Permanently Bewildered30 Jun 2008 09:16 am
By Nelson

Thanks to Michael. What lessons should be learned from last Summer’s floods? Anyone else starting to feel the same way about the phrase “lessons to be learned” as they do about phrases like “I’m sorry, I think I just shat in your bed”?

The lesson to be learned is that our councils have more interest in wheelie bins and fortnightly socialist rubbish collection than in safeguarding individual householders against flood damage. Why should they care, they are all insured rich people anyway.
jeremy slawson, plymouth, United Kingdom

Are those fucking commie dustbin men taking your away rubbish again? Can’t trust anyone these days can you? You leave it out for ONE NIGHT and what happens? They fucking ‘ave it away. Bastards. You’re just going to have to keep it all indoors. In fact, you could kill two birds with one stone by using all those Chinese takeaway containers to store your turds where the psuedo-marxist sewage operatives won’t find them! Bloody socalist wankers, trying to redistribute your wealth. It’s your RIGHT to let it accumulate dammit!

27 Responses to “Accumulating”

  1. on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:23 am thirdman

    I’m not entirely sure why the government should be protecting people from flood damage, when those people have bought / built houses on a flood plain. The clue’s in the name…

  2. on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:41 am Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    Is he saying that the bin men should come less than once a fortnight, thus enabling them to have more spare time in which to prevent floods?

  3. on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:45 am Petpete

    If you get flooded God hates you and you’re a cunt. FACT, LMAO, ROFL, LOL, IDST, Don’t piss it away.

  4. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:03 am Alb

    You couldn’t make it up!

  5. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:10 am Setyourfacestostunned

    Fucking two week rubbish collection! Coming over here and buying a house on a flood palin and then insuring it. Rich council not giving a shit about poor white people who are uninsured even though the council is responsible for etc.

  6. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:22 am Moonshine

    I like my socialist bin collections, you always get a good chat and a nice red sticker with a fist on.

  7. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:31 am Coach

    I hid a bag of fascist rubbish at the bottom of my wheelie bin last week. The bastards spotted it and took everything else but left that bag behind. Now I’ve got to make a special trip up the tip. Nightmare.

  8. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:47 am Robin

    I thought the fortnightly socialist rubbish collection was called The Socialist Worker.

  9. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:51 am Royce

    Yeah, the bloody commies wouldn’t take my collection of old Tory manifestos away. Apparently only socialist rubbish is collected in my area.

  10. on 30 Jun 2008 at 11:41 am Felna

    Maybe he thinks that when the communist dustmen aren’t collecting rubbish from the Proletariat, they should stand at the banks of swollen rivers, hollering communist slogans about the rewards of honest toil, while using their rubbish to shore up the barriers - got to be a better alternative than landfill surely?

  11. on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:19 pm Cheese Priest

    I think I speak for us all on here when I say: “In these circumstances I find myself thinking ‘what would Idi Amin do?’”

  12. on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:26 pm Dave from Bristol (not not Europe)

    The Socialist Worker only collect their rubbish from one collection point at a flimsy fold-up table in my city centre on a Saturday now. And they won’t take mine- I’m too social democratic and therefore an evil bourgeois neoNULabourite who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes, apparently.

  13. on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:31 pm bigruss

    yeah jeremy - everyone knows if you want to become rich you work in local government…

  14. on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:52 pm Em

    Sounds like a dilution of the lovely public-institutionism ‘Lessons Learned’ [i.e. 'list of mistakes']

  15. on 30 Jun 2008 at 1:09 pm Far-Q

    Jeremy’s mistake is getting fortnightly socialist rubbish collections. I get my capitalist rubbish collections daily, courtesy of the downtrodden proletariat.

    And damn grateful they are too, to be given the chance to rifle through my discarded detritus for any off-cuts of venison the hounds may have left.

  16. on 30 Jun 2008 at 1:18 pm AsbO baZ

    our councils have more interest in socialist rubbish collection… Why should they care, they are all insured rich people.
    jeremy slawson,

    They’re socialist bastards concerned with every detail of your lives AND they’re rich selfish bastards who don’t give a hoot about you. Yeah baby!

    Nelson? As a tax-payer,I demand a written explanation as to why this genius has not been filed under ‘Unfocused Rage’?

    It’s posh scum like you, with your fat-cat layabout student lifestyle that are responsible for interfering in everthing that’s never done properly. Keep your nose out and pay more attention. As an indiginous, not British, not European, not socialist, Englishman, (God save the Queen and never trust the Germans), I demand you explain how this minute detail was overooked.

  17. on 30 Jun 2008 at 1:30 pm Ben

    Can it be a coincidence that Jeremy Slawson is an anagram of Masons Jewelry? Those masons hate the bolsheviks.

  18. on 30 Jun 2008 at 2:01 pm Big Jamesie

    The answer is simple, let the floods carry away your extra rubbish.

  19. on 30 Jun 2008 at 2:35 pm hyperdeath

    The worst thing about these socialist bin-men is that they seem to have factionalized. In the past, I managed to avoid trouble by using Socialist Alliance dustbins. Unfortunately, they’ve now started accusing me of being a “Trotskyite splitter”.

  20. on 30 Jun 2008 at 2:45 pm hyperdeath

    I always knew these reckless blood transfusions would end in disaster.

    I once saw a guy insert an intravenous canula whilst blindfold and riding a unicycle.

  21. on 30 Jun 2008 at 2:59 pm laughingatya

    I get my rubbish collected EVERY WEEK!
    BWWAAHHAAHAAHAA!!

  22. on 30 Jun 2008 at 3:45 pm hyperdeath

    Damnit. I posted in the wrong thread (my post at 2:45). I must have had the wrong window open.

  23. on 30 Jun 2008 at 3:58 pm Colonel Fatpants

    Hyperdeath: You had the wrong window open? That feng shui gets ya every time, don’t it?

  24. on 30 Jun 2008 at 4:48 pm Joe

    Yeah, those selfish socialists. Hang on, that’sn not right - maybe they’re not socialists at all! Something fishy there, definitely.

    The BNP collect the bins round here. Weekly, too! I’d prefer a Sharia collection, though, they don’t come so early.

  25. on 30 Jun 2008 at 5:41 pm A Bin Laden with Nail Bombs

    Nah… Sharia-Bins come six times on a Friday, kicking off at dawn, it’s Bedlam. And during Ramadan they don’t come at all for a month.

    You want Kosher-Bins, they do it wholesale whenever you like, except the Sabbath obviously.

    or Hindu-Bins… Pukka mate.

  26. on 01 Jul 2008 at 1:04 pm Warhead

    There is only ONE lesson to be learned, and that is that we must never let this kind of thing happen again, regardless of what this ‘thing’ is.

  27. on 01 Jul 2008 at 7:12 pm Lindsay

    Hasn’t Jeremy earned his place as a regular twat yet?