Miscellaneous Prats and Retired Colonels13 May 2008 08:16 am

Bumper Crop #5

By Nelson

GENERAL TV

“I am unhappy with the whistling in studio audiences. It is deafening and far worse than any flashing lights programmes give out. I wish audiences could be told to calm down and stop making such a racket.”

Personally, I think the whole move to colour was a big mistake. It’s gaudy and encourages whooping.

21 Responses to “Bumper Crop #5”

  1. on 13 May 2008 at 9:34 am   Helen

    Flashing lights and whistling…WHAT NEXT?? SORT IT OUT CLOWN!!!!

  2. on 13 May 2008 at 11:03 am   Royce

    I remember that time I had convulsions and foaming at the mouth from whistling from the crowd.

    Came just before I realised I was an English sheepdog.

  3. on 13 May 2008 at 11:52 am   admirable chrichton

    Perhaps the whistling is subliminal messages being transmitted to this persons brain. Kill the leftys, kill them now!!

  4. on 13 May 2008 at 12:05 pm   Nibus

    I was permanently deafened by the flashing lights and whistling on ‘Cheggers Plays Pop’ in the 80s. I think God wants me to be a cabbage.

  5. on 13 May 2008 at 12:12 pm   milt

    He’s got a point though. I don’t mind if the epileptics are in fits over the flashing light thing, but whistling? It’d be ok if TV manufacturers introduced a “volume” control whereby levels of “noise” could be “turned” “down” at the press of a button. Sort it out, Gordon Brown. It’s what we voted for you for. That and sorting out domestic and foreign policy. And having verbals with that woman with the wide mouth.

  6. on 13 May 2008 at 1:05 pm   philbert

    He must really hate Bridge on the River Kwai. And Mary Poppins.

  7. on 13 May 2008 at 1:24 pm   huck

    question time is not what it used to be

  8. on 13 May 2008 at 2:15 pm   Oliver

    Er….I rather think that studio audiences are possibly not to blame here, more likely it is simply an ill fitting hearing aid.

    I think Newsnight would be much better with random strobe effects though.

  9. on 13 May 2008 at 2:46 pm   Jordan

    If he didn’t watch such programmes that get people excited enough to whistle, then he wouldn’t have this problem.

    But then again, it is almost proven that people on HYS are Big Brother fans, so he can fall painfully into a well of hypocrisy… and pain.

  10. on 13 May 2008 at 3:36 pm   Wingflame

    Whistling confuses dogs.

  11. on 13 May 2008 at 6:24 pm   anthony

    I find audience whistling a helpful tool in planning my viewing, any sign of it usually indicates programmes aimed at the common, the thick and yoofs (often all three) and therefore not for me. That and American style whooping, another sure sign.

  12. on 14 May 2008 at 1:42 pm   milt

    I think that’s the best comment I’ve ever read on here. I can’t stop laughing at it.

  13. on 14 May 2008 at 1:42 pm   milt

    The bit about whistling confusing dogs, I mean. How in God’s name do you do quotes on this site?

  14. on 14 May 2008 at 1:48 pm   sharon

    With multiple commas ,,,

  15. on 14 May 2008 at 2:15 pm   Nelson

    The bit about whistling confusing dogs, I mean. How in God’s name do you do quotes on this site?

    Milt, the code for the quote above looks like this in the comment box.

    <blockquote>The bit about whistling confusing dogs, I mean. How in
God's name do you do quotes on this site?</blockquote>
  16. on 14 May 2008 at 2:18 pm   James

    The bit about whistling confusing dogs, I mean. How in God’s name do you do quotes on this site?

    Milt, the code for the quote above looks like this in the comment box.

    But can you do nested quotes too?

  17. on 14 May 2008 at 2:22 pm   Nelson

    Apparently not :)

  18. on 14 May 2008 at 4:30 pm   Amber

    Milt, the code for the quote above looks like this in the comment box.

    But can you do nested quotes too?

    Testing…

  19. on 14 May 2008 at 4:31 pm   Amber

    FAIL!!!

  20. on 14 May 2008 at 4:31 pm   Amber

    Yes, I am that person who has to give it a go even though someone else has said it can’t be done…

  21. on 14 May 2008 at 4:48 pm   Nelson

    Healthy skepticism that.