Armchair Generals and Curtain Twitchers and Permanently Bewildered30 Jun 2008 08:00 am

Go Full Scale

By Nelson

Thanks to Matt. These are about AIDS.

Sexual deviations, sex outside the marriage, unprotected sex and reckless blood transfusions enlarge the reach of this disaster. More funds is not the singular magic wand that can arrest this modern plague. Even when the most educated fall prey to the tentacles of this malady, one can well imagine the plight of ignorant fools who easily falter in the heat of the moment. It is a world disaster that overlooks race, religion, colour or creed. A multi-pronged attack is overdue in the now or never.
Aziz Merchant, Fremont, United States

I was quite taken with the idea of “reckless blood transfusions”. I expect they’re performed, just for the hell of it, up a stepladder in a cage full of randy hippos.

Sadly this disaster needs to kill even more and we need a few more massive disasters as well if this planet is to survuive mankind. there are too many of us so we need thinning out. It is either natural disaster or the crusades (christine v muslim) go full scale (not just Iraq) and we wipe loads of us out and include china & india in this too. Sad but true
Mad Max 4, St Annes

Poor Christine.

It is a disaster which is a shame because it all could have been prevented 25 years ago. Our governments knew and tracked the small group of promiscuous people who first began spreading the disease they contracted from chimpanzee populations in Africa. Had these people been removed from the population countless lives would have been saved. It exposes the failure of indecisiveness and political correctness.
Patricia Henley UK

If only there were more researchers like you working on this. I look forward to seeing your findings published in the “Keith Chegwin Journal Of Immunology & TV Schedules”.

20 Responses to “Go Full Scale”

  1. on 30 Jun 2008 at 8:38 am   Magpie

    Not just Iraq but China too? Christine is going to be rushed off her feet…

  2. on 30 Jun 2008 at 8:42 am   Rodafowa

    “It exposes the failure of indecisiveness and political correctness.”

    You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you seem to think they mean.

  3. on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:02 am   Dai

    Sexual deviations?

    I have sex with garden furniture - does this put me “at risk”?

  4. on 30 Jun 2008 at 9:48 am   Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    That Patricia Henley one caused a massive stir on HYS. I had to trawl through pages of angry responses to find hers.

    When she says “contracted from chimpanzees in Africa”, she’s implying these people used to sit down and take heroin with monkey’s, right?

    Or does she mean “sex with black people”?

  5. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:13 am   Setyourfacestostunned

    What is a “reckless blood transfusion”?

    Me: “Doctor I have a sore throat.”
    Dr: “It’s a blood transfusion for you my lad”.

  6. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:29 am   Paul D. Waite

    Mad Max 4 is right about “thinning out” the world’s population, but probably doesn’t realise that HYS was set up to identify likely targets.

  7. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:32 am   Jamison

    A multi-pronged attack on the promiscuous chimpanzee population is overdue in the now or never.

  8. on 30 Jun 2008 at 10:47 am   deadestfish

    Patricia Henley is right, execute the promiscuous people. It’s the only way to be safe.
    But those bleedin’ heart liberal politically correct socialists won’t let us. You couldn’t make it up!!!

  9. on 30 Jun 2008 at 11:15 am   Alexandra

    I had a blood transfusion last week, I just feel embarassed now. I can’t believe I did such a thing just for a cheap thrill. I’m going to keep on with the anonymous sex though, there are some things you just don’t want to give up.

  10. on 30 Jun 2008 at 11:18 am   Nelson

    I think it’s generally accepted that HIV evolved from the simian version (oh, unless you’re a sponge-head who thinks that THE CIA INVENTED LIQUID AIDS TO KILL AFRICANS!11 ZOMG!!!).

    But yeah, Patricia probably thinks it involved bummy chimps.

  11. on 30 Jun 2008 at 12:06 pm   Sam

    Yeah, but don’t forget, HIV isn’t allowed to cause AIDS any more - in a fit of PC gone mad, the namby-pamby fascist liberal ultra right-left-wing Labour Government has ruled that there should be a positive selection of “other” causes of AIDS, meaning that if two sources of AIDS have the same qualifications, the minority one has to be ruled the cause.

    Whatever happened to our white, hard-working, middle-class, massively taxed HIV? YOU COULND@T MAKE IT UP!!eleven!

    PS - Alexandra: I’m game if you are… been ages since my last pint.

  12. on 30 Jun 2008 at 1:14 pm   lisa simpson

    I think it’s generally accepted that HIV evolved from the simian version (oh, unless you’re a sponge-head who thinks that THE CIA INVENTED LIQUID AIDS TO KILL AFRICANS!11

    or indeed a sponge-head who thinks that natural selection and darwinian theory are conspiracies against the word of god, and that excavations of dinosaur bones are planted by evil atheists in order to support the evil and deviant theory of evolution.

    either way, sponge head is the operative term.

  13. on 30 Jun 2008 at 1:56 pm   rich (mmath)(oxon)

    Sam-

    think that’s what they call “HIV positive discrimination”.

  14. on 30 Jun 2008 at 1:58 pm   Gilbert Wham

    I have sex with garden furniture - does this put me “at risk”?

    It’ll get you locked up. At least in JesusLand it will: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/06/26/picnic_table_sentence/

  15. on 30 Jun 2008 at 3:41 pm   hyperdeath

    Damnit. I posted in the wrong thread (my post at 2:45). I must have had the wrong window open.

  16. on 30 Jun 2008 at 3:48 pm   hyperdeath

    Damnit. I posted in the the wrong thread again. (Curse this weird open-source browser). What I meant to say was:

    I always knew these reckless blood transfusions would end in disaster.

    I once saw a guy insert an intravenous canula whilst blindfold and riding a unicycle.

  17. on 30 Jun 2008 at 4:00 pm   Don_Durito

    Don’t worry, hyperdeath. There’s no judgement here.

    *coughcoughcough*

  18. on 30 Jun 2008 at 7:00 pm   Alex

    BZZZZZZ!
    “Paul, you interrupted.”
    “Sexual deviation!”
    “It was indeed, well spotted. So Paul gets a point for a correct interruption, Clement, I’m afraid you get AIDS.”

  19. on 01 Jul 2008 at 12:42 am   Mad from Barking

    BZZZZZZ!
    “Paul, you interrupted.”
    “Sexual deviation!”
    “It was indeed, well spotted. So Paul gets a point for a correct interruption, Clement, I’m afraid you get AIDS.”

    So with 23 seconds left on the clock Paul, with you, on ‘Monkey-Fucking Sicko Pervert Queers’ and your time starts… now

    ‘Monkey-Fucking Sicko Pervert Queers had a hit song with ‘Suck My Love Pump Ape-Bitch’ in 1978 and it reached number 17 in the hit parade. On the video of the aforementioned single, The Drummer was indeed recieving oral-pleasure from a monkey and, as all hardened fans of Just-a-minute know, if you look very closely at the background you can see Nicholas Parsons cumming on a large baboon.

    BZZZZZ.
    NP: Clement you buzzed.

    CF: There are no hardened fans of just-a-minute. Everybody is utterly flaccid after copious repetitions of bumming Graham Norton

    GN: Well I’M still standing.

    (genteel laughter)

    NP: A point for Graham for his splendid erection. And Clement you get a point cos the audience loved what you said and it’s with Paul with two seconds on the clock, Monkey-Fucking Sicko Pervert Queers, starting… now

    The guitarist from Monkey-Fucking Sicko Pervert Queers brought AIDS back from Africa in 197…

    BZZZZ

  20. on 01 Jul 2008 at 5:06 pm   The Voice of Raisins

    Patricia is SO correct. The politically correct namby-pamby marxist Thatcher government that was in power in 1983 has a lot to answer for.

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