Curtain Twitchers and Unfocused Rage10 Jun 2008 09:43 am
By Nelson

Gone a bit sporadic I’m afraid. I have a long queue of stuff to post but no time to post it. Should have a bit more time next week.

In the mean time, thanks to Joanne for this from the debate on closing/improving schools.

Clos e the school and do what with the kids? Dump them on our streets to get into more gangs and commuitt more crimes?? They cant read or wright anyway and the schools arent alowed to beat them when their badso whats the piont of even having schools like this anyway

Closing these worthless schools wont help, we need to bring back old fashioned standards and have total discpline against bad kids and no more do gooders lecturing us about yobs “rights”. Are you listening Mr. Brown? Off course not
Mark Patriot, S Island, Scotland

Total discipline! Full spectrum dominance! Beat the children! Did you come in your pants again?

Never mind. If you move to another country, you might last a few years before they discover you and put you on their “register”.

29 Responses to “Write Off Course”

  1. on 10 Jun 2008 at 9:51 am Deggars

    Fuck me! That guy must have just eaten a big bowl of irony.

  2. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:02 am Paul

    How dose he know what schools are like? I don’t think he even went to school. Between the English and the idea that the PM might read HYS…

  3. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:05 am Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    Something suggests to me that this guy is taking the piss.

    -Perhaps it’s the fact he puts “Total discipline against bad kids” and “no more do-gooders” in the same sentence.
    -Maybe it’s the mis-spelling of “read and write”.
    -Maybe it’s because his surname is “patriot”.

    He’s taking the piss alright. He’s taking an awful lot of piss. THere’s not much piss left to be honest.

  4. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:15 am Nelson

    I take it as a given that, for every ludicrous comment on HYS, someone on here will be convinced it’s a piss take :)

  5. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:38 am Chas

    I think he’s a skint retarded S&M freak. His plan is to:

    1. Bring back beatings for bad grammar and spelling
    2. Let nature take it’s course

    That does make him a retarded genius. Is that clever or not?

  6. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:38 am Mooska

    I take it as touching evidence of the milk of human kindness flowing free that people are so prepared to give obvious window-lickers the benefit of the doubt. It makes me feel better about sniggering at ‘kids cant wright’.

  7. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:49 am LongJohn

    I’d be pretty pissed off if Gordon Brown was spending his morning reading HYS instead of doing something more important like making sure Prescott hasn’t barfed in the toilet after Tea and Scones.

  8. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:50 am Steve

    On a completely unrelated note, my girlfriend bought me a Breville Sandwich Toaster yesterday.

  9. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:52 am tehdai

    If I close my eyes *really tight* and wish *really hard* it will be the idealised Daily Mail version of 1954 when I open them again… meanwhile my entire contribution to 2008 britain will be “I don’t like it, it’s all strange and new”.

    Cock-smoker.

  10. on 10 Jun 2008 at 10:59 am Richard

    They cant read or wright anyway.

    Amazing.

  11. on 10 Jun 2008 at 11:27 am Gilbert Wham

    @ Steve: make mars-bar toasties & have them with icecream.

  12. on 10 Jun 2008 at 11:34 am Umlaut Ampersand

    Even more ironic that he can’t spell and that when you consider he lives on one of Scotland’s famous Alphabet Islands.

  13. on 10 Jun 2008 at 11:40 am scaryduck

    Look out! We’re in The Register:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/06/10/have_your_say/

  14. on 10 Jun 2008 at 2:06 pm arsebanana

    Its interesting to consider whether HYS spelling malfunctions are caused by the patient in question being shit thick or whether it is a rage induced finger spasm. In this case my guess would be both. Plus possibly he wasn’t beaten enough at school. And since.

  15. on 10 Jun 2008 at 3:06 pm James

    Can we have a standing rule that where there’s doubt over whether a HYS poster is “taking the piss” or genuinely retarded, they’re still valid for consideration because it’s still retarded to take the piss in a shockingly unfunny and cretinous manner? Whether or not Mark Patriot thinks he’s being serious or funny, it does not change the fact that he’s a Capybara’s Hairy Plate.

  16. on 10 Jun 2008 at 5:54 pm Simon

    I reckon “Rich(MMath)(Oxon)” a few posts up is taking the piss. I’m sure he’s not genuine. Look at the way he writes “THere’s”.

  17. on 10 Jun 2008 at 7:43 pm Mr D

    A website full of fake posts commenting upon a fake post on an0ther website featuring exclusively fake posts. How very modern. And there’s even a rouge character in this pretend post that I’m not making - presumably mistyped whilst in a frenzy of misinformed apoplexy. Or maybe during coitus with a goat. If Gordon Brown isn’t reading this, I may even quit not-posting on non-websites…

  18. on 10 Jun 2008 at 8:09 pm James

    There’s a rouge character in this post too.

  19. on 10 Jun 2008 at 8:10 pm James

    Or there would be if the comments form didn’t strip out styled tags. Boo.

  20. on 10 Jun 2008 at 8:18 pm Mr D

    anything the avon lady tells me to type…

  21. on 10 Jun 2008 at 8:31 pm Ijon

    For a moment there I thought Disgusted was invoking the UKIP octopus from their Party Political Broadcast at the last General Election.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ORjeusUuPbU

  22. on 10 Jun 2008 at 11:59 pm Dave

    That’s possibly the funniest octopus I’ve ever seen.

    BTW - and I know I’m leaving myself wide open to mockery invoking the real world rather than pasty BNP internet semimoron freaks - hope to see people at the banned Stop The War demo this Sunday.

    http://stopwar.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=642&Itemid=27

  23. on 11 Jun 2008 at 11:50 am fucko the clown

    we should have more wars, we’d win every time, we just recruit ‘yoofs’ armed with knives and parachute them randomly into ‘forrun’ countries, they could really cause chaos.

    anyway, I didn’t come here to listen to politics Dave, only genuine fronteer gibberish!

  24. on 11 Jun 2008 at 12:17 pm Oliver

    Apart from the bad spelling, grammar and all-round idiocy of Mr Patriot, what gets my goat more than anything about that post is the fact he really thinks the school will simply just close and there will be someone stood outside the front gates in the Autmn term saying,

    ” Sorry kids, there’s no school here any more because you’re all cretins destined for the scrapheap, now fuck off and hang around on street corners while all the bright kids get an education at the schools that are still open. Drink some vodka or have a spliff to take the edge off if you need to, and dont forget to queue up at the dole office when you get to 16. Thanks for costing me and all the other teachers their jobs and good riddance…”

    Chiz chiz.

  25. on 11 Jun 2008 at 6:26 pm Alex Salmond

    on top of this, the ‘closing of schools that don’t improve’ story has nothing to do with Scotland. Idiot.

  26. on 12 Jun 2008 at 4:41 pm Xiu

    “They cant read or wright anyway and the schools arent alowed to beat them when their badso whats the piont of even having schools like this anyway”

    I agree. What’s the point in having schools if you can’t beat the kids? Blast these hand-wringing-do-gooder-softy-loony-left-liberal-fanny-flaps!

  27. on 12 Jun 2008 at 7:44 pm Alex

    Does he mean “beat the kids” or “beat off over the kids”? Or is it maybe a combination of the two?

  28. on 12 Jun 2008 at 9:41 pm ASBO Baz

    ”Sorry kids, there’s no school here any more because you’re all cretins destined for the scrapheap, now fuck off and hang around on street corners while all the bright kids get an education at the schools that are still open. Drink some vodka or have a spliff to take the edge off if you need to, and dont forget to queue up at the dole office when you get to 16. Thanks for costing me and all the other teachers their jobs and good riddance…”

    “Fuk off Smiffy Y’ stinky spaz. We saw your wife in Somerfield, what a minga! An’ you ‘ad a nervous breakdown. An’ Vicky Pollard says you’ve got a tiny cock. An you drive a SKODA, ha-hah! you fuckin loser! All teachers are queer peadoes. We’re gonna knife you soon.”

  29. on 13 Jun 2008 at 7:06 pm Baz's Mam

    Now Bartholemew, there’s no need to throw a tantrum just because there are no more sun-dried tomatoes. Now hurry up and eat your avocado and rocket salad or we’ll be late for your viola lesson.