Unfocused Rage28 Apr 2008 12:47 pm
By Nelson

Thanks to James for this one from Sky News about the Austrian father who kept his daughter captive. I can’t really improve on James’s comment: “Obviously SR has seen the pictures of his house and considers some DIY in order

To PAUL FROM HERTFORDSHIRE, i would be first in line with a house brick in one hand & a pair of pliers in the other.
SR, Stoke-on-Trent

21 Responses to “DiY”

  1. on 28 Apr 2008 at 2:24 pm Alex

    Just had this experience: out canvassing for the LibDems, I was speaking to a Perfectly Ordinary Lass when some turdwit with eyes too far apart and a Ralph Lauren harrington leapt out from behind a dead caravan. “Im votin BNPeeh!”

    No you’re not, I thought; they haven’t put up a candidate…

  2. on 28 Apr 2008 at 2:34 pm Pruke of Dunes

    Touching stuff. Imagine the lengths he would go to, vis-a-vis home improvements, for the average law abiding citizen, or the elderly and decrepit. Ladders, paint brushes, power tools…..

  3. on 28 Apr 2008 at 2:56 pm Big Jamesie

    Perhaps we have found a use for the hoardes of unrelenting cretins who inhabit HYS and its ilk - force them to do odd jobs around the houses of 70 year old peados.

  4. on 28 Apr 2008 at 3:23 pm Mr Cat

    I’m intrigued as to what “PAUL FROM HERTFORDSHIRE” wrote. Perhaps it was a Blue Peter type appeal for housing materials in Austria to help build basement dungeons. They seem to be all the rage over there.

  5. on 28 Apr 2008 at 3:40 pm Han

    Oh Jesus. I live in Stoke-on-Trent. I work in an off-licence in one of the worse areas of the city so changes are this guy is one of my regular zeppelin cider guzzling customers. That or, y’know, my boss.

  6. on 28 Apr 2008 at 3:41 pm Han

    And obviously changes should be chances.

  7. on 28 Apr 2008 at 3:49 pm James

    He’s obviously just going to humanely do his bit for those poor genetic anomalies spewed forth from all that incest. I applaud him for doing the difficult but right thing for the sake of our childrens’ genetic inheritance. The fact that it sates his boner-led desire to smear his face with human blood and masturbate with their internal organs is just a fortuitous happenstance.

    Or is it just me who assumes anyone who advocates hilariously brutal punishment for paedophiles is actually just glomming onto the nearest defensible cause for their barely-repressed bloodlust?

  8. on 28 Apr 2008 at 4:12 pm Pruke of Dunes

    Oh, you read it that way? You think he was going to use the houes brick and pliers to beat a confession? Or worse….

    Jack Bauer: Dammit Chloe, bring me the electric glue gun! And some no 4 wet and dry.

  9. on 28 Apr 2008 at 4:20 pm Jamie

    And next time on ‘Paedo Houses’… we’ll be tiling Ian Huntley’s bathroom, revisiting the swirly-face man’s house to see how his ’special’ shed turned out, and giving you the best tips on how to get that spraypaint off your door.

  10. on 28 Apr 2008 at 4:48 pm James

    Oh, you read it that way? You think he was going to use the houes brick and pliers to beat a confession?

    Nope. I assumed he was going to use a patio and the brick to make an abomination skull sandwich. BANG! AND THE SHAME IS GONE!

  11. on 28 Apr 2008 at 4:54 pm arsebanana

    Why is it so hard to say anything about this story without concluding “now shut up and get back in ze cellar”?

  12. on 28 Apr 2008 at 6:47 pm Monty

    I like this one from the same Sky forum:

    “The story of Cellar Father to Appear in Court is shocking news. The person who committed such crime he should be punished to death several time. His is most horrible crime; my sympathy is with the girl who became victim in the hand of animal.
    Posted by Shahnaz from london”

    So that’s what they mean by a fate worse than death!

  13. on 28 Apr 2008 at 7:20 pm Scaryduck

    You know what’s going to happen - he’s going to get some Austrian judge with hidden desires and he’ll be free to walk the streets enticing decent British folk into cellars - JUST LIKE ADOLF HITLER.

  14. on 29 Apr 2008 at 7:13 am Big Jamesie

    You ought to know by now that HYS readers are not scared by Adolf Hitler, indeed although they admit he did some bad things, he did make the trains run on time, and he was a talented painter. And when they come to think of it, some of his ideas on Eugenics, homosexuals and the like weren’t that bad after all. And then they feel obliged to say that they, and every one of their 23 friends, will be voting BNP.

  15. on 29 Apr 2008 at 7:30 am Mr Pedantic

    “And some no 4 wet and dry”.

    That’s wet OR dry.

  16. on 29 Apr 2008 at 9:17 am James

    The big problem with Hitler is that he was a vegetarian. Is there a more obvious sign that he was obviously a lefty liberal, hell-bent on suffocating the working man with layer upon layer of political correctness gone mad?

  17. on 29 Apr 2008 at 11:43 am sir jon dangerous

    Presumably PAUL FROM HERTFORDSHIRE proposed a gathering of fuckwits holding articles more intelligent than they are.

  18. on 29 Apr 2008 at 2:25 pm James

    i would be first in line with a house brick in one hand & a pair of pliers in the other.

    No you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t because it would involve leaving your beloved GREAT Britain for somewhere other than the Costa del Sol.

  19. on 29 Apr 2008 at 4:05 pm fogbat

    Say what you like about Fred West, he laid a beautiful patio.

  20. on 30 Apr 2008 at 10:20 pm simply wondered

    ‘victim in the hand of animal’ - this prompted thoughts of some weird glove puppet abomination. it’s probably just me, though.

    and if he came round to my house with a brick and a pair of pliers i’d be worried about his ideas on diy.

  21. on 04 Jul 2008 at 8:40 pm James (different James)

    Say what you like about Fred West, he laid a beautiful patio.

    All those decomposing bodies and not a sign of subsidence. Incredible.

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