Retired Colonels14 Jul 2008 03:33 pm

Common

By Nelson

More complaints log. Thanks.

RADIO 4 - EXCESS BAGGAGE (TRAVEL PROGRAMME)
“Sandi Toksvig seems to be taking so many trips abroad and I hope that the BBC is not using licence fee money to pay for them.”

It’s ok, they post her.

RADIO 4 - NOW SHOW
“The guests on the programme described Gordon Brown as a ‘fat grunting Scotsman’. I believe the use of the term ‘Scotsman’ was pejorative and amounted to a racist comment. There was no need to mention that he was Scottish in a derogatory sense.”

I think the phrase they were searching for is “Englishly challenged”.

RADIO 5 LIVE - STEPHEN NOLAN
“There are too many discussions on homosexual issues. I’m sick of it.”

What do you expect on a channel with predominantly male listeners, about muscular, sweaty men and balls? Try Radio1, it’s not about anything and is aimed at people who haven’t got a fucking clue what they want.

GLASTONBURY 2008
“The quality of the camera work and singing is no better than a karaoke pub night.”

That must have been very frustrating for you. I bet you nearly turned over several times.

NEIGHBOURS
Annoyed that the BBC has lost the rights to broadcast the programme. “I can’t believe that the programme has moved.”

This was in the log for June 28th 2008. I was surprised to learn that “Neighbours” isn’t actually on the BBC any more. The last one was broadcast on the BBC on February 8th 2008 (I looked it up). Actually “surprised” is a little strong. I mean I was utterly uninterested to learn that Neighbours wasn’t on the BBC any more. But then I haven’t been tuning in and wondering what’s happened to it for three and a half months.

WIMBLEDON 2008
“Could someone please tell Sue Barker to take her hair out of her eyes, her hairstyle makes her look common.”

Sickening.

18 Responses to “Common”

  1. on 14 Jul 2008 at 3:38 pm   Fish

    Isn’t the idea of a travel programme that the presenters, erm, travel? Unless what the complainant wanted was a series of programmes on how fucking great the Liverpool Street - Clacton train service isn’t.

  2. on 14 Jul 2008 at 3:41 pm   Fish

    [Of course, the worst thing about it is you end up in Clacton.]

  3. on 14 Jul 2008 at 3:50 pm   moonshine

    Unless you go the other way…

  4. on 14 Jul 2008 at 3:51 pm   moonshine

    Not in a gay way though.

    Gays are bad.

  5. on 14 Jul 2008 at 4:14 pm   Mr Cat

    I think Neighbours is much better on 5. At last Neighbours and Home and Away under one roof.

    Next step would be to merge Summer Bay with Ramsey Street.

    Whats that?

    No-one cares?

    Oh….

  6. on 14 Jul 2008 at 4:29 pm   The Go-Nutteer

    The guests on the programme described Gordon Brown as a ‘fat grunting Scotsman’. I believe the use of the term ‘Scotsman’ was pejorative…

    …has to be a wind-up, surely? It’s the oldest joke in the book.

  7. on 14 Jul 2008 at 4:40 pm   Joe

    “There are too many discussions on homosexual issues. I’m sick of it.”

    I think this may be Retired Colonel-speak for “get this fucking queer off my radio now”.

  8. on 14 Jul 2008 at 4:42 pm   Steve

    “The quality of the camera work and singing is no better than a karaoke pub night.”

    He’s right you know, the camera work at my karaoke pub is top notch.

  9. on 14 Jul 2008 at 4:56 pm   Rob Stradling

    Bless you for “Englishly Challenged”; I will henceforth describe myself thus.

    Future claimants of UnEnglishness Benefit will no longer be judged in terms of how UnEnglish they are, but rather, how English they can be…

  10. on 14 Jul 2008 at 5:25 pm   James not from Susex

    I think this may be Retired Colonel-speak for “get this fucking queer off my radio now”.

    What it means is, “I’m sick and tired of being forced to imagine young bucks stripped naked, oiled up and sinuously caressing one another’s lithe forms, their tongues exploring every intimate fold of one another’s organs, and their muscles tensing as they cry in ecstasy at the moment of crisis. I’ve been forced to imagine it at least ten times so far today and frankly I’m rubbed so raw it looks like a pepperami.”

  11. on 14 Jul 2008 at 8:29 pm   Gob Beldof

    I hate Sandi Toksvig, not because she travels so much but because everything she says sounds like she is delivering a very bad joke.

    I am also upset at the amount of traveling that went into Michael Palin’s last program, when will this outrage end?

  12. on 14 Jul 2008 at 8:34 pm   Nelson

    Don’t be dissin’ Sandi round here pal. You are not worthy to lick her tiny, danish, elven boots.

  13. on 14 Jul 2008 at 10:48 pm   Lame Duck

    I didn’t realise calling Gob Beldof, ‘elven boots’ was an insult.

    And Gob, don’t be dissin’ Palin, neither, tired and jaded he may be, but your not worthy to lick his tiny fireman, elven boots.

    (I don’t know Nelson, it doesn’t feel very punchy, are you sure?)

  14. on 15 Jul 2008 at 2:30 am   The Gnome Secretary

    Cockfosters.

  15. on 15 Jul 2008 at 7:58 am   Sam

    RADIO 5 LIVE - STEPHEN NOLAN
    “There are too many discussions on homosexual issues. I’m sick of it.”

    What, like which skinny jeans to wear this month, and how to make that satchel look extra super?

  16. on 15 Jul 2008 at 11:08 am   philbert

    There’s definitely a niche for a “non-travel” programme, where presenters like Sandi Toksvig, or that Irish guy, sit around wishing that they could travel the world some day. A bit like Jimmy Stewart in It’s A Wonderful Life.

  17. on 15 Jul 2008 at 3:07 pm   Mr Clovis

    Sandi Toksvig is a lezzer. Once again, it’s one rule for the movies, and another for reality.

  18. on 16 Jul 2008 at 10:19 pm   Gob Beldof

    Like I said, it was ‘Adam and Eve’ not ‘Adam and Sandi Toksvig take a holiday in Majorca courtesy of the British taxpaeyer’.

    Point. Made.