spEak You’re bRanes

Thanks to Mark. This is from an article about people who really care about the Diana inquest.

British eccentrics at their best. We need (not quite clinically - possibly) mad people like this to keep the rest of us with smiles on our faces. Obviously, if they are (clinically) mad, then we shouldn’t laugh.
Mike Tomlinson, Salisbury

This is something I’ve had to wrestle with since the moment I created this blog. I thought about it long and hard. Then I examined my conscience. Then I thought “fuck it”.

Thanks to some chap who sent me this.

the world is heading four a world food crisis.yes it is. was the world ment to be tar macked over no. and cemented over no. we are sufacatin the earth. the earth is ment to breath.earth is a living thing. just like humans. this is wy we will have a world food crises.. but will leaders of the world listen no. only whene its to late.are wee listening to the ads epedemic no. you only have to open your eyes to see this. mans ignarence will be his down fall.
victor stevens, foxton.cambridge

do victor’s hooves hinder his typing. yes they do. should victor have huffed all that scotchgard this morning no.

“Millions are families are hit by higher taxes from a wasteful Labour government and now we have Brown pledging to spend a further 200 million pound on Africa. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO PUTTING UK first?”

Steve Tea - Cheshire

It was actually £100 million, but you’re right Steve, trying to save the lives of brown people you’ve never even met, who live in far away Bongo Bongo land is a shit idea. My weekend’s fucked without the £1.60 this reckless government initiative has personally cost me. I was hoping to have a posh wank tonight, but now it’ll have to be a straight up and downer.

This from our man in the sticks on the question “Is the world facing a food crisis?”:

Of course, and plans to use arable land for the production of ‘bio-fuels’ is only going to make this worse.

We in Britain are going to be particularly vunerable as we have decimated our farms, and the continued influx of immigrants increases the pressure on all resources.

David Smith, Scunthorpe

Wise words David, it’s cause and effect. Just yesterday my super market had run out of sun dried tomatoes and then I saw four black people and two Indian looking people at the check out. What other conclusion could I possibly reach?

You’re asking if Mohamed Al Fayed has made the right decision? Then the answer is YES and NO!

YES because he as well as the rest of the world knows that despite the royals being behing their deaths, (which I also believe is the truth), nothing can be done despite his efforts for trying really very hard to get to the truth.

NO because he is not getting any justice for what has happened. All these years he’s spent on the case for what? Nothing?! Rediculous if you ask me.

Money is power

Shivjit Singh Sandhu, Surrey, BC, Canada

Twas ever thus Shivjit. Fear not though, the revolution is coming. How many more times can we, the people, stand by and see a poor, mad, underdog humiliated and then left, destitute, with nothing to comfort him but billions of pounds?

It was a tragic end to a wide spoken romance. Anyway now Diana is dead. No matter who is responsible for the death, the world has lost a lady who had a sympathetic heart for the poor. She would be always remembered by millions of her loved ones.

According to Buddhism if someone has done something wrong he or she has to face the repercusions of it. So we should not worry by thinking that the law did not punish the culprits. Whoever they are they will get what they deserve in time to come.
Sarath Fernando, Colombo

Sarath is coming back as a yeast infection.

Thanks to Rick for finding this one in the Brighton and Hove Argus.

I see it was plugged how many TV viewers watched EastEnders just because Ricky and Bianca returned to the soap (The Argus, April 3).

Ten million doesn’t seem that many when it used to have 15 to 20 million watching.

If viewers were true fans they should be watching EastEnders whether Ricky or Bianca were coming back or not.
C Meeten, Gordon Road

Totally. How must Phil Mitchell feel when he discovers that people are more interested in Ricky than in him? Like a poor sad potato, that’s how. We owe it to the completely imaginary folk of Albert Square to keep absorbing their poorly written lives until our souls have withered, music no longer moves us and watching “Saturday Night Takeaway With Ant and Dec” seems like a sensible way to spend an evening.

Thanks to Karen for finding this one in a Times Online article about a baby born with two faces.

If she does end up being viable then this opens fascinating questions: will she develop as one person or two? Will she speak through both mouth at the same time or will she be able to talk to two different persons at the same time yet having only one individuality?

Indeed the four eyes blink together so the two brains are heavily connected and synchronized, but she might develop an imbalance between the two brains if for example her mother always talks to one face and not the other.

In fact she might have to be considered as an entirely new species since her cognitive abilities may well be completely beyond anything humans can do.

Jon, Nottingham

The best way to prevent her developing a brain imbalance is to glue her to a rotating platform so that everyone has to talk to both faces equally. We should also keep her in a perspex box, guarded by the X-Men, in case she turns out to be able to control metal WITH HER MIND.

From the thread that keeps on giving.

Change the type-face of the comments appearing in the HYS pages. These sanserif bold letters spoil our eyesight. The typematter of the comment is indistinguishable from the name of the person made a comment. All look falt with one face of type.

Next time when you make such changes, take your readers opinion. For, it is the readers’ page and the editors are the viewers. You simply moderate.

Now on the Diana inquest: Fools would think it is an accident when she was with an Egyptian, Dodi.
CSN, INDIA

Thanks to Steve.

I just had a moment of bewilderment as I was browsing around the Diana stuff, looking at photos of her and remembering the way people kept describing her as “beautiful” and “stylish”. Is it just me or did anyone else think she had tiny piggy eyes and looked a bit like somebody’s gran had discovered the elixir of youth but forgotten to update her hair and wardrobe to match? I’m not much of a fashion guru though, so maybe, at the time, it was the pinnacle of hip to don a pastel trouser suit and wear your hair like a cornetto.

Daina want sleep and peace. Don’t distrub her.
pranee sriruangrit, bangkok, Thailand

Do you know what I miss most about her? It’s her lovely face.