This is a thread on knife crime and punishing. Punishing! Punishing! Punishing! Punishing!
Why don’t the government get an army base with some X SAS and other X army personnel and send these offenders there. It will be punishment army style. No luxuries just drilling, discipline and yes if they want to ‘bulk up’ exercise is included. Imagine the physique. The mattress for the beds must be the thinest possbile. Food must be the basics but healthy enough and their luxury will be education. Early rise in the morning till sun down. No modern facilities at all. Just hard labour.
lorenza, leeds
I’m stumped as to whether she means ‘X army’ in the X-Men, genetic mutation way or a Powerpuff Girls, Chemical X way. Whatever it is, I don’t think giving knife-carrying yobs superpowers will solve the problem.
I honestly don’t think even a pompous twerp like Jacqui Smith seriously believes this will make a blind bit of difference, but in a couple of years she’ll be out of a job so she has to be seen to do something to justify her salary and expenses. These uneducated goons who live by the cool of American rap videos really don’t give a stuff because they know they’re practically untouchable. Perhaps they’d think again with the birch across their bare backs a few times, or better still….
Nigel Clark, Lincoln, United Kingdom
A lesson to us all. Finish your post before you have your wank.
Nigel why should they get a birch across their backs, some of us pay good money for that and you propose they get it for free.
Just baffled by that “Imagine the physique”. Complete left-field, like. I reckon Nigel wasn’t the only one having a bit of a fiddle while commenting.
I think both those HYSers are cracking one off as they imagine their bits of rough getting punished. Lorenza’s practically sliding off her computer chair thinking about hot sweaty gangsters labouring hard on her on the thinnest mattress possible. Imagine the physique!
Imagine the physique??? I think Lorenza may be a wannabe Dominatrix… All those firm young male bodies being punished for being so naughty. I’m surprised she didn’t add a sigh in there…
It’s a pretty weird thing to mention but says a lot about those who seem to get off on physical punishments for crime.
Because you’re a drooling lunatic?
too much detail lorenza…
It would appear that I’m the only person in the country who hasn’t been knifecrimed yet. Is there some kind of waiting list I should have been on or is there a website where I can make an appointment?
What about my rights to a good slashing, eh? What have all the ethnikteens done for this country to grab all the headlines?
Here’s what our Joy has to say on this:
The only way to tackle this problem is to know where they are and what they are up to and the only solution is a national call-up of all kids over the age of SIXTEEN who are not in higher school education or en route to universities. The rest are lying by the wayside and we should call them up compulsorily and give them discipline and behaviour guidance courses. Otherwise we are a Nation of child killers! We must concentrate on our image elsewhere in the world as this is fast eroding. Joy
Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland
Yes, because ALL kids over 16 are knife packing sociopaths (unless they are at Uni., where presumably they are too busy getting pissed and shagging to knifecrime anyone).
Oh, and what’s all the *WE* shit? YOU live in Switzerland, you senile, piss-stained old splitarse.
Nananananananana … KnifeCrime!!!1one!
Obviously, Nigel has never seen or heard any rap. Those darkies use guns, not knives. Polish ozwodna music is the one about knife crime. Blame the Poles.
Christ. These people make Max Mosley look normal.
“just drilling”
:-/
Can someone finish this sentence? The suspense is killing me!
I think its gonna be “Perhaps they’d think again with the birch across their bare backs a few times, or better still … a smelly welly on the telly”
X = 3 ?
Hi Nelson!!!!!!
‘X’ means ex-. you just have to “read it out loud in your head”.
xxxxx (that was kisses)
Oh, this was posted by Alex! Hi Alex!
I cant believe that no-one has come up with the idea of knifecriming the knifecrimers.
Far quicker, far cheaper and far less effort than army correction or beating them with sticks.
Any baggy trousered yoof caught with a blade should just have it taken off them, given a quick stab in the guts by a copper who says, ’see how you like it’ while videoing them on a mobile phone to show all their copper mates.
Alternatively, just adopt a survival of the fittest approach and start arming anyone old enough to hold the right end of a knife. Make the whole thing legal, then the whole problem of knife’crime’ disappears overnight. Easy.
I should be home secretary. Or write a column for the Mail. Whichever pays best.
These people must be really pissed off with living in a liberal democracy. A stalinist repressive state with plenty of gulags would far more to their liking.
Hi Nora,
Thanks for clearing that up for us.
xx (that’s ex-ex-)
“These people must be really pissed off with living in a liberal democracy. A stalinist repressive state with plenty of gulags would far more to their liking.”
Burnel, they think that they *are* living in a stalinist repressive state. This is as they get fined affordable amounts for illegally parking.
Just wait until the Wasp Knife reaches the UK! The Daily Mail is already worrying in arms about it: http://www.gizmowatch.com/entry/wasp-knife-injects-compressed-gas-to-fatally-freeze-victims-organs/
The answer to Knifecrime is obvious…
Give everyone guns!
Knifecrime would vanish overnight. Admittedly, there may be a couple of teething problems with this plan, but nothing that more guns wouldn’t clear up!
Thanks for the link to the Daily Mail.
Weird that they should basically give it a full page advert then…
FEAR IT!
I wish some fucker would ‘cow-punch’ Amanda Platell.
The wasp knife article on the Mail’s site has generated some great HYS-like comments of its own.
You think those are bad? You should read the comments on the other articles.
Actually, no you probably shouldn’t. (Unless you *want* to lose the will to live).
But what if I can’t wait? I want one now, damnit! Where can I get an import?
Seriously, leaving aside the fact that it like, is used for murdering and such, it’s a dead clever piece of kit. I’d like to get one filled with helium, and stab say, (just taking an example at random here) Joy Pattinson in the lungs, to see if her death-rattle would come out in a comedy squeaky voice.
Why not just get a knife gun?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uVTPRhWdfc
I’ve seen the future - it’s knifeguncrimetime.
A gun which fires a knife which injects compressed gas into the victim.
Soon the streets will be awash with waspknifeguncrimers. HYS-ers beware!
Haha, I didn’t click on the link until after I’d posted. The knife gun is a gun that looks like a knife, I’d assumed it was a gun that fired knifes.
WTF? Where did “knifecrime” come from? It’s a bit Airstrip One innit?
Does that mean if some rippling-physiqued hoodie youth gets me down a dark alley and thumps me one in the eye I’ve been a victim of “fistcrime”…?
Or if a gang of mute pavement performance artists batter me senseless with bulging sacks of citrus fruit before making off with my expensive Rolex have I become just another sad statistic in the annals of “mimelimetimecrime”…?
(And if it happened on camera between 7 - 9pm would it be a “primetimemimelimetimecrime”…?)
I could go on, but I won’t - I think my meds are kicking in…
Yeah let’s send these kids to camps like this, it’s just the same as the people who go “send the scum to Iraq and Afghanistan and make them in to real me” - yup send them there to kill but wait aren’t they already real men cos they just stab some bloke to death?!
Still astounds me how many people seem to think that the solution is to put everyone into the army as punishment - the professional soldiers must be really chuffed to know how their chosen career is regarded by the moral majority…
You forgot to add “It’s well weapon.”
He did finish his post.
He just put a few fullstops in by mistake. What he meant to say was: