Thanks to several anonymous donors, I present further gems from the complaints log.
DAILY POLITICS
General
“I feel the programme provides information for the Taliban. A discussion programme lets the Taliban know what is going on from our point of view. I am all for free speech but not during a war.”
GENERAL TV
General
“I feel that the BBC should make a programme about electromagnetic weapons.”
Fearless Investigative Journalism
“Totally Disgruntled” has been trying to dig up some dirt on “NuLabour”. I expect he was busy the day they started privatising the health and education systems. And maybe he hasn’t fully understood that an illegal war is still a crime even if you only bomb Arabs. Never mind, he’s hit paydirt now.
You will be banned from sending your child to school if not vaccinated.
You will risk being imprisoned for not sending your child to school.
How does NuLabour reconcile this?
Totally Disgruntled, Wokingham
NOW YOU’VE GOT THEM!! They won’t wriggle out of it this time!
Thanks to Simon for this. Not sure which thread it was from but I don’t think that matters.
Dear Ma’ams
I see your point just as you see mine.
There is no room for discussion,life goes on as it always will.I don’t want to discuss with small brains like you, either!(in your short-breath asthmatic language).What can you say?All bred of servile puppits happy to serve.Put your GB up you know.You can’t test any more bombs in Oz-test them on Glasgow.
What about God?You forgot,little eating mouths!He’s still there.
You can play little games but beware the great bear-it will sweep away your childish Tornados and Vulcans in 20 minutes..but you’ve seen it on Hollywood.
Little oxygen absorbing soft tissue creatures with small ungodly brains.
Court U later from behind
Ffilip
It’s not often I find a post on HYS that I completely agree with.
Thought for the day yeah? I reckon that almost everyone is basically decent and the only reason they’re able to behave like such awful cocks is through ignorance or self-delusion. Don’t get me wrong, some people are far more selfish than others, but almost nobody is able to look calmly at human suffering and not care. This is part of what makes us human. For normal people, violence against others is only possible in the heat of passion. It takes adrenaline and emotion. This is why we have to train our soldiers. This is why we have to demonise our official “enemies” and make them seem somehow inhuman. This is why we have to sanitise our brutality to make it sound surgical and bureaucratic. Otherwise neither Daily Mail readers nor terrorists could say “Bomb the evil ones” without feeling like they’re asking for other people’s mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and children to be ripped apart by flying fragments of white hot metal.
Then sometimes, I read something like Topsy Turvy’s comment below and I realise that the propaganda isn’t always necessary. Some people are just so fucking thick that they are barely able to comprehend the world they live in. They see everyone else discussing stuff and, like a pre-linguistic child, they flap their mouths and make noises in the firm belief that they’re joining in.
“Can the Amazon be exploited without being destroyed?”
Asia is a MASSIVE continent. Why can’t she feed herself?
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom
More from the complaints log. I must thank my anonymous donor once again. This stuff is great.
NEWS
Time. 12:15: “In an item about Boris Johnson’s first day at the office I felt that the BBC unfairly reinforced the stereotype some have, as seeing him as a bit of a fool by showing that he apparently could not turn on a computer. To reflect balance you should have transmitted the more serious side of the man and his intentions as Mayor. Londoners didn’t just vote for him because he is amusing.”
I might phone up and complain that the BBC are making Jeremy Paxman look like an over-educated twit who thinks that “balance” means creating the same pointless shouty pantomime, no matter who you’re interviewing.
Thanks to Nick. How should we tackle girl crime?
The reasons?
* Three generations of womens lib which has emasculated the female gender.
* Girls emulating aggressive TV and film role models, from the Powerpuff Girls to Buffy to Eastenders dragons.
* The ‘Drugs and alcohol = cool’ culture
[BrainOfMorbiusSpeaks]
You’re all up for re-masculating the female gender but I bet you’re one of the people who complained about scientists using their evil DNA transbobbletrons to grow awful cocks on lovely girl necks.
I’m sure there’s a mother-in-law joke here about women emulating dragons but I couldn’t quite summon the energy to look for it.
Thanks to Phil. This smug fool’s tedious warbling seems to be channeling Timothy Claypole.
I am 61 retired .Have a degree in chemical engineering ,,,so have no background in tax matters ,,,But do understand basic Numbers ,,,Tis not beyond the whit of man to work out that the last budget ,,would cause problems ,,,To me now the change has been made ,,little difference ,,,I note one year only !!! ,, Tis all in events ,,yes and somethings just happen ,,I agree but Brown is a Disaster ,,,Does not even look like a PM ,,no . leading ,control
Methinks he should go ,, Now ,,,
W A Froud, Letchworth hers UK
I reckon that use of the word “methinks” on HYS is a 100% guarantee that the poster is an unbearably smug bollock. I challenge anyone to prove me wrong. Methinks you will fail.
GENERAL TV
“I am unhappy with the whistling in studio audiences. It is deafening and far worse than any flashing lights programmes give out. I wish audiences could be told to calm down and stop making such a racket.”
Personally, I think the whole move to colour was a big mistake. It’s gaudy and encourages whooping.
Thanks to Becca and Iain who both sent me this one from “Should human embryos be used for science?”.
Absolutely not. I know God exists and I also know inside his mind. He absolutely does not want mankind to use Embryonic research to find cures for things like Parkinson’s disease. I have no desire to benefit from it but, I also do not want other people to benefit from this research as well, regardless of whether they believe in God or not. Therefore I demand that this research does not take place. Pray for a cure instead. If God wants to cure you he will, if he want you to be a cabbage so be it.
Brian Brown, London, UK
I look forward to a heated debate about whether not Brian is an unfunny pisstake or a genuine, terrifying arsewound.
I found this one too.
Its very easy to tell someone they’re going to die when you believe that once their dead, part of them with live forever in lala land. Back in the real world how soon will it be before “saviour siblings” are being used to grow male genitals for women? etc etc
angry man
And what’s wrong with that? Finally, a chance for women to become full, rounded human beings with cocks of their own!
Perhaps you are right to worry though. I don’t think “Nu Liar-bore” (god I’m subversive) will stop at merely providing spare, farmed, cock for all those in need. I expect they’ll force everyone to have a FOREIGNER’S COCK growing on their neck or something. Probably a muslim cock. Pretty, white, christian girls will end up with massive, permanently erect, foreign cocks on their neck. Then, right, Gordon “Clown” will introduce a tax on neck-cocks! You couldn’t make it up!
More pressing concerns from the complaints log. Women of the world, take over.
FA WOMEN’S CUP FINAL: ARSENAL V LEEDS UNITED
“I was disappointed that the streaker was not shown during the match by the cameraman.”
WORLD SNOOKER
“Throughout the coverage of the tournament, I have been annoyed by an on-screen visual effect which is used. There is no need for the vertical pink line which sweeps across the screen when switching camera views.”
Felt that the programme should have been presented by a man. “I am amazed that the BBC had a female presenter for this programme. There are not any women who play the game so why have a female presenter? This is obviously down to political correctness. I am not male chauvinist but there is a time and a place for women on television.”
BBC NEWS AT ONE
“I find that the female news reporter is not very clear with her pronunciation, it is nice to see her but she could do better at this.”
“The lady presenter was wearing very fancy clothes and showing the latest fashions. I do not feel this was respectful when reading the tragic news reports from Burma.”