  • Very small doors - keeps out all but the tiniest paedos

Cons

  • Less dinner lady - sometimes only half a leg
  • Tiny exercise books much harder to mark
  • Whilst paedo attack risk is lessened, any successful attacks are extremely dangerous as the paedo is able to abduct large numbers of children in a single handful
  • Children grow fast - classrooms quickly buckle as they expand
  • Extremely difficult knitting tiny teatowels for nativity play

16 Responses to “Stupid Witch”

  1. on 15 Apr 2008 at 10:58 am milt

    Has anyone considered the taller kids? Where will they go? Will they have special schools that cater for their disability? It’s this sort of thinking that creates a segratative society. Look at Peter Crouch. Is he a freak? Does he deserve to go through the humiliation of going to a school where the doors are only three foot tall? He’s a hero, and he wouldn’t even be able to sit at a desk. This is liberal lunacy gone mad.

  2. on 15 Apr 2008 at 11:48 am John Fig Chandra

    “Less dinner lady - sometimes only half a leg”

    At least you’d be able to get away if she fell asleep on you…

  3. on 15 Apr 2008 at 12:05 pm Nelson

    Who the fuck are you? :)

  4. on 15 Apr 2008 at 12:08 pm Big Jamesie

    And having smaller schools will stop brown immigrants getting in, because their turbans and black backpacks won’t fit in the door.

  5. on 15 Apr 2008 at 12:42 pm milt

    Backpacks which have bombs in them, probably. Fix it, Brown, it’s why we elected you.

  6. on 15 Apr 2008 at 12:47 pm huck

    dear lorna,

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/proportion

    yours,
    h.

  7. on 15 Apr 2008 at 2:06 pm censored

    Dear Lorna,

    http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fewer

    yours,
    censored

  8. on 15 Apr 2008 at 2:22 pm Mark

    It’s terrifying how a quick googling of Lorna pope brings up her email address and reveals that she is involved with the cub scouts and therefore must be A PEEDOLFYALL!!!

  9. on 15 Apr 2008 at 2:31 pm Jake the Rat

    She can file my pedals if she likes, I’ve got some right nasty old veruccas that need seeing to.

  10. on 15 Apr 2008 at 2:44 pm Nelson

    I actually had to remove some links or sommat from a post before where some internet “sleuth” was trying to track down one of the HYS posters (he thought he’d found out where someone worked and he may have been right, which is more than I can say for Mark’s dubious googling skills).

    Please don’t be a tragic cunt.

  11. on 15 Apr 2008 at 2:45 pm Mr Cat

    I like the very first google entry you get on a Lorna Pope search:

    “IF WE SPENT MORE TIME ON FIGHTING CRIME AND LESS TIME ON WHO HAS TAKEN MORE FISH THEN ,MAYBE PEPOLE WOULD BE ABLE TO WALK THE STREETS AT NIGHT WITHOUT HAVING TO LOOK OVER THERE SHOLDER ALL THE TIME, AND OLD PEOPLE COULD LIVE IN THERE HOMES WITH OUT FEAR ON BEING BROKEN INTO.” LORNA POPE, WIRRAL, United Kingdom

  12. on 15 Apr 2008 at 3:06 pm huck

    “Please don’t be a tragic cunt.”

    the underlying message of the site, surely

  13. on 15 Apr 2008 at 4:15 pm Mr Blackett

    She underestimates the power of a Teacher’s Witch. Seriously, they’re fucking mint. Any kids play up *KERBLAMMO!* the little cunts are frogs.

  14. on 15 Apr 2008 at 7:54 pm Matsufubu

    When was the last time that an old person was broken into?

  15. on 16 Apr 2008 at 10:34 am LongJohns

    She should realise that it’s a good thing. Smaller classes mean the children will get more attention from the teacher and grow up not a thick cunt like her. She obviously was homeschooled by the family cat and Tizwaz, that’s why her grasp of spelling, punctuation and grammar is so slender.

  16. on 16 Apr 2008 at 3:17 pm Scaryduck

    Good for Lorna, using all the BIG CAPITAL LETTERS on HYS, leaving loads of tiny, small letters left over for the kids in these miniature schools.

    If only the rest of us could practice what we preach.