Thanks to Angel. This is from a thread about age gaps in relationships.
“At the age of 78 former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl is to marry his girlfriend Maike Richter, who is 35 years his junior.”
My father is 77 and I am 44. I can’t imagine the attraction other than money.
Julie P, Atlanta, United States
You do realise that you’ll probably inherit it all even if you stop sleeping with him?
That thread is almost entirely populated with two responses (”she’s after his money” and “it’s a private matter”), so the occasional departures really stand out. Rodney Trotter is ploughing his own, slightly wonky, furrow.
It isn’t a question of age, but whether they have a similar outlook on life, aspirations, humour, and of course, love. Two adults with alot in common will always gravitate towards each other, regardless of age.
Anybody on the other hand, who wants to have a relationship with a child, ought to be exterminated.
Rodney Trotter, New York-Paris-Peckham
It works best if you imagine Rodney pausing after his first paragraph and gazing into the distance, a slight smile playing on his lips. He’s remembering a past love: the thrill of the chase, picnics in the park, laughter, the way his eyes would linger on hers until that summer dress lures his gaze down, between her breasts… then he thinks about paedophiles and the best way to murder them.
14 Responses to “Age Gap”
Rodney is David Caruso?
I love the notion that Rodney’s attention is always being drawn back to those damn kiddy-fiddlers. I can imagine him chatting to the postman: “Lovely day, Mr Trotter!” “Isn’t it, postie! The sun’s shining, there’s not a breath of wind, and the scent of honeysuckle is in the air. Mind you, anyone who wanted to take advantage of such weather by luring a child into a coppice, tying them to a tree and forcing them to perform unspeakable trouser acts, why I’d have no hesitation in burning their bollocks to raisins with a bucket of lye. Oh I see you’re backing away nervously. You must be busy. Cheerio!”
yeah Helmut (snigger) kohl is nailing someone 35yrs his junior, just think if he had done that when he was 36 he would be shagging a new born, therefor he is a peado and we should burn him (well after the water test of course, if he floats in water, he is made of wood and therefor a peado, but if he drowns then he is not made of wood and not a peado, python rules)
My dad had a relationship with a child. I was a child and he was my dad. Best relationship I’ve ever had. He bought me a Commodore Amiga once. He’s fucking class.
Notice how no-one ever starts a comment with “speaking as a paedophile myself…”? I wonder why that is.
Because it’s a bloody difficult word to spell.
Speaking as a paedophile myself, I enjoy the welcoming scent of Glade Plug Ins.
Only joshing Scotland Yard, please don’t send the SWAT Team in again.
what happened to the HYS poster who went on about ‘medically dry’, maybe Helmut is?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You mentioned breasts and summer dresses, which absolutely got my attention. I’m gonna have to cut this short and say this: he’s 78?
He’s poking a 43 year-old? Doesn’t he have the financial wherewithal for 21 year olds?
Julias father is probably her grandad anyway.
“Ahhhh, another lovely day on Have Your Say. Published nice, tolerant, lovey-dovey comment on how nice loves, doves and tolerance are, I’ll just read it through again, to make sure I’ve got all my bases covered”
[Trotter bends over his computer monitor, scrutinising every word]
“Aha, there’s a misplaced apostrophe, can’t have any of those and OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO RULE OUT CHILD MOLESTATION!”
[Trotter begins to shake uncontrollably]
“What if…what if…what if someone reads it, and fails to assume that by “two adults with a lot in common” I mean “two adults”? They’ll assume I’m advocating child-rape, or worse still, that I’m a Muslim!”
[Trotter begins to breathe slowly and deeply]
“Calm down Trotter, calm down. It’s not too late. You can do this. You haven’t pressed ‘add your comment’ yet, just go back to the text-box and re-word your post a bit. Maybe add a friendly caveat on how this naturally doesn’t extend to paedoph… to paedoph… to paedo… paedo…paedo…pae…p…p…rrrrrrRRRAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!
[A horrific process of metamorphosis begins]
“Exterminate! Exterminate!”
Most of the overage men I’ve been with have had bugger all money.
The brighter politicians show the way. Young women should be reserved for older men. Thry are wasted on the young wipper snappers
If you wait for a few years you will see the wisdom in this.
I’m more worried that Rodney Trotter’s solution to child molesters is to set the Daleks on them.