Thanks to Harold. From “What are your experiences of road rage?”
I believe that in towns with socialist councils, the traffic lights are timed to cause maximum possible disruption to car drivers, especially at peak times. Traffic lights cause a lot of congestion in Blackburn, for example. Some of the light on main roads are on red for 4-5 minutes followed by 10-20 seconds on green….
[SaxonHero], Lancashire, England (not UK)
It’s not just socialist councils. Militant groups (including the dreaded PC Brigade) are meeting in secret locations and conspiring to alter the lights in even the most Conservative towns! As Karl Marx himself once said: “Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without adjusting the duty cycle of traffic lights”.
Our Tory council has replaced all of our red lights with blue ones. It’s PC gone mad, I tell you.
reminds me of this
http://xkcd.com/277/
Yes, it’s the traffic lights that cause the congestion. In the same way that hospitals make you sick and the police are responsible for crime.
Those damn sandal-hugging tofu-wearing Blarxist Guardianistas, taking away our God-given right to speed through junctions willy-nilly and smash into whatever proud British car takes our fancy! Soon the PC Brigade will be locking us up and taking away our driving licences just for ignoring socialist red lights!
And you never see black traffic lights, do you? That’s because the black ones are all at home on benefits, or out knife-criming each other while decent indigenous hard-working red, amber and green lights are paying their stealth taxes.
Next!
A journalist described Ana Ivanovic as being ‘lovely’. I think this was inappropriate.
Nah inappropriate is:
Phoar missus look at that ass, I’d give her one or two, I bet she goes like a train. Pass the zinc and castor oil cream the old bishop is getting sore wanking over a glimpse of her knickers..etc
Pass the zinc and castor oil cream my todger is getting sore because you made me look her up in Google images.
It’s your fault and you should do something about it.
The red lights in my town have little hammer-and-sickle symbols in the top left and play “The People’s Light is Brightest Red” out of a loudspeaker.
Currently most recommended is this gem:
The fact that approx 40 pedestrians are killed by cars each year, and just 1 by cyclists, just doesn’t seem to bother this very average moron.
Saxon is wrong, Envirofascist Paedo Muslims are controlling the traffic lights.
Run for the hills!
Hmm, I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure it’s still illegal to kill pedestrians. Maybe I’m wrong, though, the use of caps lock does make AnAverage Bloke seem like he knows what he’s talking about.
Hmm he claims he is not from the UK but is from England which the last time I looked was a constituent part of the UK. As a Saxon hero he must also be German. I love the idea of ’socialist’ traffic planners conspiring to advance the class war and the onward advance of the working classes by tweaking traffic lights. Sitting conspiratally in smoke filled rooms studying Engels and his contribution to ‘Traffic Management in the pre-revolutionary stage a critique of Feurbach’ in the Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte’ (Department of Transport 1998)or maybe it was the Grundrisse.
No doubt AnAverage Bloke would be 100% AGAINST congestion charging and any improvement in cycling facilities that might entail.
In which case, we cyclists will continue to make do with so-called cycle lanes that weave between the pavement and the gutter.
Beware socialists - the hair-metallers are fighting back! Quake before his stonewashed denim might you snivelling pinkos. He shall crush all before him with monster chops on the mighty axe. Weep at the riffology. Smell the glove.
[Disclaimer - His username may just be an illustration of his preference for a Yorkshire based 80's metal band so beloved of our teutonic friends. Alternatively he may just be showing everyone that "I'm not a racist but..." Decide for yourself.]
To be fair though, (and having had the misfortune of working in the godforsaken horror that is Blackburn town centre,) the traffic there is atrocious. The pedestrianised areas are badly planned, the one-way system was designed by Daedalus and the traffic-light sequences are wildly random in their application. Blackburn town centre isn’t designed for cars. Nor is it designed for public transport, pedestrians, cyclists or human beings in general.
So, (unless by socialist he means raving incompetents,) I can only deduce that he’s a dribbling, overused, ovine fanny.
Traffic engineers of all lands, unite!
Never mind the traffic lights, anyway, when are those bloody commies going to do something about the four thousand holes?
I thought the traffic lights were there to slow down all those paedos who ignore their speedos…?
Hmm… I’m noting a marked correlation between HYS stupidity and the “England Not Britain” brigade.
But aren’t they rather small? And did they have to count them all? I heard they were going to fill the albert hall.
(Gets coat)
If you ignore the socialist comment, there is an element of truth to this.
Congestion was successfully reduced at some junctions near me by removing the traffic lights. And it’s not uncommon to see traffic lights allowing a non-existent stream of traffic to proceed while real traffic waits at red.
The answer is in your own comment, Tom. “Waits at red”. At red! It’s the bloody socialists, so don’t you try to strip away the only sensible part of the comment with your long-hair and anecdotal evidence, you dirty commie rabble-rouser.
Also, if he’s a “Saxon Hero”, why doesn’t he fuck off back to Saxony. German cunt. I bet their traffic lights run on time. But they have the downside of gassing anyone in a horse-drawn caravan.
I’m sorry but not even the smart, witty, sarcastic comments can save this sorry “England (not UK)” person from me breaking down and losing the last piece of hope about humanity…
YOU FUCKING IGNORANT CUNT DICKSLAP PIECE OF SHIT MAY YOU SLOWLY BURN IN HELL
cheers
The holes are in Blackburn, so no one cares, cos it’s a shit-hole.
I also like the attitude of the people who cry,
“I’m not from the UK, I’m from England!”
“OK then, so, round four: is the Queen the Queen of (a) England & Wales, (b) Scotland, or (c) Both?”
“Erm… I’ll go for (c) please, Chris.”
“You sure? Don’t want to phone a friend, you ignorant piece of horse shit?”
“No, definitely (c).”
“Well in that case, then, it’s the UNITED FUCKING KINGDOM, YOU UTTER BERK. WHAT DOES IT SAY ON YOUR SHITTING PASSPORT? READ IT THERE - UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND. SHITHEAD!”
I’m sure you can all forgive Chris Tarrant his little rant there, but it was from the heart. Touching, we can all agree.
Blackburn council isn’t even controlled by the zaNu-Liar-Bore ’socialists’ anymore, they lost it to NOC in 2007. Unless Saxon considers anything to the left of the BNP as sandal-wearing pinkos…
This chap’s got a point. Traffic lights are intended to give everyone the same opportunity to cross a junction; that’s an insidiously socialist concept.
In the spirit of true free-market competition, I suggest we remove the lights altogether and let them all drive towards each other as fast as they can. It’ll certainly solve the congestion problem, eventually.
By Bakunin’s Beard, he’s on to us! Everyone knows the true aim of socialism is pointless traffic inconveniences - the most effecient way to take over the world. Frankly, I’ve had enough - I’m off to join those National Socialists with SaxonHero, I hear they make the trains run on time…
At the cost of being pelted with vegetables for introducing an element of seriousness in the discussion, I should point out that the original HYS poster does not have it *entirely* wrong.
From what little I remember of my Queue Theory exam (yes, we study this kind of crap in Computer Science courses in Italy), there are two possible approaches to traffic lighting - one is the synchronised approach, in which, if you maintain a certain speed, usually a little under the local speed limit, you’ll hit a string of green lights and basically in not-too-huge cities you can go from one side of the city to the other without stopping (well, assuming there is an avenue that crosses it completely, of course - synchronisation can only work in straight lines, so to speak). The other approach is to time red and green lights to force motorists to stop every two or three crossings; this wastes more fuel but makes it safer for pedestrians - apparently having to stop frequently makes the average motorist more careful. Well, that’s what my course material said, at any rate.
Of course the poster is also a diseased baboon’s slit and the issue has nothing to do with a council being socialist or conservative (an equal and opposite conspiracy theory could state that green/socialist councils endanger the lives of pedestrians by synchronising traffic lights to save fuel), but there is some sort of resemblance to the truth in his argument.
Sweet Jesus. Save me from these nincompoops.