I don’t know if anyone here’s a fan of the ‘Biased-BBC‘ blog, but I like to think of them as a specialist version of the HYS poster, only a little more sophisticated, a little more eloquent, a little more enraged and right-wing, and of course a shitload more credulous and paranoid. Anyway, they’ve published their own letter to the editor, by ANDREW MCCANN.
FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE BBC COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT
Has the American presidential election already reached its conclusion? I have to ask since the evaporation of coverage on the BBC news since the confirmation of Barack Obama as Democrat nominee has been noted by many. The British Broadcasting Corporation was quite happy to flood news bulletins with ‘Presidential’ campaign happenings during the ‘beauty’ contest between Clinton and Obama. However, now that the BBC might just have to turn its attention to a more balanced coverage of the campaign by including Republican candidate, John McCain (remember him?), it suddenly has lost all interest.
Oh, what a beauty contest the Democrat race proved to be: both candidates filled every ‘tick-box’ on the social profiling sheet of the average Guardianista. One was a woman; the other was black. ‘Whoopee’ cried the anti-Israeli, anti-American, tree hugging news teams at the BBC. What did it matter that a potential leader of the free world should have more suitably meritocratic attributes such as intelligence, political nous, first-hand experience of America’s military engagements, an appreciation of realpolitik, and integrity? The sum total of the BBC’s analysis was preoccupied with the gender of one and the ethnicity of the other. As for the Grand Old Party, they might as well have shuffled off stage-left. The BBC, like the other Left-leaning, liberal ‘luvvies’ which dominate the European media scene, want a Democrat in the White House. Why don’t you just be honest and admit it?
I like the way “every tick box” comes to two. Whatever happened to one-legged Muslim lesbians? And look at the end: the more enraged he gets, the more he alliterates.
I am a BBC licence payer (for my sins). I want to see a Republican returned to power in the United States. I certainly do not want to see someone whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago: a man who is prepared to ‘combat’ the rise of evil terrorist Islamism by sitting down and having cosy little chats with some of its principal protagonists. When are my preferences going to be incorporated in the so-called impartial coverage your organisation is (dubiously) renowned for?
You missed a trick Andrew: not only does Obama’s paternal ancestry share the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago, but his surname is only one letter away from ‘Osama’ and his middle name is only one ‘Saddam’ away from SADDAM HUSSEIN! If you don’t put the effort in, they won’t give a shit for your “preferences”.
If and, as I expect, when John McCain is voted the 44th President of the United States will we be offered the sort of ethno-centric spite-laden coverage I expect? The sort which will feebly attempt to portray the American electorate as bunch of subliminal Alabamaesque red-necks who couldn’t bring themselves to vote for poor old Barack because he was black? I am prepared to bet money on it. For in the final analysis it is those of the Left who lionise on the basis of sociological labels, and it is those of us on the Right who prefer to view people on their genuine merits.
Yours truly
ANDREW MCCANN
I’m with you there. I respect people according to their actions. As long as they’re not female, black, muslim, poor, disabled, Iranian, Chinese, Korean, Iraqi, Palestinian, Syrian, French (um.. someone check that for me, are the French ok again now that Sarkozy’s up for killing some Iranians?), Lebanese, atheist or, God forbid, left-leaning liberal ‘luvvies’.
67 Responses to “Brace Yourself Aunty…”
“What did it matter that a potential leader of the free world should have more suitably meritocratic attributes such as intelligence, political nous, first-hand experience of America’s military engagements, an appreciation of realpolitik, and integrity?”
And yet they still voted in Bush Jr.
One thing Andy has obviously missed is that the real reason the BBC has ‘lost interest’ in the US elections, is that once the candidates are chosen in the primaries, the whole thing goes on hold until the autumn when the election proper starts – but then he doesn’t seem the sort of person to allow such inconvenient things as reality to get in the way of a good rant.
I honestly though that was gonna be a rant at ‘why the fuck do we need coverage of the American election?’ type hatred. Instead it was a rant at needing more and better coverage to the American election.
Can someone tell Andrew that if he wants baised right wing American election coverage, he can now access Fox news on Sky Digikal
“Credulous Nincompoops and Delusions of Grandeur and Outsiders and Plain Weird and Racists and Self-appointed Sages and Unfocused Rage”.
Our Andrew really did have a good go at ticking all Nelson’s boxes.
Somehow I knew after the first set of ‘quotation marks’ they wouldn’t be the ‘last’. What is ‘it’ with opinionated dicks and ‘constant’ quoting’?’
I imagine they had some kind of essay contest and picked his because it uses sentences and paragraphs and stuff.
That’s a lot of words to say not very much.
Hmm, “subliminal”… I do not think that word means etc. etc.
Unless he thinks that Alabama’s rednecks are capable of influencing people’s behaviour without them realising it, by hypnosis or something.
Perhaps we should have a new category: People Who Use Big Words Wrongly
“I am a BBC licence payer (for my sins). I want to see a Republican returned to power in the United States.”
I’m confused. Does Andrew think that the BBC has a direct impact on the outcome of the American election? Does he think that the majority of BBC readers have a vote in the American election? Does he think he has a vote?
And it’s either a ‘beauty’ contest or a beauty contest Andrew. Make your mind up.
Christ there are some scary people on that Biased-BBC blog;
“Huw Edwards always struck me as more of a wanker than a twat. But he’s probably one of the better presenters. I mean, he’s nowhere near as bad as that guy whose teeth no longer fit in his mouth, who used to be some sort of African correspondent, whose name I haven’t bothered to commit to memory. Now he’s a twat.
Anyway, Huw Edwards is white and male. We won’t have to put up with him for much longer.”
Gibby Haynes
Gibby Haynes….wanker or twat?
Man the whole Obama is black and a muslim.
What about McCain, he spent 5 years as a POW in Vietnam, that coulkd be like 5 years of evil commie brainwashing!!!!!
But this doesn’t matter as he is white and not a muslim like Obama who everyone knows isn’t a muslim….
“someone whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago”
That’s a very long-winded way of saying “black”, right?
Gibby Haynes was the lead singer with the legendary Butthole Surfers. He’s got a Wikipedia page and everything. Hard to reconcile the creator of Hairway To Steven and Cream Corn From The Socket Of Davis with his stated views here. Maybe this is satire at such a rarefied level I’ve missed it completely (i.e. it’s not really him). Or maybe he’s just a twat.
Do you think he’s going to realise that coverage of the lection has faded because the primaries are over?
And that the Obama Clinton coverage went on longer because … erm they took longer to vote for their nominee?
On a daft racist note:
I would much rather “lionise” than “demonise”. Surely its better to say nice things about sociological labels than nasty things.
No, it’s a mildly rational-looking way of saying “Even if he’s not a Muslim, that doesn’t mean he’s not a Muslim”.
My paternal ancestry really likes cricket. JUST LIKE ROBERT MUGABE.
As an unbearably average guardianista, I’d like to share my “social profiling sheet” with the readers of all other papers. Perhaps Daily Mail readers might find it a useful tool for surveying a new area before buying that difficult second home?
GAURDIANISTA [sic] SOCIAL PROFILING SHEET
Please tick any of the following that apply.
Are you:
a) A woman and\or black?
[end of sheet]
(I can’t add the tick boxes here, so please draw these in yourselves around any ticks. Thank you.)
> I am a BBC licence payer (for my sins).
It’s not for your sins, it’s because you bought a television. Chuck that out, no more license fee.
> I certainly do not want to see someone whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago
Right. All Muslims are terrorists, just like all Catholics are kiddy-fiddlers.
Andrew McCann, I’d love to see how you react when you have an actual problem to deal with, instead of this pointless bullshit. If you don’t like the BBC’s American news coverage, don’t watch it.
If Andrew Mccann likes republican voting redneck moron badlands with John Mccain on the TV 24/7 so much HE SHOULD GO AND LIVE THERE.
and why isn’t this guy an animal fanny?
Fucking hell…
Words fail me.
That Biased BBC blog is like some depressing mirror image of this site…
Like what we would be like if we had exactly the opposite political views and a proportionately inverse sense of humour.
It makes me feel a bit ill reading it.
Others have hinted at this, but…
Shome mishtake shurely?
Imagine my surprise to scroll down the page of Biased BBC (Squawking Morons, more like) and see the headline:
SAINT NELSON
can anyone explain what this sentence from the second HYS actually means?
I think it means you’ve posted in the wrong thread.
he can spell and write a proper sentence, but he’s still a racist and a sexist cunt who could use a good beating to his face (which is abnormally dented to the right)
Alex, you are very dishonest.
Andrew McCann wrote this letter entirely on his own. He is a friend of David Vance, who is the head moderator. Vance posted the letter for the enjoyment of Biased BBC commenters.
You obviously assume that your readers here won’t bother to actually read the thread accompanying the letter, and decided to lie about it and let them us their imagination instead. While most people agreed with the main thrust of McCann’s letter, certain details stood out as wrong. In fact, pretty much everyone vehemently disagreed with McCann’s contention that Obama was somehow “connected” to Islam, as well as stated disapproval of the idea that we should discriminate simply because of religion.
This letter does not represent Biased BBC, nor any of its moderators or commenters. Your statement that “they’ve published their own letter to the editor” is a lie. McCann did it on his own, and Vance decided to share it with everyone else. McCann isn’t even a regular contributor to the blog, so far as I’m aware.
And all your little friends fell for it.
No wonder you were banned from the blog for being a troll. You even said at one point that you agreed that the BBC was occasionally biased, but you just didn’t like the way Biased BBC people complained about it.
Entirely on his own? Now you’re sure he didn’t have someone to sharpen his crayons for him?
I didn’t fall for anything and I’m not little. I still had a good chuckle at it
And it was very clever of him too.
It was sort of right there on your site though, wasn’t it? If you don’t want to look like a complete arse, maybe avoid posting letters written by people who look like complete arses.
That’s true. I did read the thread following it and, in Biased-BBC’s defence, most readers thought the really, really stupid bit was really, really stupid.
Shush Jon, that is the moderate Mr Vance you are talking to, a man so intelligent that he claims it is an “allegation” that Obama is a Christian, and that association with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright gives us good reason to suspect him of being a Muslim. Learn your location you limpwristed, left-leaning, luvvie, liberal landlubber.
Oh, no. I’m an idiot. Oh well, I suppose it had to come out in the end.
I don’t even know where to start.
*Please* tell me he’s not for real?
I learnt a new word from that thread “LIBTARD”.
The bbc is biased – their persistent devotion to the bnp and the irgun is why I haven’t got a tv.
One huge problem with reading through those comments is that, due to the ubiquity of sarcasm, which in text-only form is often difficult to detect, I have no idea most of the time who’s a shrill, righteously indignant cock-touching racist, whipping themselves into a frenzy of outrage, and who isn’t. I’d like to request that David Vance get some sort of comment plug-in, whereby the paranoid right-wing alarmists’ comments are all in flaming red text, animated with bits of spittle, and on a background of St George’s Cross, whereas all the
gay agenda looney leftjew-hating savagenormal comments by rational people are rendered in a nice, calming green font.I like Preisers own “take” on the letter best.
I heard a rumour that Karl Marx was a Marxist too. He never passed it onto Groucho though.
“And all your little friends fell for it.”
I resent this scandalous implication.
I am neither little, nor Alex’s friend. Unless it’s the same Alex I went to school with. Which I doubt.
Alex,
You are a card. How’s the medication going?
Hi, my name’s David Vance.
I like to touch children and get them to touch me. But I have to keep this hidden from myself because if I find out that I’m a kiddy-fiddler, then my conservative mind will explode, and I’ll have to go back to my rock to find some other form of entertainment. Like Fox News.
I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse I am an arse
Cripes, that McCann chap really is a caribou’s love tunnel isn’t he?
“I’d prefer to see myself as a Marks & Spencer own brand Richard Littlejohn, thanks very much” Really? Way to aim high!
I like how he defends his irrational hatred of Muslims with the classic “not all Muslims are terrorists but nearly all terrorists are Muslims” line. Well, yes *nearly* all terrorists if you don’t count Basque separatists, Republican or Loyalist terrorists, mentalist white supremacist Americans etc.
Sir,
I took the implied advice at the top of this thread, and visited ‘Biased-BBC’.
As my good friend the vicar used to remark, “Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ!”
Am still reeling from a thread which basically consisted of people bemoaning the fact that Nelson Mandela hadn’t been hung as a terrorist.
Honestly, I feel dirty now.
Thanks a bunch.
I notice that on a certain website Mr. McCann has said the following piece of loveliness:
‘Trinidadians in Shropshire’? ‘Asians in Wiltshire’?
Is nowhere sacred from this ethnic locust swarm?
Dear God! Asians in Wiltshire?!?!?! Anyone would think that the British invaded India, called it British for ages, slaughtered their people, got pissy when they wanted independence and even more uptight when they started coming over here to open their bloody curry houses and corner shops and actually becoming GPs and dentists! The thankless bastards!
You’ll be keen to note the irony that while I congratulate Biased BBC for posting his letter in order to take the piss out of it, I then act like we’ve pulled some huge coup when Alex posts it in order to, er, take the piss out of it. Also, I love the refreshing taste of camel semen.
Actually I did that. And stop stealing the camel semen from my fridge.
Welcome, visitors from that blog that Alex mentioned.
Please bear in mind, as you comment, that I’d rather pass a small handful of kidney stones than have this site become any part of the Fucking Blogosphere (TM) that some people seem to piss away their lives arguing about.
In this spirit, perhaps I should also ask Alex not to post any more BraneSpeaks from blogs that publish a patently absurd letter and then feign indignance and distance themselves from it when everybody points out that it’s patently absurd.
Whilst my personal opinion on this probably closely matches Alex’s, I’m not really interested in writing it down here. I suspect nobody wants to read it either.
I sincerely hope that all at “Biased BBC” remain happy and (most importantly) very, very busy, continuing your valuable work of weeding out communists from the BBC, or whatever it is you’re up to. I’m sure it’s dead good.
Thank everyone.
ps. I swear, one more hint of a fucking blogosphere “debate” or “flamewar” on here and I’ll close the comments or something. Remember kids, the internet is shit.
So the main point is: we comment only on twats that are featured on online newspapers or other media, rather than on blogs?
Can we not just finish ourselves off here and zip up?
No, the main point is “Do whatever you want” which, coincidentally, is also what I’m doing.
The Fucking Blogosphere? Does not want
“evil-doers”?
I didn’t think that anyone this side of the Atlantic was able to use that phrase without their tongue firmly in their cheek.
I expect he was dressed up like a pilgrim at the time.
PISS UP YOUR OWN CUNT.
Just when I’m about to lose faith in humanity, you go and say a thing like that and make everything ok again. Gawd bless ya.
Not a problem.
We pick on the opinions of those too stupid to defend themselves.
Otherwise we’ll end up in some lame-o Libtard Blarxist flame war. Which would achieve nothing but gas.
As always Nelson, you express wise thoughts with elegant sarcasm.
Is he that fucking freak that stares at you on the tube for being too blonde haired and blue eyed? Tmorrow belongs to a small cat called Dave.
I hate Andrew McCann.
Ah nice one jewby.
Sorry don’t know where that came from.
Bloody Left-leaning, liberal ‘luvvies’?
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me, ummm Jim Bob Jr (for my sins)
“I certainly do not want to see someone whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago”
I just wish it had been 3,001 instead…
I, also, wish to write my name on this bit of the internets.
Nelson’s flaming up the Blarxiblogocuboid!
LOL?
Nelson, if you really don’t want this to become part of the blogosphere you should say so on twitter, then digg the tweet then put the digg thread in del.icio.us then take a picture of your screen showing it and post in flickr and then Cory Fucking Doctorow will see it and only then is it guaranteed to get the message to every last blank-eyed vacuous turd that makes up the Web 2.0 “revolution.”
Oooh ooh.. can I have a “Tag Cloud”? And a “Clickstream”?
You need a special macguffin for your site, because in the Web 2.0 long tail social economy your content doesn’t matter any more, only whether you have some irritating and pointless social gizmo. I propose you add the “golivethere” so that when a post comes up by which you think your friend would be particularly amused, you can send them a “golivethere” to alert them to it.
I suggest this “golivethere” could be sent by email. But it still has to be called a golivethere because WEB 2.0 DAMMIT.
True story: Cory “Credulous twat” Doctorow has put a load of posters up on Brick Lane looking for a new office space with character. Everyone I know in the area is keeping their mouths shut, even though there’s plenty of space going. I mean, would you want to share your day with that pretentious bag of neologisms and buzzwords?
I started trying to find out who Cory Doctorow is but it made me sad so I stopped.
I was getting myself all riled up in an argument on the Wikipedia, but thanks to you Nelson, I suddenly realised, you know what, the internet IS shit, and that it doesn’t actually matter one tiny deer’s turd whether wikipedia, the blogosphere, or any other part of a computer is right or wrong, and that humanity is fucked either way.
Thank you for your wisdom Nelson, maybe you should do a webinar or something?
On the plus side if you’re sharing an office with Cory he does an excellent breakfast.
“…the other Left-leaning, liberal ‘luvvies’ which dominate the European media scene”
..yeah, like Berlusconi, you know, that wet-lefty-gaylovin’-PC-liberal, who is founder and major shareholder in Mediaset which owns most the Italian media and a chunk of Spanish telly. What a twat that McCann really is.
I read a good article about the myth of the “Liberal Media” in the West this morning. Fuckwit McCann didn’t. He was too busy getting himself angry about things that don’t exist. Probably so that he doesn’t have to confront any real issues that might require him to think in more depth than posting pompous long-winded “letters” to similarly angry right-wing nutters.