Thanks to Nik for pointing me at the comment list for Ian Jempson. “Revoluotionsville” has been making me laugh for several minutes. In fact, Ian has helped expand the Twat-O-Tron quite significantly. We have added his bollock-brained distinctiveness to our own.
Go read the rest of his comments if you want to feel shit about the world but good about yourself. In fact, just go read any part of the “Have Your Say” site for five minutes. How the fuck is anyone supposed to maintain a sense of humility in the face of this onslaught of self-centred stupidity? Help.
Bring back the death penalty for any knife murderer under 16 or otherwise , if under 21 and caught with a knife without good reason for having it you should automatically recieve a £5000 fine and 2 years in prison. Metal detectors and at least two police officers posted at every community college , Educate the certain groups who always seem to be involved in knife and violent crime that Gang culture will not be tollerated and the perpetrators will be executed if caught.
ian jempson, Revoloutionsville
I’m always impressed when someone’s racism enables them to load a phrase like “certain groups” with so much hatred that they may as well have thrown an exploding turd at a black man.
Im driving less , eating less , saving less , paying more tax than ever , stressed more than ever and thinking about leaving this world.
ian jempson, Revoloutionsville
Less talk, more action.
38 Responses to “b0rgen”
Another from Ian. I’m posting it because it mentions both Mad Max and Hitler.
I couldn’t help noticing a little child like philosophy from Ian, I think he’s been watching the original Star Trek again…….
“Exploration of our universe must continue , mankind has and will always ask the question “why are we here?” and “are we alone?”
I thought you were Ian, but after reading HYS realise with horror that you aren’t. This quote from comedian George Carlin sums this up neatly…
“Just think how stupid the average person is,
and then realize that half of them are even stupider!”
Just stumbled upon this via a quick google. I wonder if this ex 24 stone lard arse is the ‘real Ian Jempson’?
http://www.lifehealthclub.co.uk/downloads/ianslimmingposter.pdf
There is a god, this was his response to the question, Is your broadband fast enough?
“Very slow , we are a long way from the exchange. “
You missed ‘radical’ grandad.
Oh Jesus. It raps:
If it wasn’t for irritating cunts like Ian then no one would feel the need to carry a blade just incase he starts talking mindless drivvel and the only way to shut him up is to plunge the blade through his windpipe.
> Exploration of our universe must continue, mankind has and will always ask the question “why are we here?” and “are we alone?”
If you like outer space so much why don’t you go live there?
> thinking about leaving this world.
Oh.
Come on, this guy’s great … a mixture of childlike wonder and ancient wisdom mixed in with a big dollop of total fucknuts.
He’s even done us an iPod playlist so we can have a soundtrack to the revolution!
Genius! FACT! Wicked, init.
NEXT
“we are all suffering because of high taxes , high fuel prices , its time to revolt people.”
I’m not sure it’s helped you much so far…
I took a look at the first few of his posts and thought he loooked like a typical HYS idiot. But delving deeper and seeing the posts related here (the rap is still making me cringe) makes me realise he’s a bit “special”
Compulsory school uniform - that’s the winner for sure. I hope it’s going to apply to busty young women too.
President Mugabes Impala Rib Xylophone Orchestra would be the best band in the world. FACT!!!
I do disagree fundamentally with Mr Jempson on one point, no way would they be on the bill before Sonia. The perky, fluff-brained, pop strumpet would clearly be supporting them.
I’ve been to revolutionsville, it was shite. couldn’t even buy a decent knife there.
“we are all suffering because of high taxes , high fuel prices , its time to revolt people.”
Ian, you already do.
Fantastic work on the Twat-o-Tron; sheer freakin’ genius!
I also disagree that he refers to her as an 80’s sensation. She launched her career in 1989 and her debut album was released in 1990 (although 1989 was responsible for her only number one single).
” What do you think is the world’s worst idea?
Speed and parking cameras , multiculturalism , green taxes , and the millenium dome ”
Why is it that twats like this are all for more laws and harsher punishments, always going on about how kids today don’t respect the laws of their country or their fellow human beings and generally moaning about how the country is running amok *except* when they’re bleating about the laws that they break, and the people they disrespect?
It’s the most mindlessly inconsistent ideology ever created! Lock up all offenders, except those who speed! Respect your fellow man, except if that respect extends to me actually doing something!
I was wondering how to scrape the output of the Twat-o-Tron and automatically post it. Looks like Mr Jempson may already have cracked it…
wallabies wossname…
As if to underline that point, compare
“The message is simple , punishments need to be really harsh , not just for youth but for all crime . Forget the softly softly approach it does not work , these kids need to learn respect for other people , and so do their parents”
and
“Crime is crime no matter who has commited it”
“Are we saying now that if for instance a load of criminals who do not pay tax driving transit vans towing caravans park on my local pub car park without the owners consent the Police will arrive and arrest them immediately for being antisocial and remove said vehicles to the crusher ? if not what difference will we see ?”
“We need to get back to a “sweeny” eye for an eye style force of hardnut coppers who are not forced to be politically correct at every corner”
with
“Yes they should be exempt , the laws are stupid and punish the innocent who provide for themselves, We should all be exempt from inheritance tax without question ”
and
“the destruction of british society by the government [...] speed cameras”
“Unlike the innocent drivers who will be snapped on camera and bullied into paying a fine because the cost of funding a court case to prove their innocence is too much for them. Its unjust , unfair , selfish and typical of the English “justice” system we now live in . If the above statement is the best the LGA could think of then god help us all . Orwells nightmare scenario!”
Make your mind up, Ian! Either we’re living in “Orwell’s nightmare”, or we need more enforcement of petty crime laws!
> Bring back national service boot camp type educational punishment centers for offenders run by the MOD with no PS2 or TV.
What about the Nintendo Wii? Always a grey area, is the Wii.
I’d be fucking insulted if I was in prison and only got a PS2. I’d want a 360 at the very least, where the fuck are we living? The Dark Ages?
I think the hypocrisy that Matt Volatile refers to can be summed up pretty well in one picture, which we all know speaks a thousand words (etc):
http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/Monobrow/star-1.jpg
One page leers over a 15 years olds developing breasts while opposite we see some nice knee jerk bile over a spoof on paedophilia.
I’m always amazed that a phrase like certain groups of people has some dickhead throthing at the mouth about the writer being racist. If that phrase makes someone think the writer is racist it must be because what they refer to is in fact associated with those certain groups of people, which indicates the writer was in fact correct and the person bringing this up has in fact confirmed and acknowledged it.
Andy, I’m afraid I’m not impressed by your logic nor your ability to invent new words.
Perhaps Nelson’s association of ‘certain groups of people’ with racism is a result of him being familiar with the way HYS authors (and certain portions of the media) write and think. Or perhaps not, perhaps he is indeed ‘throthing’ away over nothing. Tool.
“Just like road planners it seems we did not build the Net big enough !! what a surprise . More investment is needed from the telecoms industry , especially those who are making vast profits for the shareholders.”
Not like the internets in the old days. They were roomy and built to last.
Fucking hell.
“We all want a cleaner safer environment right ? well unfortunatly its never going to happen , it cant ,it wont, its impossible unless we reduce the population of England by about 20 million or so . Perhaps we could start by repatriating illegal immigrants etc etc
Above is a lesser version of an earlier post that despite having 35 recomendations was pulled by the BBC moderators who i can only assume wear sandals with socks and find the term “radical muslim estremist plotters” offensive . ”
I’m actually quite impressed, I didn’t think it was possible to have a post delayed on grounds of ‘racism’ from HYS.
Andy, you may step down from amber on the ‘throth alert’.
I hear what you’re saying… and in the case of violent crime there does appear (in the media at least) to be a disproportionately higher number of black youths involved. However, the casual racist reads this as purely meaning “black people are more likely to commit crime”. Suggesting it is a genetic racial trait. Which is, of course, bollocks.
That is why these people are accused of racism. Sometimes they’re only being stupid but, mostly they’re being racist.
“the BBC moderators who i can only assume wear sandals with socks”
ah you’re getting confused ian. the evil hand-wrinigng liberals wear sandals without socks. sandals with socks is what evil humourless krauts wear.
“the BBC moderators who i can only assume wear sandals with socks”
ah you’re getting confused ian. the evil hand-wrinigng liberals wear sandals without socks. sandals with socks is what evil humourless krauts wear.”
It is what Mid-western American lovelies wear on their European tour (cotton socks and sandals), until I specify otherwise.
Easier than driving 24 hours from NYC to Chicago, breaking down in Crawfordsville IN and stumbling across it, so to speak.
Ian Cheese has spoken he says…..
We must simply produce less offspring or none at all.
ian cheese
Recommended by 17 people
Ian Cheese is very clearly a Fist Of Fun reference… I think they’re a pisstaker.
Here is my PEOPLE’S MANIFESTO:
i) Govermment interference is totally unwarranted
ii) All people I dislike should be put down by the government
Thank you and good night.
Why do people insist that the best way of dealing with violent, antisocial youths are to give them weapons training?
He is sorting the wood from the chaff today.
Good on him.
Though I am not too sure if it is one of his cunning solutions to world hunger.
‘let them eat wood’
Pointless comment on the size of teh internets. You tube used more bandwidth in 2007 that the whole interweb did in 2000.
That is all.
I heard YouTube uses an area of the internet the size of Belgium.
I heard HYS uses an area the size of Uranus
driving less? eating less?
well, good. keep it up.