Permanently Bewildered15 May 2008 03:43 pm
By Nelson
Thanks to Nick. How should we tackle girl crime?
The reasons?
* Three generations of womens lib which has emasculated the female gender.
* Girls emulating aggressive TV and film role models, from the Powerpuff Girls to Buffy to Eastenders dragons.
* The ‘Drugs and alcohol = cool’ culture
[BrainOfMorbiusSpeaks]
You’re all up for re-masculating the female gender but I bet you’re one of the people who complained about scientists using their evil DNA transbobbletrons to grow awful cocks on lovely girl necks.
I’m sure there’s a mother-in-law joke here about women emulating dragons but I couldn’t quite summon the energy to look for it.
Wait. They have dragons in Eastenders now? Is this some sort of Harry Potter-inspired move to boost ratings? I might have to tune in later to check this out.
ever since Wille the dog died, they’ve been wanting to reintroduce a token animal to be politically correct.
Or something.
and “BrainOfMorbiusSpeaks”? Look what happened to him at the end of that film…
Yeah, he was killed by the furies and taken away by his sister.
I think BOMS is secretly relishing the emasculation, and hopes it includes strapons.
Oh. My. Fuck.
The stupid - it burnsssss…
I’m picturing BrainOfMorbiusSpeaks being repeatedly rabbit punched by Tura Satana shouting “HOW MANY COCKS DOES YOUR WIFE HAVE? HUH?? EMASCULATE THIS, BITCH!!!”
Dagnabbit, now I have the horn.
And can I just point out the other major flaw in his reasoning? Drugs and booze are cool. Really, really fucking cool.
Er, doesn’t he mean masculinisation or masculinification or something; basically the polar opposite of emasculation?
Understandable though. When inflammable means flammable, what’s a speaking brain to do?
I for one am terrorised daily by emasculated girls who mistake me for a vampire.
“Oi mate, why does your missus keep havin’ a go at you? She’s a right fire-breathin’ reptile.”
“What do you expect? Her mother’s a dragon!”
Hmm… definitely no joke there, sorry.
Well they were until you brought maths into it, you fucking square.
He does have a point though. I’ve been looking at the figures in depth and it turns out 15% of the rise can be accounted for by incidents in which the crime was committed against people who resemble or demonstrate support for the policies of Mojojojo. And undeadist hate crimes are through the fucking roof!
And as an undead, giant brained monkey who just wants a peaceful pint down the Vic I have to agree with Mr Speaks. Why can’t those little whores just stop with their cartoons and their quirky teen dramedies and cook my fucking dinner?
To be fair, it is obvious why women are trying to grow neck cocks. If you combine feminine wiles with masculine cock you have a being capable of taking over the world.
Not sure what he means by dragging the Powerpuff Girls into it though. I mean, sure they smoked a bit of crack and turned tricks to fund their habit, but they never tried to glamorise what they were doing.
Ask yourself this: what would Elie Ngandu do?
I can tell you this, he would certainly put a stop to dogs’ talking cocks being grafted onto our women. Then he might go for a cup of tea and a nice sandwich. Or perhaps watch some telly.
Actaully, I think what Elie Ngandu would do is breed women shorter, to avoid the creation of MONSTERS.
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=144216&in_page_id=34&expand=true
I dunno, girls these days, going around getting forrun peado cocks grafted onto their necks, then cutting them off, opening minicab firms, marrying Mike Read and killing vampires. I blame Tony B-Liar and Gordon Clown and the rest of the liberal nazi commie ZaNu-Labour-PF fascists. You couldn’t make it up! But I could - and have.
So basically, women are less manly nowadays than they used to be, and it’s all Professor Utonium’s fault?
Can we set up an area of this site and call it “Elie watch” where people can amass all the genius of Elie Ngandu in one place?
I think Elie deserves his own website - even if he is a fake he deserves credit for generating such a powerful response to his insane ramblings.
I also see that angryman of genitalia-growing fame is obliquely placing the fault of deforestation firmly at the popes door
That’s frighteningly close to being a coherent argument, athoiugh naturally he’s clothed it in just enough vitriol and oversimplification as to render it practically meaningless. And he doesn’t explain how we’re supposed to keep birth rates down with neck-cocks playing about with our testosterone levels…
Oh god. In this case I think “The Brain of Morbius” refers to the 1976 Dr Who serial of the same name. You can actually tell he’s a 70s retro Who fan because he uses the phrase “Women’s lib”.