Thanks to Chris for finding this chap. I particularly enjoyed this one from the debate on smacking.
I had a dream last night.
My son was chewing an electrical cable, I decided not to smack him, but told him off in a very forceful manner.
HE’S DEAD NOW!
[spanner345]
You’ve certainly made me think twice about whatever the fuck it is you’re trying to say.
Though I think my favourite is this one from “Should we encourage outdoor play?”
As most sex offenders are close family members, the safest place for a child is outdoors, playing away from the family.
This sounds totally crazy, but it is sadly, probably true.
Get the kids outside climbing trees e.t.c., it’s good for ‘em.
[spanner345]
Whilst it’s good to hear someone taking a stand over this, you should bear in mind that over 60% of paedo-fiddlings actually occur up or near a tree. Also, it enables paedos with gas-bombs to just gas-bomb the tree and then wait for the children to fall out into a blanket, like so many monkeys. THINK BEFORE YOU POST.
22 Responses to “Treepaedo”
‘As most sex offenders are close family members, the safest place for a child is outdoors, playing away from the family.’
so say the voice of experience?
e.t.c. = even if they cry
The more you read that first picture, the madder it becomes. It’s like a magic eye picture.
And by picture (the first time), I mean post. And by post I mean the one quoted by Nelson, not the comment on here.
Look—just forget it.
In a weird recursive way, you’ve actually created the thing you were attempting to describe.
Wait wait wait…
Is the first poster’s child dead in real life or in his dreamworld? Is he some kind of Krueger-esque being with the ability to travel into his child’s dream and watch it die?
If so where can i get a piece of that action?
Sheds a new light on ‘family trees’.
There you go again shooting the lad down without actually THINKING about whathe is saying. It is a MEDICALLY
Now look what happens - I try to be a HYS superstar and I get all confused between the caps lock and the tab key. It’s hharder than it looks I tells yer.
I think I understand this.
His son died from chewing an electric cable so he favours getting the kids outside - away from danger.
When he says “its good for em” he probably means “better than what happened to my son because there’s no electric cables in trees”
Name dropping subjects like paeodophilia and smacking children was probably just to get the HYS moderators to approve it.
His sons death has also probably caused him to hit the bottle pretty hard if this post/cry for help is anything to go by:
“I drink, sometimes, two bottles of red wine in one session.
I do it at home, I do not cause fights, urinate on passers by, drink drive, or generally cause any bother to anyone else.
LEAVE ME ALONE.”
I had a dream last night too. I was driving my sportscar on some lovely empty winding roads when suddenly I realised something was wrong with the gearchange. I looked down and realised I was actually driving a giant jam tart. What do you say to THAT, spanner345?
Quite right too. If you don’t punish children for what you dream they do, who knows what undisciplined dreams they will end up in. EVEN PEADOE’S!
This guy is clearly a comedy genius and becomes twenty points.
Better still, smack children so hard that they end up in a tree. They’d be the safest kid in the world
Although if the child were a boy, some evil paedo-squirrel might want a taste of his nuts. Is there no escape from the Paedoph-Isles?!?!?
His child died chewing an electrical cable as he was using it as a gagg while he bummed him. He wants them in trees because it’d be too hard to bum kids in trees.
Next time you see some one with a broken arm or leg, ask the question..
Mr Cat says: When he says “its good for em” he probably means “better than what happened to my son because there’s no electric cables in trees”.
What about Christmas trees?
Fool.
The fool! Has he not heard of the ‘Benny Tied to a Tree’ Paradox? They’re everywhere, people!
“I believe pregnancy is not a sickness”
“I do not cause fights, urinate on passers by, drink drive, or generally cause any bother to anyone else.”
I laughed for about twenty minutes over that. In fact, I’ve only just got the strength back to type. Am I missing some brilliant new drunken trend or do people not usually “urinate on passers by”?
I am convinced he is a comedy genius rather than a semi demented sad lonely old spanner sitting frantically typing his wisdom, pausing only to wipe the occasional flecks of spittle from the screen.
Especially after reading this post from him:
“Since Gordon Brown came to rule us, Hull has been hit by floods and now an earthquake.
Is this just coincidence?”
Comedy Gold.
I was once fiddled with by a close family member whilst chewing on a telegraph wire sitting in a tree.
When my father found out he smacked my uncle hard and spoke to me forcefully.
My fathers dead now! How spooky.
i’m with Area Trace No Search.
“I had a drug fuelled student life.
I also don’t know my ar$e from my elbow.
Can I be the next Home Secretary?”
facking brilliant