Miscellaneous Prats and Self-appointed Sages02 Jul 2008 10:10 am

Even *I* Thought This Went Too Far

By Nelson

Thanks to Joe and Jonny and possibly other people for this first one. From the thread about the “Heinz Gay Kiss“.

I also did a double take when I saw this advert. Having grown up in the era where homosexuality is regularly shown on screen even I thought this was a step too far. It is not only unnecessary and confusing for young children, but also serves to emasculate the man even further. He is essentially ordered to kiss the “Deli Chef” which he does full on the lips. This emasculation of the male character within household adverts is insidious with many adverts of today, now showing men being bullied into homosexual acts in their own kitchens is taking it to a new extreme.
Andy, Stourbridge

I can’t imagine anything more extreme. Unless it involved erect cocks, arseholes, tongues, strawberries and a man wearing nothing but socks, tied to the radiator, with someone else’s ballsack in his mouth.

I found these in the same thread:

A cynical publicity stunt by Heinz. I hope their shock tactics fail miserably. Heinz have offended both homosexual militants and normal people, albeit for opposite reasons. Now everyone can boycott Heinz to protest at their inconsiderate behaviour.
Andy, London

I wonder whether Andy classes himself as a “homosexual militant” or a “normal”?

The real question is - “Is homosexuality legally acceptable as a lifestyle in Britain?” If the answer is no then ban away. If the answer is yes, then you are submitting the censorship laws to the often biased/bigoted views of the non-homosexual majority. The larger question might be: “Should we fully inform children that there are both heterosexual and homosexual alternatives and let them see role models and examples of each in the media?” If we are not going to inform them thus, aren’t we simply saying that heterosexuality is the default position - heterosexuality is the only OK form of sexuality to show to children? Is not this a meta-prejudice demonstrating that all other alternatives are inferior, subordinate and morally suspicious?
Nigel McBain, Kingston upon Thames, England

Cheers Nigel. It’s good to see someone standing up and saying… um.. whatever you said. You are teh intellechule uber-librul.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this next one before. Someone’s probably sent it to me already. Sorry, I forget everything.

I was appalled at the advert. Having young children calling a man “mum” was sad, confusing, and so very wrong. Seeing same sex kissing is stomach-churning to most people who are not homosexual. Please keep adverts to appeal to the majority. I feel this was possibly deliberate to get discussion going and to brain wash people into eventually seeing these things as normal. What a sad reflection on life today.
Joan Bailie, Grimsby, Lincs, UK

It’s all part of the Heinz agenda to turn our kids gay. Everyone knows gayz buyz beanz.

39 Responses to “Even *I* Thought This Went Too Far”

  1. on 02 Jul 2008 at 10:34 am   James not from Sussex

    When will Heinz learn that we’ll only tolerate homosexuals on our television as long as they’re swishy, ineffective mincers? If they’d had a Larry Grayson lookalike flinging great salty gobs of mayo into the delighted faces of Graham Norton and Paul O’Grady we could have had a hearty laugh and a sausage innuendo and we wouldn’t have had to consider the awful prospect that if a gay can be a normal person with a proper profession, I might have been in contact with one at the Post Office or on on the bus!

  2. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:05 am   Hektor

    Nigel McBain got book tokens for Christmas.

  3. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:07 am   Paul D. Waite

    Homosexual militants. Not the toughest fighters, but oh, you should see their camouflage outfits.

    > I feel this was possibly deliberate to… brain wash people into eventually seeing these things as normal.

    Exactly. No doubt their next advert will feature one of those horrible interracial marriages.

  4. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:35 am   Gilbert Wham

    The whole farrago is merely an abortive attempt to brainwash the nations youth into believing that their ‘mayo’ is an acceptable alternative to good old-fashioned heterosexual Hellman’s. DISGUSTING!
    End of.

  5. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:48 am   Internation Leg Warmers Society

    Ah, the ‘normal’ thing again. People in wheelchairs is not normal but, nobody ever tells them they’re going to Hell…

    Except me now.

    “Go to Hell crips!”

  6. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:56 am   Dr Poo

    I haven’t seen the ad in question but I can only imagine it shows a pair of filthy homos doing a rainbow kiss, or similar. Disgusting! What’s next, gays getting married? Whoops, they already do! Thanks a lot Heinz, I hope you’re happy with the hell on earth you’ve created!

  7. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:58 am   Mr Cat

    Brilliant - this thread again - can i stick my quantum leap quote in again?

  8. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:58 am   Oliver

    Normally I wouldnt have much sympathy but some poor sod in the marketing department of Heinz might well have lost their job over this nonsense.

    I bet when they had a meeting with the agency and were presented with the finished 30 second TV ad the marketing manager went home feeling really pleased with themself that they had come up with something eye catching and very nearly mildly amusing.

    What could possibly go wrong? They must have thought as he/she drove home imagining the almost certain promotion/better car/nicer house that would soon follow off the success of their creative genius.

    Imagine the disapopintment when the barrage of emails came tumbling in from middle England.

  9. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:22 pm   The Go-nutteer

    Nigel McBain has earned himself a submisson to Pseud’s corner

  10. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:23 pm   rich (mmath)(Oxon)`

    LOL @ Andy, Stourbridge “doing a double take” at the heinz advert. What is he, Daffy Duck?

    I’m still confused as to which man is being emasculated in the ad. Are they both? Neither? What is a man these days anyway? Answers on a postcard.

    And yes you can, Mr Cat. Provided I can say “gayonnaise” again.

  11. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:26 pm   JonR

    “I feel this was possibly deliberate to get discussion going and to brain wash people into eventually seeing these things as normal.” -Joan Bailie, Grimsby, Lincs, UK

    i used to live in grimsby. if you actually tried to wash one of these ingrates brains, you’d lose it down the plughole.

  12. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:40 pm   Em

    All this fuss is nearly enough to make me wish I watched adverts, instead of muting them and looking away.

  13. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:43 pm   7rew

    We should get them under section 28 for promoting* homosexuality. Oh no we repealed that! Its PC gone mad I tells ya.

    *For promoting read “not actively denegrating”.

    For the record its not Normal to feel sick at that advert, unless you are allergic to the sight of mayo and even that is a bit strange.

    Anyone want to bet on the number of complaints a version involving two women would get.

    I’ll go with 7, 6 complaining that the women involved aren’t hot enough.

  14. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:44 pm   Mr Cat

    It is not a gay kiss “Mum” has been taken over by the Deli man, in a “Quantum Leap” kind of a way.

    Repetition rules.

  15. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:54 pm   Nelson

    All this fuss is nearly enough to make me wish I watched adverts, instead of muting them and looking away.

    I mute them and play the guitar cos I’m a fucking hippy. If you watch an hour of telly, you get at least 15 minutes guitar practice. Often you get a lot more because you forget to carry on watching whatever bollocks you accidentally sat in front of.

  16. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:32 pm   Magpie

    The gays giving ‘mayo’ a white substance to children, open your eyes people.
    Heinz is promoting pedo-gayism as normal.

  17. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:39 pm   mickey

    why stop at banning gay kissing on tv?

    lets ban ugly people kissing.

    and

    larger ladies in swimsuits.

  18. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:48 pm   Sam

    Homosexual militants sounds like something from the 60s version of Batman.

  19. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:50 pm   Rich (MMath)(Oxon)

    Nelson, you lame-ass. Go get a job during advert breaks.

  20. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:51 pm   Civil Homosexual

    Heinz have offended both homosexual militants and normal people, albeit for opposite reasons.

    I could never be a militant homosexual - they get you up at 6am for Pride March drill. And if your mince isn’t good enough, you’re shot on site.

    The funniest thing about this advert is that the Advertising Standards Agency placed a restriction on the advert that meant it couldn’t be shown during children’s programming. Not because of the same sex kissing, but because of the high fat, salt and sugar content of the product.

    Although everyone knows proper gays eat light mayo. . .

  21. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:53 pm   arsebanana

    If you watch an hour of telly, you get at least 15 minutes guitar practice.

    When do you skin up?

  22. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:00 pm   Scribbles

    Yay! We’ve started being thick enough to take adverts completely literally! I’m going to complain to the Frosties people that their adverts encourage tots to make friends with tigers, and accuse the Andrex people of Witchcraft for teaching a puppy to speak with the voice of Rik Mayall.

    IT’S HELL ON EARTH, PEOPLE!!!

  23. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:13 pm   Far-Q

    I find if you watch pron videos you don’t get advert breaks, therefore to stop this filth infecting the children every TV in the land should screen Debbie Does Dallas 24/7/365.

  24. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:23 pm   Alex

    I mute them and play the guitar cos I’m a fucking hippy. If you watch an hour of telly, you get at least 15 minutes guitar practice. Often you get a lot more because you forget to carry on watching whatever bollocks you accidentally sat in front of.

    Bad idea. I did that the other day and almost missed naked breasts.

  25. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:27 pm   Nelson

    When do you skin up?

    Duh. I get the missus to do it.

  26. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:42 pm   Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    [\quote Anyone want to bet on the number of complaints a version involving two women would get. \quote]

    Loads. From those bloody feminists with nothing better to do. They’d probably say that “they’d never do an advert with 2 men kissing” too.

  27. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:43 pm   Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    also

    How do you quote and not look like a spacker?

  28. on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:51 pm   ProperGay

    “Although everyone knows proper gays eat light mayo. . .”
    I don’t - I have an egg allergy. How gay is that?

  29. on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:29 pm   Rich(MMath)(Oxon)

    Egg allergies are really gay.

    I have a sperm allergy. I get nauseous whenever I see any gay activity.

    That’s why I’m so goddam straight.

  30. on 02 Jul 2008 at 4:54 pm   Helen

    Rick you do this;

    <blockquote>
    then put your quote in there and end it with
    </blockquote>

  31. on 02 Jul 2008 at 4:54 pm   Helen

    how the fuck did that go so wrong?

    See I can do it.</blockquote>

  32. on 02 Jul 2008 at 4:57 pm   Please work this time

    Well I could! Nelson if you wanted to sort that out so I didnt look like an idiot that would be great.

    What a sad reflection on life today.

    Yes you are Joan.

  33. on 02 Jul 2008 at 5:08 pm   Nelson

    I edited your first one so it’s right. Then edited your second one so it’s still wrong but at least you can see it.

    Now it’s only slightly confusing and you only look slightly daft. My work here is done.

  34. on 02 Jul 2008 at 5:25 pm   Em

    “I mute them and play the guitar cos I’m a fucking hippy”

    My ‘cello’s a bit on the bulky side for keeping down the side of the sofa and the piano won’t even fit in the same room. So I just skin up instead….

  35. on 02 Jul 2008 at 5:40 pm   Neil M

    Please - can we have more praise for the ‘Gayz Buyz Beanz’ gag - I read that about an hour ago and only just stopped laughing to applaud it.

  36. on 02 Jul 2008 at 6:10 pm   Rich(MMath)(Oxon

    So this should work then:

    bigoted tripe

  37. on 02 Jul 2008 at 6:16 pm   Nelson

    It did.. but only because something fixed your broken HTML.

    You need to add a closing tag as well… so you open with ‘blockquote’ in angle braces (”less than” and “greater than” signs to you) and close with ‘/blockquote’ in angle braces. Exactly as in Helen’s first example above.

  38. on 02 Jul 2008 at 9:50 pm   Rosa

    Nigel McBain should be knighted. Everyone else shot at dawn.

    And I agree with Neil M. Gayz Buyz Beanz was a stroke of genius.

  39. on 04 Jul 2008 at 7:18 pm   James (different James)

    “Homosexual militants sounds like something from the 60s version of Batman.”

    Weren’t Batman and Robin homosexual militants in the sixties?