Thanks to the Domino Cat for pointing out Joy Pattinson. I’m imagining her looking a bit like Barbara Cartland: as if someone tried to use a kitchen knife and boot polish to tattoo a pair of spiders onto a 5-year old’s birthday cake.
Why is it so wrong for children to earn money when they used to be up at the crack of dawn in the UK on paper rounds? These days they either don’t want to work or are too scared to go out! I prefer to think kids have a worthwhile task than that they tote guns and knives! What is better? Knowing your kid is earning money or is out somewhere on UK streets? Some always take the negative stance. I am taking the positive one. Let then earn their keep and learn a trade. What’s wrong with that? Joy
Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland
Did you guess that the thread was about child-labour and sweatshops?
Everybody Unite! That’s what EU means to me and my own intelligence tells me it is not only a ridiculous concept but it is totally unworkable! I love French Cuisine, Italian pasta, British Fish and Chips and Greek kebabs and want to be able to go to those countries to enjoy it along with their particular culture. I HATE the European Union and anything to do with Brussels, not only a very complicated city to drive in, but still using different languages on signposts guaranteed to get you lost.Joy
Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland
Be fair. Perhaps if you give them a few days notice and let them know exactly how important you are, they’d have changed the road layout and re-painted all their signs for you.
Another MP completely off his rocker! The pubs are packed full, teenagers are drinking and binging - happy or miserable doing it? and if people are really unhappy it is because today they have too much, in fact so much, they don’t have any time to feel happy! In earlier days a bar of chocolate made a kiddie overjoyed. These days they want computers! Dare give a kid a chocolate bar for a birthday and see what unhappiness you cause, We All Have Too Much. Happiness was a puppy, a horse, a kitten..
Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland
And you’re a manatee’s salty minge.
33 Responses to “Animal Fanny Tuesdays #18”
Imagine being a member of Joy’s Gossip Posse!
Cor - the debate would be endless and rivetting…
Also, slight paedophile refernces at the end there - wanna see my puppy - it used to make kids happy!
Googled Joy, as you do, and unearthed this gem from The Times:
How is it possible all these children live below the poverty line when billions have been pouring into CHILDREN IN NEED? I should like to know just where all that money has gone and its about time contributors demanded to know where the cash landed up. Clearly somebody has it stashed away. Every year we have Children in Need and are told how many bilions have been donated. So WHERE HAS THEIR MONEY GONE? And I do mean THEIR MONEY.
Joy Pattinson, Geneva, Switzerland
Way to go, Joy.
Sounds like Joy never had too much - only a fucking zoo for starters. And she hasn’t noticed she lives in a country with four official languages. Probably spends all her time at home stuffing herself with kebabs and chocolate.
No computer for me thanks, I’ll settle for just a horse too…
Also, stop trying to excuse buying your son a “Chomp” for his birthday.
Surely if Joy sends all these little knife wielding hooligans out on paper rounds they’ll have enough money to buy their own computers/chocolate bars/puppies/horses/kittens etc.
No wonder they aren’t happy, she’s buying them things they already have!
She flatters herself by saying she has her own intelligence. I think she borrowed it from someone even thicker than herself. And oh the rant against Brussels again, I am not sure if she is referring to it as a city or as shorthand for the EU with some Blofeld type sitting in the Commission buildings with a white cat on his lap devising schemes to annoy all right thinking expat Brits who live in cities that close at 8pm. She is a Salamander snatch
“Nothing is being done to protect any women from rape even in developed countries so what on earth can the UN do about it especially when it is part and parcel of life in some countries. The UN is useless to do anything about it whilst it still takes place in developed countries and often the perpetrator goes off scot free. UN is composed of member countries and it is up to them to declare their outrage at rape. BBC has adequately focussed on rape in many countries and shown petrified women.Joy”
I, like Joy, obviously believe that it becomes the women of poorer countries to wait their turn to stop getting raped, and just lie back and think of the British women whose freedom from sexual violence must obviously take a higher priority. Indeed, as rape is “part and parcel” of life in “some countries”, perhaps we should start exporting our British rapists and giving them to foreign kiddies for their birthdays. I know it is not a horse or a puppy, but they must be used to being raped by now, and can maybe get a piggy-back ride after being brutally molested. But will they be grateful? NO!
“BBC has adequately focussed on rape in many countries and shown petrified women.Joy”
Sounds like she’s well pleased at seeing all that rape. Petrified women? Horray!
Well for a start, they could stop doing it themselves.
Joy probably believes that she shows nothing but concern for the downtrodden and poor.
She’s exactly the sort of arrogant, bleating twat who wants to weep for the poor starving children one minute and the next to complain that it costs a whole day’s wages to fly to her holiday home in the Med.
I’ve got it all Joy! All THEIR MONEY. Right here in my pocket.
Is it billions? Or gazillions? Or maybe just oodles?
“I detest the bearded Rowan Williams and his title of ‘doctor’! This is not usually explicit in the UK where only medical doctors use the title…”
Joy Pattinson, phD, is obviously somewhat more humble than anyone else who has ever completed a doctorate.
Joy Pattinson - “Zweck: Editrice et rédactrice en langue anglaise.”
Finally, something to make me pity the Swiss…
I bet Joy got a horse.
I bet she cried, screamed and stomped her little feet until mommy and daddy bought her a big expensive horsey to show off to her mates.
Then she got bored because she couldn’t ride and cried, screamed and stomped her little feet mommy and daddy bought her a big expensive puppy to show off to her mates.
Which she never took walkies and lost interest when it got too big cos she was crying, screaming and stomping her little feet for a cute little kitten.
Ah, Strength through Joy.
Switzerland isn’t renowned as the motorist’s friend Joy.
That gives rise to the rather worrying notion that she wouldn’t mind if the EU instituted a policy of shooting anyone born on a Thursday in the head, so long as they sped up the traffic light phasing on Brussels High Street.
I like how Joy promotes newspaper rounds as a means for kids to earn money and then asks if we’d rather they were doing that or ‘out on some UK street’. Where is she expecting them to deliver their papers?
A horse costs more than a chocolate bar.
Unless the chocolate bar is being used to conceal drugs.
Now I’m wondering what happens if the horse eats the chocolate, but that wasn’t where I wanted to get to.
if her “own intelligence” tells her that the main drawback of the EU is the bilingual signs in Bruxelles, well then she’s pretty fucked up
I hope she has the notion that they’ll use their knives to poke the papers through the letterbox.
I look nothing like Barbara Cartland.
*harumphs*
Try dipping your face in pink icing.
“I HATE the European Union and anything to do with Brussels”
No sprouts for Joy, then?
Drinking *and* binging? At the same time? I usually do my binging sober.
Or perhaps she’s making a reference to the noises that fruit machines make.
She lives near me. Occasionally even in Geneva! Please don’t let this put you off wine from Rolle, it’s very drinkable. Maybe this was all on the day when all the winemakers opened up their cellars to the public and everybody got trashed for free?
Her stupid twitterings are only outranked by Topsy Tuvey’s pompous twat offerings. Balancing out things nicely at the other extreme is that regular HYS contributor and smug ‘do-good but as effective as a fart in a thunderstorm’ arse wipe LiberalLeftAndProud.
errr…. I meant Topsy TuRvey - doh!
Aren’t kebabs originally a Turkish dish?
Feel free to shoot me down on this one, I have done no research to back up my claim. Then again, I doubt Joy did any either.
Very nice imaging on Babs Cartland- that is now my favourite quote about her.
The unseated previous winner was Clive James - “her eyes resemble the corpses of two crows that have crashed into a chalk cliff” in case any readers missed it.
Did he write that in his BBC column? Because I gave up reading that a few weeks after it started when it became clear that the Clive James I enjoy reading - the witty, sarcastic one with the effortless turn of phrase - had been replaced with a doddery old man with nothing better to do than write formless twaddle about how he doesn’t understand his video but that Paris Hilton is quite pretty.
Is she insane? Sending kiddies out on paper rounds will expose them to pot-crazed Rastafarians, lurking paedophiles and the Daily Mail.