Comments on: Knifecrime

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:30:27 +0000

Wow, here’s a great solution to knifecrime, courtesy of angry man:

I worry more about Blackpool whose souvenir shops sell stabbing implements of a completely different nature and I can’t make up my mind which I’m the more scarred of?…..

Believe it or not I don’t want to see those scars. So what’s your solution?

Sidcup….! Sidcup!!

By: Nelson

Nelson — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:53:15 +0000

Sackcloth and Clansman are obviously pisstakes.

e.g. “sackcloth” posted another comment just before that one about how one of our armchair generals was actually a sound military strategist and laughing at him makes us look stupid
http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2008/01/29/toy-soldiers/

By: James

James — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:44:34 +0000

Surely if it’s a piss-take it should be, you know, funny? Or at least coherent enough to make plain what it’s spoofing?

By: clansman

clansman — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 22:26:48 +0000

Totally obvious piss-take. Auchtermuchty indeed! As the appalling John Junor might have said “Mr Justice Cocklecarrot will be dancing in the streets of Auchtermuchty tonight” if he reads this site.

So I suspect might ian cheese the “slightly soiled items” charity shop man.

Someone needs to fine tune their twat detector, and possibly take them self a little less seriously.

By: Alex

Alex — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:17:52 +0000

Or an imbecile that reads Private Eye.

By: sackcloth and ashes

sackcloth and ashes — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:42:28 +0000

‘Justice Cocklecarrot’ is a character in ‘Private Eye’, so this may be a piss-take.

By: Mr Clovis

Mr Clovis — Sat, 31 May 2008 18:51:06 +0000

Wheat fuels gluten intolerance.
Wheat leads to bread, slicing and therefore knifecrime.
The reader is left to ponder rape seed.

By: Royce

Royce — Sat, 31 May 2008 00:12:10 +0000

The Home Secretary is too stoned off her face on these non-wheat weeds to respond.

If the wheatsheaf doth glint in the night, beneath the moon’s eerie whiteness, how do blacks keep getting into our fucking country that is for us whites. Unless they’re poles. Unless they’re the ones that fixed my toilet when I vomited and accidentally missed the keyboard.

By: Paul D. Waite

Paul D. Waite — Fri, 30 May 2008 15:06:37 +0000

I’ll take a tasty crime bun. Actually, I’ll probably STEAL it, a ha ha ha ha hm.

I believe theft and burglary are two different crimes though, to be fair. Burglary is when you break into someone’s house to commit theft. See the Theft Act, 1968.

By: Peter

Peter — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:17:47 +0000

Just to be terribly geeky, the knobrash is actually stupider than the average person. He lives in Auchtermuchty, in Scotland. Thus the Justice Secretary and Scottish Government have responsibility over justice policy. Unlike most of Scotland, he doesn’t seem to know this…

Probably a good thing, we can send him down to London when Ec gets independence…