Miscellaneous Prats and Unfocused Rage02 Jul 2008 12:14 pm

Big Brother’s Birthday Bash

By Alex

I’ve made the “I’ll cry if I want to” joke and wondered if it’s April 1st. Now I need a real opinion. But I haven’t read the story (about a Swedish boy’s birthday party). I know! I’ll take absolutely everything I know about Sweden and mix it with absolutely everything I know about politics. That should just about get me up to five lines.

Last time I looked Sweden was a socialist, leftist nation. Need I say more??

keith l

I’d go with less.

It’s okay, he’s Swedish.

The anguish will live within him for another 20 years, at which point he’ll drive his Volvo into Stockholm harbour, while listening to a particularly morbid Abba song.

Possibly.

[TheMaskedMarvel]

What a bunch of whining mamby pambys. How Orwellian. This has to be a direct result of the severe alcoholism problems in Sweden. Does this mean that had I lived in Sweden I must buy a Saab AND a Volvo so neither is put off!?

Gemma Keates, Cambridge, United Kingdom

You forgot the porn and the lovely blonde ladies.

Does that mean that if a Swedish girl sleeps with one person in her school, she’s got to sleep with the whole bloody school? Teachers included?

Just Someone

And you forgot everything else. Thus is balance restored.

Another good reason for the human rights act to be abolished, as it’s plainly open to abuse.

bob, uk

We have a winner! Congratulations Bob. You forgot it was Sweden. First prize!

28 Responses to “Big Brother’s Birthday Bash”

  1. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:58 pm   Sion Graham

    Something about Ikea.

  2. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:06 pm   Edwin

    Yeah! Get rid of human rights!

    Bloody nuisance that thing.

    Oh, and while I’m at it, shoot all forrin types, just in case.

  3. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:07 pm   Briantist

    I’m having “particularly morbid Abba song” as my oxymoron of the week.

  4. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:10 pm   Mr Cat

    How did you miss this one?

    The ludicrous article from Sweden is just typical of the molicuddled, artificial world children live in, suspended from reality, where everything is like playing a computer game.

    No doubt the brats who instigated legal action were encouraged by equally odious and grasping parents, out for a bit of ‘compo’.

    What a disgusting society we live in.

    Withnail Xtreme, Camden Town

    I think its more discugting to include grasping Compo in this. Last of the Summer wine is hardly offensive television. Bill Owen must be spinning in his grave.

  5. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:46 pm   Far-Q MiSc LSD KFC and Bar (-o-)

    >Does that mean that if a Swedish girl sleeps with one person in her school, she’s got to sleep with the whole bloody school? Teachers included?

    This is wishful thinking by Just Someone, rather than an argument.

    Probably a teacher.

  6. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:46 pm   Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    “The ludicrous article from Sweden is just typical ….where everything is like playing a computer game”

    What? How? I don’t see the link at all.

    Also, people saying “I didn’t get invited. I’m considering legal action. Ho ho ho” is one of the most tiresome jokes ever to grace about 100 different posts on HYS.

  7. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:56 pm   Sam

    You never know… if this passes through in court, it may end up that there’s free Swedish girls for everyone. Teachers, doctors, engineers, whoever. And that world can only be a good one.

  8. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:00 pm   arsebanana

    But its still ok to have those parties where you only invite ugly girls for a laugh?

  9. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:08 pm   Mr Cat

    “The ludicrous article from Sweden is just typical ….where everything is like playing a computer game”

    What? How? I don’t see the link at all

    Shhhh … I’m developing a computer game right now where you control a child trying to get through primary school by being popular. The aims is to accumulate jelly and ice cream points by being invited to parties. Its a bit like the sims. I’m going to call it “the molicuddled, artificial world children live in”

  10. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:14 pm   Simon

    “This has to be a direct result of the severe alcoholism problems in Sweden.”
    ===================
    well yeah needless to say. i’d blame the TAX on alcohol too for good measure

  11. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:39 pm   lisa simpson

    gemma keates’ comment says

    How Orwellian.

    to which the best response would be

    Orwellian How??

  12. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:42 pm   philbert

    Bill Owen must be spinning in his grave

    Nah, he’s plummeting down a hill in an old tin bath on wheels.

  13. on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:43 pm   Adrian

    My Mum danced on Bill Owen’s grave.

    Well… I say ‘danced’… it was more like a stumbly kind of jig which happened because she somehow managed to trip over the bloody thing.

  14. on 02 Jul 2008 at 4:02 pm   DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells

    PISS YOUR OWN DOGS SHIT OUT OF YOUR MOTHERS SALTY URETHRA.

  15. on 02 Jul 2008 at 4:04 pm   RJ

    You missed out my favourties!
    ………………………………….

    Forget the kids, I have woes ever year. My birthday is Valentines day. Try organising anything then. You can’t be spontanious, unless it’s 8 months in advance. If you do get to go anywhere you get ripped. No one sends you flowers because they are priced through. And try organising a party. Everyone is doing their own thing with partner. Happy birthday? Can’t think the last time I enjoyed it or ever will.
    karen smith, milton keynes

    Recommended by 4 people
    OH AND…

    Added: Monday, 30 June, 2008, 18:48 GMT 19:48 UK
    When i have a party, birthday or otherwise. I eat the fruitcakes, not invite them to the party or let then know i am having one, especially political fruitcakes.
    I thought a party was about enjoying yourself not having to put up with some fruitcake ramming political correctness down your throat.
    [TalkativeChap], Salisbury, United Kingdom
    Recommended by 4 people

  16. on 02 Jul 2008 at 5:36 pm   Clara Belle

    Does that mean that if a Swedish girl sleeps with one person in her school, she’s got to sleep with the whole bloody school? Teachers included?

    Probably only if the girl sleeps with one person on school property

  17. on 02 Jul 2008 at 5:36 pm   Clara Belle

    Gah! Bollocksed up the blockquote!

    ed: unbolloxed!

  18. on 02 Jul 2008 at 6:08 pm   Rancid Randle

    Swedes! The Bastards. When they’re not hugging muslims or kow-towing to knifechavs, they’re shagging themselves senseless in saunas full of gorgeous, sweaty, uninhibited blondes.

    PC Loonies! How dare they tell us how to live? Oooh… I’ve gotta Nokia in my Saab that plays ABBA. Big Deal, Sven, now fuck off.

  19. on 02 Jul 2008 at 6:16 pm   Is it me or them?

    Another good reason for the human rights act to be abolished, as it’s plainly open to abuse.

    bob, uk

    couldn’t the same arguement be made for your tiny, chafed cock, bob?

  20. on 02 Jul 2008 at 8:19 pm   Steve B.Sc (Hons) (St And)

    “Does that mean that if a Swedish girl sleeps with one person in her school, she’s got to sleep with the whole bloody school? Teachers included?”

    They really should extend that sort of law to Universities. I need somewhere to do a postgraduate degree, and places where orgies are required to happen by law really rank high on my list.

  21. on 02 Jul 2008 at 9:19 pm   _f

    Meatballs! No-one mentioned meatballs!

  22. on 02 Jul 2008 at 10:43 pm   Yowdie

    FUCKWITS. everybody’s a FUCKWIT.

  23. on 03 Jul 2008 at 2:28 am   arsebanana (phd dso victoria cross king of turkey etc)

    what is this with everyone putting their fucking qualifications? do you think you look less of a cunt just because you spent three years smoking pot on my taxes? eh?

  24. on 03 Jul 2008 at 11:05 am   The Go-Nutteer (MA Cantab) (BAGA 1)

    I think you had to be there.

  25. on 03 Jul 2008 at 11:12 am   sieve (M, STR, GSOH, N/S, NBM )

    arsebanana – being a scot, i look even less of a cunt, because i managed to spend FOUR years smoking pot on your taxes

  26. on 03 Jul 2008 at 5:29 pm   Katie (MSc, FUNEX, SVFX)

    There’s a Swedish guy who works in our building. I’m tempted to throw a party and invite everyone except him, and see what trouble I get in.

    Although, he has already slept with everyone in the department.

    /slander

  27. on 04 Jul 2008 at 12:50 am   Matt

    Last time I looked Sweden was a socialist, leftist nation. Need I say more??

    Ah – but when was the last time you looked? They might well have changed their whole political system by now – they’re shifty little buggers, the Swedes, on account of being forrun.

  28. on 07 Jul 2008 at 12:41 pm   Very Tenables

    The tone of Masked Marvel puts me in mind of a Viz Letterbocks submission, suggesting humorous intent.

    Same goes for Gemma Keates.

    Pity it didn’t work, reallly.

    Point is, it looks like there are 5th columnists infiltrating HYS land.