Another selection from the complaints log. Thanks.
RADIO 4 – GENERAL
“I wish Radio 4 would stop trailing television programmes. I do not have a television and often miss the radio programme I want to listen to because I turn off when these trails come on.”
Tricky one. I’m sure that scientists are working on this and that, soon, with technology constantly advancing, you’ll be dead and won’t have to worry about it any more.
RADIO 5LIVE – VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE
“I thought the discussion about the idea of having a black Prime Minister was conducted in a very biased way. I don’t think enough white people had the opportunity to give their opinion.”
We should organise some sort of “poll” whereby the white majority gets to choose mainly white people to be in government. Then we need to repeat it every few years just to make sure some black people don’t sneak in while we’re not looking.
BBC RADIO WM
“I feel that the station as a whole is excellent. I am going to send them an e-mail saying so.”
Yeah? THEN WHAT?
BARGAIN HUNT
“Tim Wonnacott says no-one has afternoon tea anymore. I have been having afternoon tea for the last 20 years.”
I bet Tim Wonnacott feels like a proper charlie now!
BREAKFAST TV NEWS
“Louise Minchin has the most awful glasses. She looks like an owl and it is very off-putting.”
Are you a field mouse?
READY STEADY COOK
“It was outrageous that the bearded chef was not wearing something to cover up his beard.”
You could try putting your hand over that bit of the screen?
WEATHER – GENERAL
Annoyed that metric measurements are used rather than Imperial. “Why is the temperature given in Celsius. This is the European Union ethnically cleansing our language.”
First they came for the thermometers, and I didn’t speak up. Then they came for the scales but mine do metric and they said that was cool.
22 Responses to “More Complaints”
It’s true about the ethnic cleansing. I hear that soon, people who insist on buying everything in Good Old British Pounds, complaining about Europe and being the flagwavers of cultural ludditism will have to wear an identifying badge at all times. Fortunately it will take the form of a rolled-up Telegraph under the arm, so I doubt they’ll even notice. What with their confused states and all.
WEATHER – GENERAL: I also want the business reports back in pounds, shillings and pence: £sd
WEATHER – GENERAL: The forecaster entirely failed to mention whether today was trilby or panama weather. This is very important for me to know as it’s difficult to start my Humber Super Snipe in hot weather.
I find this right-wing crank use of ‘ethnic cleansing’ really fucking disturbing. They’re all in favour of it when it’s leaving Africa “to it’s own devices”, forcibly returning asylum seekers or deporting anyone with a name they’re too fucking stupid to pronounce to their “country of ethnic origin”.
But use any measurement divisible by ten and it’s THE MOST HORRIFIC GENOCIDE KNOWN TO MAN!
WEATHER – GENERAL: Covered the mainland pretty well, but hardly mentioned the British Empire; I have East India Trading Company shares to worry about!
WEATHER – GENERAL: No wonder Europe is holocausting our beloved English language. Why else is the corner of France shown on the weather map? This is clearly a French ploy to get free weather forecasts from OUR government’s met office!
Radio-4-TV-trails-man is particularly irksome since us TV-owning chumps are financing his precious station. Still, it makes me feel better that he misses a lot of shows. And I severely doubt he understands how to use Listen Again…
Hyperbole, the real threat to your language, you stupid tosser.
Let’s just ignore the fact that English is a mishmash of germanic, danish, northern french and latin influences anyway. What did those foreigners ever do for you?
I was going to make a quip about how having afternoon tea for twenty years will somewhat inhibit your ability to do anything else. Thus making you somewhat of a sponge to society.
But then I realised that the person in question watches Bargain Hunt- which logically implies that they are unemployed- and my above comment is surplus to requirements.
Imperial measures, don’t get me started – I have not, as yet, forgiven anyone for UTC. Which is CUT but those cheese eating surrender monkeys had to stick their oar in. It is bloody GMT and I for one have no truck with these “so-called” scientists messing things about. The first manned moon landing happened at 13:32 UTC – in my mind it will always be 13.32 GMT. Because the fricking UTC did nto exist till 1972, si stick that in your pipe and smoke it Gordon Loon, and the BBC.
Si, er So
I wrote the above on Blue Basildon Bond, with watermark, with my Bic green biro – I will be sending the letter to the “Sky at night”, I know Patrick will see the sense of it all.
I don’t know whether to use a first or second class stamp. Damn this internet.
Celsius? Farenheight? Pah! Kelvins or Death!
Bearded Chefs! The bastards!
On the other hand she might have been talking about Anthony Worral-Thompson, in which case I’m fully in favour of covering up part of his face. The more the better, actually.
“I have been having afternoon tea for the last 20 years”.
Surely it must be getting cold by now?
Using foreign European measurements for ENglish weather is just another sop by the Brown Broadcasting Corporation so that illegal emmigrants can understand what the temperature is without getting out of their free People Carriers
Enforce Chef Burkas… NOW!
All the Burkas forcibly ripped away from those dreadful Muslim women (aka the terorist support network) should be instantly slapped onto the faces of bearded chefs.
I bet those Eurocrats in Brussels are plotting right now to hand all our human rights to gay bearded chefs! Enough is Enough!
Beard = Evil
When will black people stop ‘playing the race card’ and realise they are a minority here? It is ok for a British soap opera to have one minor black character, (as long as they’re westernised) but it is simply NOT acceptable for these people to have a program for black people by black people. They had ‘Roots’ and look at all the problems that caused. If they want to be black so badly, why don’t they go back to Africa? Nobody’s stopping them. In the uk, at the very most, they should be merely a reflection of our opinion of them.
Why should it matter about the skin colour of the contributors to the R5 Live discussion?
1. It’s radio – you can’t see the person.
2. If we had truly put racism into the history books, then the colour of a political leaders skin would be irrelevant.
Another one to add to the axis of evil, black bearded chefs…
Heaven forbid!
What a lot of you don’t realise is that there is a very real problem with converting fahrenheit to celsius. When the temperature is converted, there is often a fraction of a degree celsius left over. This is rounded UP, thus causing GLOBAL WARMING. WAKE UP PEOPLE! THE EUROCRATS ARE KILLING OUR GOOD OLD BRITISH POLAR BEARS!!
Can we just have the site dedicated to these complaints for a bit? I love’em.
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