Miscellaneous Prats and Retired Colonels and Werthers Original Imperialists02 Jul 2008 09:35 am

More Complaints Log

By Nelson

Give thanks for the latest installment. I’m still sat on a pile of these. Quality.

RADIO 2
“Why is the BBC using Fahrenheit instead of Celsius? It is political propaganda in my opinion.”

“In this country legislation forbids the use of meters for distance. The use of the word ‘meters’ on the programme during the coverage of the earthquake in China really irritates me as a result.”

Shhhh. We’re lulling them into a false sense of security. Then Sebastian Coe is going to win the Olympics by running 400 yards instead of 400 meters. He’ll be wearing union-jack knickerbockers and an admiral’s hat.

RADIO 4
“There was very childish humour on the programme. All the talk of bums and tits was not funny and encourages bad language in children.”

It’s the only thing that makes “Go For It!” bearable.

NEWS AT 10
Re. Chinese Earthquake: “The BBC News is focusing on Schools. If an earthquake hits any part of Britain. We would have calamity on an enormous scale. Why are the BBC focusing on Schools. There are other public buildings that have been badly affected as well.”

Too right. Let’s get the library up and running first, or the kids will have nowhere to borrow books from when we’ve dug them out from under 5 meters of collapsed concrete.

THE ONE SHOW
“Neil Oliver said that potatoes used to cost a farthing a stone but I think it was actually one and four pence a stone.”

I’m pretty sure it was one and five pence. We can’t ALL be right.

READY STEADY COOK
Feels that Ainsley Harriott is a poor presenter. “His personal hygiene is disgusting. He never washes his hands before preparing food and has no consideration for the people who are eating his dishes.”

You’ve achieved something that I thought was impossible and made me want to defend that gurning nincompoop.

22 Responses to “More Complaints Log”

  1. on 02 Jul 2008 at 9:42 am   The Great Healer

    Shurely shome mishtake.
    As any fule kno, it’s “metre”.

  2. on 02 Jul 2008 at 10:15 am   Mr Cat

    Why are the BBC focusing on Schools. There are other public buildings that have been badly affected as well.

    Exactly! How will visitors find their way around during the Olympics if the earthquake has destroyed all the tourist offices? Selfish BBC, schools do not concern us!

    I love these complaints so much that they should have their own mini site – like the twit-o-tron.

  3. on 02 Jul 2008 at 10:18 am   Nelson

    As any fule kno, it’s “metre”.

    We should start a whole new category for people who use American spellings to complain about metrification destroying our GREAT BRITISH EMPIRE.

  4. on 02 Jul 2008 at 10:19 am   Nelson

    I love these complaints so much that they should have their own mini site – like the twit-o-tron.

    Perhaps I should devote a category to them.

  5. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:09 am   Hektor

    I suspect that Ainsley Harriott wipes his nob in the salad when nobody is looking.

  6. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:10 am   Paul D. Waite

    > Why is the BBC using Fahrenheit instead of Celsius? It is political propaganda in my opinion.

    How on earth can people care so much about something as trivial as Celsius versus Fahrenheit?

    KELVINS OR DEATH

  7. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:28 am   philbert

    The Kelvin scale is great, it makes things seems so much warmer. It’s a balmy 295 degrees out at the moment.

  8. on 02 Jul 2008 at 11:52 am   The City of Ghent

    Legislation forbids the use of metres for distance in this country? That sounds suspiciously like a fiction being used to back up a poor and unworkable argument to me. Hooray!

  9. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:29 pm   Rich(MMath(Oxon))

    They’re both wrong about the potatoes. They used to cost £1.05 a kilo when I went shopping. Last week.

  10. on 02 Jul 2008 at 12:30 pm   Rich(MMath(Oxon))

    I also didn’t see Delia Smith wipe her arse. She’s a fucking tramp.

  11. on 02 Jul 2008 at 1:36 pm   Sam

    RADIO 4
    “There was very childish humour on the programme. All the talk of bums and tits was not funny and encourages bad language in children.”

    So, they’re using childish bad language, which presumably comes from children, to encourage bad language in children, on a radio station that only autistic children listen to?

    Anyway, what’s wrong with talking about tramps and small birds?

  12. on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:21 pm   Alex

    Legislation forbids the use of metres for distance in this country? That sounds suspiciously like a fiction being used to back up a poor and unworkable argument to me. Hooray!

    No, it actually is illegal.

  13. on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:27 pm   Maureen

    Wow, that Active Resistance to Metrification website is amazing!

    [quote]Five members set up the group and it has now grown to dozens.[/quote]
    Says it all, really.

  14. on 02 Jul 2008 at 3:31 pm   Far-Q

    IT IS ILLEGAL???//?? WHATS’ THE WOLRD COMMING TO. I BLAM ETHE FRENCH!!11!oneone!!

  15. on 02 Jul 2008 at 4:37 pm   Alex

    It gets better. They were founded by the famous Tony Bennett. Not Tony Bennett, the easy-listening legend, Tony Bennett, the UKIP-Veritas politician.

  16. on 02 Jul 2008 at 6:13 pm   James not from Sussex

    Wow, that Active Resistance to Metrification website is amazing!

    [quote]Five members set up the group and it has now grown to dozens.[/quote]
    Says it all, really.

    No, it was set up by 5000 millimembers and now it has on the order of decamembership.

  17. on 02 Jul 2008 at 7:26 pm   howfar

    Yes, metric units are proscribed for use on road signs. But unless the M2 goes a LOT further east than I had been informed, I don’t think that the BBC are in too much trouble.

  18. on 02 Jul 2008 at 10:49 pm   773 (imperial)

    Mr Doggett was metric educated at school. However…He had no idea what ’1.4m’ meant…”If I’d known the passageway was less than 5 feet in height, I wouldn’t have used it. I know my car’s around 5 feet high. The figures ’1.4m’ meant absolutely nothing to me”

    So he got his car stuck in the passageway and charged the local authorities to have it repaired. Some people want fucking hanging.

  19. on 03 Jul 2008 at 12:49 am   Joe

    Yeah the Active Resistance to Metrification site is not only bizarre, it’s also dreadful – it’s so 1998!

    Also, to say they’re real sticklers for councils following the rules and regulations, their website fails to validate in a major way, making it difficult for people with disabilities to access their site.

    I don’t mind hypocrites, it’s just that I can’t stand them…

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  21. on 08 Jul 2008 at 5:01 pm   Neon

    READY STEADY COOK
    Feels that Ainsley Harriott is a poor presenter. “His personal hygiene is disgusting. He never washes his hands before preparing food and has no consideration for the people who are eating his dishes.”

    Oh dear, seems that the HYS goons are beginning to influence the media:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7495472.stm

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