Thanks to Bob.
The issue here isn’t one simply of crime. It’s the whole general attitude of today’s “yoof” that is the problem.
Intimidation
Lack of respect
Lazyness
Scruffyness
Lack of morals
Filthy language
Poor dictionNone of the above things go through the courts, but they all influence how we perceive today’s youngsters.
When will those in power realise that you can’t decide policy from looking at pretty graphs and statistics - you actually have to get out there amongst the filth!!
Topsy Turvy, England, United Kingdom
You’re one of those massive men with squeaky voices aren’t you? And the eyelashes of a cow? The sort of person who writes a letter to the council because your neighbour doesn’t keep his wheelie bins lined up straight against the wall. You work in public sector IT “support” but spend most of your time making squeaky, smug excuses like “Well, I could reset your password but not without a ‘Credential Change Request Form - CCF-ISG-CCR01′”. You have your own little corner that nobody else likes to go near in case they get a querulous lecture on how the tomato is actually a fruit. You actually think that you’re funny and that wearing a bowtie makes you look sophisticated and intelligent. Cock. They’d fire you if they thought they could prise you out from where you’ve got wedged behind that desk.
I bet all his pencils are sharpened to needle-like sharpness, in readiness to record any and all transgressions of those nearby..
I propose we send Topsy Turvy out amongst the ‘filth’, armed with nothing but his elocution lessons and a duffel bag of tank-tops and bow-ties.
I suspect that the “filth” Topsy Turvy claims to have been out there amongst were actually cub scouts politely asking if he would donate to the St John’s Ambulance.
Erm
Didn’t Alex publish that exact Topsy Turvy post in the youth of today thread?
Don’t shoot the messenger!
“actually cub scouts politely asking if he would donate to the St John’s Ambulance.”
ah, but they said ‘d’you wanna donate?’ instead of ‘Do you want to donate, Mister Topsy Turvey Esquire’. Off to the courts and the borstal for such filthy degenerates! Prosecute sloppy speech!
I class his poor spelling of “filthiness” and “laziness” as fould language. Maybe that’s why the yoof don’t respect him.
Also, what the fcuk is he talking about? Is he suggesting that we make all of those things criminal offences?
He’s right though. I blame that blasted Rock ‘n’ Roll myself. Damned “Teddy-Boys”.
If I meet Topsy Turvy I’d kill ‘im, the worthless fucker, but I can’t be bothered as I have to kick the cat next door with my fucked old trainers.
That ticks his whole list I think.
When will poor diction finally carry a prison sentence?
We should have a competition to find the shortest sentence that could make Topsy Turvy blow a fuse. My entry is “I voted liberal.”
I can beat that: “Black person!”
“Blair was ok.” is a whopping three characters shorter.
“Don’t say wog.” is more likely to get a good “PC gone mad”-type rant though.
Intimidation
Lack of respect
Lazyness
Scruffyness
Lack of morals
Filthy language
Poor diction
Here Here! I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say Topsy’s list is just what this LACK-A-DAISICAL country needs. And Uniforms! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again! Nice, smart uniforms! Shoulders Back! Stomach out! And if I get anymore lip from you, you’ll be peeling spuds from now ’til Christmas.
I love the way he rants ‘filth!’ at the end of the last sentence. He really spits it out. Nasty! Dirty! Eurgh! Filth!
I bet £100, based on that word alone, that this guy is massively sexually frustrated and has problems admitting to aspects of his sex-life/sexuality.
Whenever anyone says “today’s” youth, you know they’re talking utter cobblers. The Ancient Greeks said exactly the same thing about their kids.
Surely ‘Pro-EU’ at 5 characters is short and yet guaranteed to get him popping his cork?
It’s not a well-formed sentence though.
I think “I’m gay” would do the job, but it would have to be down to the circumstances. Being gay while looking happy, affluent, successful or healthy would set him off like a tabloid-coloured firework, but he wouldn’t have a problem with that sentence were it uttered by someone, say, miserably confessing to their perversion while chained in the stocks.
Ooh, I love The Wonder Stuff.
Topsy Turvy’s job is in fact fulltime at HYS. He and his 92 alter-egos don’t have time for anything other than making facile comments…..I’d like to give him a shoeing. I doubt he’d see the irony in that.
James - you know Topsy Turvy is actually gay? I had a look at some of his posts on Newssniffer and it turns out he’s not only gay but from my hometown.
But I guess the bow-tie says it all anyway.
I refuse to believe that, as I am an atheist and the existence of a creature so purely designed for self-loathing would imply the existence of a God with a vicious streak a mile wide.
Fact. Look here. Of course he also says he doesn’t vote BNP. And regularly claims that he’s not racist. And he probably doesn’t think he’s an idiotic cunt.
That thread where Topsy comes out is just plain weird.
Its not cool to be weird
Listen, if the itelligent designers are allowed to pick and choose their evidence to support their worldview, I don’t see why I shouldn’t. Topsy Turvy is not gay, other than a slight tingle he gets when he sees young men playing volleyball which he then supresses by repeatedly striking his testicles with the Old Testament. FACT. END OF. NEXT QUESTION.
I don’t understand the acronym this is supposed to spell out:
Intimidation
Lack of respect
Lazyness
Scruffyness
Lack of morals
Filthy language
Poor diction
ILLSLFP? Reading over the first few letters, I was slavering in anticipation of a witty word being spelt out, so imagine my disappointment when it fizzled out to nothing but a nonsensical series of consonants.
My missus works in local government IT and most of her “customers” make the average HYS twat look like they have the combined genes of Shakespeare, Gramsci and Einstein.
Call me thick, but the bit I don’t understand is the ‘obvious’ mutual exclusivity of being gay and a BNP-voting, bigoted arsehole.
Do the BNP have special rigged ballot papers that give fatal electric shocks to queers, or what?
Exactly. At the risk of actually making a serious point, the problem with the chronically right-wing is that they have no imagination. The just can’t see what it might be like to be anyone else. So everything they are is fine. Everything they do is normal. It’s only other people who can render themselves subhuman by:
And so on.
Just popped a post on HYS suggesting that Topsy Turvy, or ‘Rancid Fuckhole’ as I like to think of him, has a look at this site.
It received 5 recommendations in 2 minutes, and was then rejected. Not sure what that means yet.
In fairness, he does seem to be getting a fair pasting off quite a few other HYSers, so maybe there is hope yet.
Does anyone have his picture?