Permanently Bewildered and Retired Colonels and Werthers Original Imperialists12 May 2008 10:15 am
By Nelson

More pressing concerns from the complaints log. Women of the world, take over.

FA WOMEN’S CUP FINAL: ARSENAL V LEEDS UNITED

“I was disappointed that the streaker was not shown during the match by the cameraman.”

WORLD SNOOKER

“Throughout the coverage of the tournament, I have been annoyed by an on-screen visual effect which is used. There is no need for the vertical pink line which sweeps across the screen when switching camera views.”

Felt that the programme should have been presented by a man. “I am amazed that the BBC had a female presenter for this programme. There are not any women who play the game so why have a female presenter? This is obviously down to political correctness. I am not male chauvinist but there is a time and a place for women on television.”

BBC NEWS AT ONE

“I find that the female news reporter is not very clear with her pronunciation, it is nice to see her but she could do better at this.”

“The lady presenter was wearing very fancy clothes and showing the latest fashions. I do not feel this was respectful when reading the tragic news reports from Burma.”

18 Responses to “Bumper Crop #4”

  1. on 12 May 2008 at 10:31 am arsebanana

    Yeh. Make the bitch wear a sack when she’s reading sad stuff.

  2. on 12 May 2008 at 10:50 am jen

    I personally was heartily dissapointed to see a man present Miss World.There are very few male swimsuit competitions so why have a man present one? That too must be down to political correctness not male chauvinism.

  3. on 12 May 2008 at 10:54 am The Gnome Secretary

    If there does happen to be an afterlife, with a Heaven/Hell construct, foaming-at-the-mouth HYS-ers will probably be condemned to sort through an infinite supply of BBC complaints logs.

  4. on 12 May 2008 at 11:07 am Scribbles

    Why can’t the BBC show a special Ladies’ Snooker, where instead of hitting balls with sticks into pockets, the Lady Players can gently coax kittens to push balls of brightly coloured angora wool into handbags? The winner gets a new pair of lovely shoes and the lady who doesn’t win gets a big cuddle anyway, for trying.

  5. on 12 May 2008 at 11:59 am john

    Women should not present the news. How can I take the situation in Burma seriously whilst wanking over Fiona Bruce?

  6. on 12 May 2008 at 12:34 pm milt

    “I am not male chauvinist but there is a time and a place for women on television.”

    Like when they’re telling you your tea is ready or something. Also, as a rule of thumb, if you see this sentence structure:

    “I am not a(n) [insert noun/adjectival noun], but [insert qualifier]…”

    then it means that the speaker is most definitely the thing that he has claimed his isn’t.

  7. on 12 May 2008 at 12:40 pm JonR

    there is a time and a place for women on TV: topless darts.

  8. on 12 May 2008 at 1:15 pm James

    If there does happen to be an afterlife, with a Heaven/Hell construct, foaming-at-the-mouth HYS-ers will probably be condemned to sort through an infinite supply of BBC complaints logs.

    I’m inclined to believe HYS is hell, for educated and literate people. Marx is there, typing away the final few amendments to his doctrine of universal wealth, and what comes out? “TYPICAL COMMIE LABOUR NOW GODRON CLOWN IS REPEELING THE 10P RAIT BUT NOT IMMIGRANTS?”

    By the same token I think Atom John might have been Einstein and Lorna Pope was Ted Hughes.

  9. on 12 May 2008 at 1:29 pm Oliver

    I immediately googled the streaker for women’s FA cup and was delighted to find a photo easily. It was posted on The Telegraph website.

    I was however somewhat disappointed to find that she had kept her knickers on, and they had placed a football over the photo covering her breasts.

    Im not a chauvanist but I was really looking forward to chimping off over her display of public nudity.

    What has the world come to when women streakers and the media are denying us RED BLOODED males from expressing our appreciation of the fairer sex.

    I bet that bird who does the snooker is well up for it as well, having to spend all day looking at those alpha males who play the game waving their long straight cues around all day.

    The news is boring. Just as you get a semi over Fiona they put up some photo of a person starving or worse Gordon Brown and then it goes away. Those weather girls are alright though but you gotta be really quick.

  10. on 12 May 2008 at 1:54 pm philbert

    Obviously the Beeb should have a special wardrobe department who supply outfits to match the general tone of whatever news item is being read at a given time. A bit like Mr Benn.

  11. on 12 May 2008 at 2:05 pm Oliver

    Go on Philbert, what do you think our Fiona or Natasha should have been wearing when they broke the Fritzl story?

  12. on 12 May 2008 at 2:18 pm John

    A womble costume?

  13. on 12 May 2008 at 2:54 pm Jordan

    “I find that the female news reporter is not very clear with her pronunciation, it is nice to see her but she could do better at this.”

    So as long as she looks nice, it must be okay?

    Also if she was to wear clothes suited to the story, I think the BBC should do one better! Make her play act like she’s in the storm, it would be interesting to watch, beneficial to blind people and if she got so good at it, she wouldn’t have to talk, and we wouldn’t have to hear the disgusting pretty drool that comes out of her mouth.

  14. on 12 May 2008 at 3:13 pm philbert

    The womble idea is a good one, or alternatively Jurgen Prochnow’s uniform from Das Boot.

  15. on 12 May 2008 at 3:15 pm Mont

    They should dress newsreaders in those green suits they use for special effects work and chromakey in an appropriate costume for each story: camouflage during items on military conflicts, pinstripe suit for business news or a clown outfit for political stories. (see that, that’s satire that is)

  16. on 12 May 2008 at 3:33 pm philbert

    “And now, The News At Ten, with Andy Serkiss”

  17. on 12 May 2008 at 3:45 pm Nelson

    “And now, The News At Ten, with the contours of Andy Serkiss’s nutsack”

  18. on 12 May 2008 at 8:23 pm Dr D

    i want to see streaker cock of wimmin’s football too. please, mr cameraman?

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