Update: In case it wasn’t clear, these are from the BBC complaints log.
Thanks once again to the renegade poster. D for damager. Power to the people. Not these people though. These people are a bunch of baggy hippo cunts.
RADIO 2 - CHRIS EVANS
“The show has been promoting European propaganda. The show used the term ‘metres’ in reference to height. This is E.U policy that does not exist within the UK.”
And they’re making garlic dildos and sauerkraut compulsory for pensioners.
A TASTE OF MY LIFE
“The chef on the programme stated that ‘a bog standard sponge would do’. He used the term ‘B.O.G standard’ incorrectly. ‘B.O.G standards’ means British or German standard, this goes back to WWI. Such errors should not be made on BBC programmes.”
Aha. This makes a lot of sense because British and German stuff was pretty much interchangeable at that time.
BBC NEWS CHANNEL
“I feel the BBC logo at the bottom of the screen on this channel could cause ’screen burn’.”
And bedsores.
THE ONE SHOW
“Lloyd Grossman is a terrible guest to have on this programme. I have no interest in watching an item about food at 19:00 in the evening.”
Perhaps you should phone in your schedule in advance then? They’re not fucking psychic you know.
NEWSNIGHT REVIEW
“I think Kirsty Wark should have worn tights and her shoes did not match her dress.”
I think she should wear clown shoes, a wizard’s hat and some of those leather trousers with the arse missing.
19:00 in the evening… When the fuck else is it going to be?
Chipmonk’s clunge.
I don’t get it. What international standard should the sponge be reaching?
Rich, maybe they were measuring to an Islamic pedophiles standard - it’s the sneaky kind thing the BBC would do in its campaign of EU propaganda!
What a bunch of golden lion tamarin’s cooches.
I think it’s important that we recognise language is not in any way a dynamic, shifting and relative social construct, but rather a concrete and unchanging obelisk that deserves our respect. And fear.
As soon as we realise this and accept that all WWI word meanings are the correct ones, well, just imagine how gay we could be.
Fucking hell, what a bunch of misguided cuckoo cloacas.
The metre does exist, no matter how much you stuff your fingers in your ears and shout “LA LA LA”; B.O.G. standard is complete bollocks and a brief google confirms this; it’s “Loyd Grossman” and if you don’t like him change the fucking channel; a bigger cause of screen-burn is watching TV for 24 hours straight without changing the channel from a news channel which repeats every 15 minutes; and Kirsty Wark’s fashion sense is the least of her problems.
Only on HYS is “a logical and easy-to-use system of measurement” the same as “EU propaganda”. I heard QWERTY keyboards (and all the others) are part of an Communist plot to undermine alphabetical order. And the Dewey Decimal System was invented by Gay Islams.
I really want the job of replying to these people. However, the length of interview, relocation to a cosmopolitan city, training time, and the forging of solid relationships with fellow workers; to then have it all end on the first day in power seems futile even to me. The first few replies would go well,”Thank you for your comment, we at the BBC welcome viewers. . .” and then “Fuck of and die you useless waste of mouth breathing dross” would escape by elevenses.
Kirsty walk has a wizards sleeve…..
when i hear anyone use metric measurements, i knifecrime them with a five INCH blade.
i also attack people whose height is an exact multiple of 10cm or whose weight is an exact multiple of 5kg. i clump these eurofacist do-gooders with a 6lb cudgel.
I know it’s mildly off topic but, I have been enjoying the debate on salaries at the BBC.
The number of people calling Jonathan Ross “Wossy” on HYS is, I believe, not entirely representative of the number of people who would consider calling him that in the real world.
It is slightly more representative of one person trapped in a 1988 copy of the Daily Express.
Christ almighty.
Reading those HYS comments is like being molested by a pikes flange.
And not in the good way.
What surprised me is that even people as thick as HYS contributors hate Jonathan Ross.
Hmmm, Kirsty Wark in chaps…
kirsty wark may well have a wizards sleeve - because I heard she’s seen more helmets than Hitler…
I’d like to complain that Chris Evans uses metres to describe height when, in his case, surely this should be related in centimetres.
I love these little titbits… How do we get them? They are true genius.
They are from the BBC complaints log and are sent to me occasionally by nice people.
but always remember, your cock is a bigger in centimetres
“I have no interest in watching an item about food at 19:00 in the evening.”
That’ll be as opposed to 19:00 in the fucking morning then
I think we should reinforce our national resistance to S.I. units of measurement at the Olympics. Our athletes should insist on running the 100yds instead of the 100m, stop 9.36 yards short of the finish line and claim a moral victory for twats everywhere.
I’m loving these complaints. It’s like all these people think that the little box in the corner of their room talks just to them, and their £139.50 buys them 24-hour personalised programming. Do they not know they can TURN THE FUCKING THING OFF.
Sorry, went all HYS on you there. Sorry, I’ll get my coat.
The static BBC News 24 logo *does* cause screen burn if you leave the channel on for long enough. It’s not even translucent like most logos which makes it even worse.
I’ve heard that the BBC themselves have (or had?) several ruined plasma TVs in their receptions because they left them showing News 24 all day.
That won’t happen with channels where the full screen changes, even if it does cycle through the same set of reports (or whatever).
With plasma screens as popular as they are it’d be nice if broadcasters paid some attention to the issue, though to most of us it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like many people leave News 24 (or any other channel) on all day and modern plasma TVs are fairly resilient. You can play computer games on them with fixed HUDs all day and the most you’re likely to get is a few minutes of temporary image retention, but not permanent burn-in.
Thanks Leo…….i think.
I often need the same story repeated over and over and over and over before I truly get the jist so will in future flick back and forth to Dave to avoid ruining my screen.
Kudos to Nelson for the DJ Wildchild reference.
Kirsty Wark’s tights and shoes… mmmm…. [*rubs thighs*]
Agreed, retro house referneces are depressingly thin on the ground these days.
A wark’s wee-wee.
Roffle, when you said “retro house references”, I thought you were talking about House as in the grumpy doctor, and wondered wtf you were on about as Wikiquote is full of them.
Maybe I’m just a gorilla’s G-spot.
> The show used the term ‘metres’ in reference to height. This is E.U policy that does not exist within the UK.
Yes. If you see a metre in the U.K., you’re actually hallucinating, just like all those people who think they voted for us to join the then E.C. in the 70s.
OMG, now I’m seeing metres everywhere! They’re taking over! This is a REVOLUTION people!!