Miscellaneous Prats21 Jul 2008 09:38 am
By Alex

Have your sayers seem to be jealous of maternity leave.

Oh for heavens sake!

‘Wimmin’ are at it again. ‘We want, we want, we want……’

Children are a privilege, not a right. YOU want them, YOU bring them up. Instead YOU palm them off elsewhere & spoil them when you can be bothered to spend time with them and guess what? Society has hit the skids.

If you want kids, stay at home and raise them. If you can’t afford it, don’t have them.

I am a mum. I am self employed & work from home. I bring my son up.

Sylvia, westcliff

Wimmin = Knifecrime. You liberal do-gooders would do well to remember that.

If I were an employer I would give women the bodyswerve whenever possible. I work for the council and the women here are never off the phone about or to their kids, they take Mondays off, they need special holidays. If one of them comes back they seem to show up with their baby a week before and suddenly every women stops working for half an hour. It’s a joke.. You either have kids and stay at home looking after them making sure they don’t turn into neds or work full time all the time. Choose…
Ian, Aberdeen

If only one of these women would let you give them the ‘bodyswerve’. You’d probably hate them a little less.

Of you go again girls moan moan moan equal opportunities moan moan moan want the same as the men moan moan moan. Well listen up!

I’d love the chance to have 6 months off on full pay to be with my new born baby- and women who choose not to have kids would love this time off too i’m sure but this is not how the world works. You can’t have everything. Of course your career is delayed- if I had 6 months off away from the office mine would be too.

Get over it!
Cor Blimey Guv

Being with a baby? You know what that means, don’t you? Paedo! Paedo!

32 Responses to “Wimmin”

  1. on 21 Jul 2008 at 9:49 am Briantist

    “If I were an employer … I work for the council” says it all really, Ian. You missed that bin over there…

  2. on 21 Jul 2008 at 9:56 am DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells

    I’d love the chance to have 6 months off on full pay to be with my new born baby

    Simple solution - shove a baby up your arse, wait until about 3pm, jump up on your desk and squeeze the little bastard out whilst mumbling incoherently about how you’re sticking it to “‘elf and safety” by dumping a two month old smeared in fecal matter over a bunch of council tax returns.

    Then sit back and wait for the gold plated flying Mercedes to roll in, courtesy of the decent, honest, hardworking, law abiding majority taxpayer.

  3. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:05 am skunkpussy

    Q: How long did it take for Ian’s mum to have a shit?

    A: About 9 months.

    Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week. Try the fish, it’s lovely.

  4. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:12 am Sam

    I am a mum. I am self employed & work from home. I bring my son up.

    You’re a prostitute, aren’t you? I knew I knew that name from somewhere…

  5. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:23 am Swanno

    “Of you go again girls moan moan moan equal opportunities moan moan moan want the same as the men moan moan moan.”

    Too right, we already gave ‘em the vote didn’t we, what more do they want, guv? An equal social standing with men? Cor blimey! Stick ‘em in cages I say and rape ‘em when we want food, that’ll teach ‘em some discipline! Bloody scroungers, what’s a woman ever done for us men, eh? I mean it’s not like my mum spent wasted years of her life raising a turd like me, wiping the shit from my backside as the food she’d spoonfed me dribbled down my front.

    Wimmin! Fuck ‘em. Then lay all the blame on them when the biological consequences become apparent, and pretend it’s nothing to do with us. It’s their choice to have wombs and not cocks after all, innit? If they got a problem with it they should’ve thought about that before they chose gender at puberty, y’know, in the 11+.

  6. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:27 am alanthehat

    Sylvia noted:
    ‘If you want kids, stay at home and raise them. If you can’t afford it, don’t have them.’
    If Sylvia’s business ever goes bankrupt (which I’m sure it wouldn’t, being the creation of such a genius), I hope she does the decent thing and drowns her son in a bucket of salt water. Or herself, I’m not fussy.

  7. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:30 am Swanno

    Also…

    “I’d love the chance to have 6 months off on full pay to be with my new born baby- and women who choose not to have kids would love this time off too i’m sure but this is not how the world works.”

    Damn right that’s not how the world works, last I checked women who choose not to have kids don’t want 6 months off to spend with their new born babies…because they don’t have babies. Either this guys logic’s as flawed as his social views (and presumably skills) or the government should get to where he lives asap cos it must rape central there with all these women who chose not to have kids popping them out anyway.

  8. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:33 am emordino

    “Bodyswerve”? Someone explain that one to me.

  9. on 21 Jul 2008 at 10:54 am Nelson

    I think he saw it on American TV. He probably shouts “TIME OUT” when he wants a cup of tea as well.

  10. on 21 Jul 2008 at 11:09 am Stuart

    I know how to solve this. Let’s allow employers to discriminate against males. Oh wait Labour’s already done that.

    Aussie Pride, Cronulla, Australia

    Recommended by 152 people

    Unbelievably similar to a post from the Twat-O-Tron, either Aussie Pride is being really fucking subversive, or he’s a massive moron.
    I think I might know which…

  11. on 21 Jul 2008 at 11:43 am John

    Nah, it’s more likely that Aussie Pride being the unashamed and impressively verbose Badgers Barrel that they are, provided a large amount of the examples used by the ToT.

  12. on 21 Jul 2008 at 12:16 pm Mr Cat

    If one of them comes back they seem to show up with their baby a week before and suddenly every women stops working for half an hour. It’s a joke..

    Is it? What’s the punchline? Ian having a tantrum because of all these “slackers” and having to sit in the naughty chair for half an hour?

  13. on 21 Jul 2008 at 12:26 pm arsebanana

    making sure they don’t turn into neds

    What is a “ned”? How do you know if you’ve turned into one?

  14. on 21 Jul 2008 at 12:30 pm Kelvin

    What is a “ned”? How do you know if you’ve turned into one?

    It’s what chavs call people they think are chavs.

  15. on 21 Jul 2008 at 12:34 pm Em

    I’d love the chance to have 6 months off on full pay to be with my new born baby- and women who choose not to have kids would love this time off too i’m sure

    Funny that - quite a lot of the women I know with jobs and no babies really, really don’t want to spend 6 months being vomited on and kept awake all night. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons they’ve chosen not to have kids.

    And as for Sylvia - any idiot can get pregnant, you silly bint.

  16. on 21 Jul 2008 at 12:46 pm Em is wrong

    And as for Sylvia - any idiot can get pregnant, you silly bint.

    Having just spent over £5k on a failed cycle of IVF, I beg to differ.

  17. on 21 Jul 2008 at 1:12 pm Kelvin

    There’s your problem right there - get off the bike and try doing it in a bed the way God intended.

  18. on 21 Jul 2008 at 1:21 pm Dr Shade

    No need to waste £5K on IVF - just wear lots of eyeliner and big cheap gold jewellery and a name-label tracksuit, get mashed off your tits on a couple of bottles of Thunderbird and shag some bloke behind the bus stop on the high street on a Friday night.

    Never fails - you’ll be up the duff and rolling in benefits in no time at all! (Well, probably 9 months, which isn’t really “no time at all” is it?)

  19. on 21 Jul 2008 at 1:37 pm 773 (metric)

    any idiot can get pregnant

    a failed cycle of IVF

    Proof then, if there is something positive to take from your unhappy situation, that you are NOT an idiot.

  20. on 21 Jul 2008 at 2:00 pm Dr Shade

    It’s not true that “any idiot can get pregnant” - Ian from Aberdeen is obviously a complete fucking idiot and I bet he’ll never get pregnant no matter how many bell ends impregnate him…

  21. on 21 Jul 2008 at 2:24 pm Em

    And to think I edited out the mention of IVF ::shakes head at self:: Perhaps I should’ve gone for ‘many idiots have…’

    Point being, this:

    Children are a privilege, not a right.

    is bollocks.

    While a few people who genuinely want children unfortunately have to resort to medical assistence, for the majority of us, kids just happen.

    And as for:

    If you can’t afford it, don’t have them.

    Very few people who’ve had to fork out for IVF can afford to quit work, and no-one who can’t afford a child can afford the private abortion they’d need to get rid of an accidental pregancy (given that NHS waiting lists are long enough to see you in labour before your shceduled termination date).

    And for the person out there whose only identity is my incorrectness - http://www.barnardos.org.uk/fosteringandadoption/adoption.htm?gclid=CPKgsLWJ0ZQCFROI1Qod4hvskQ
    adoption is cheaper, and you get Karmic brownie points as well :-D

  22. on 21 Jul 2008 at 3:27 pm Don_Durito

    Well said on the adoption front, Em. I’ve often thought that there are kids out there who need the love of the people with love to give who can’t have kids in the first place to give love to. I think.

    But then I’ve also just remembered that on the other hand, anyone who wants to have a relationship with a child should be EXTERMINATED. So maybe it’s not so clear cut after all.

  23. on 21 Jul 2008 at 3:42 pm Kelvin

    If I were an employer I would give women the bodyswerve whenever possible.

    Have you considered that you’d only be capable of being an employer if you weren’t such a misogynistic amoebawit?

  24. on 21 Jul 2008 at 3:53 pm 773 (metric)

    Problem with adopting kids, for me anyway, is that I’m very handsome and very clever. Imagine how distraught I’d be if it turned out that a child I adopted had dropped out of Lorna Pope, for instance.

  25. on 21 Jul 2008 at 3:55 pm Em has redeemed self

    Em - thanks.

  26. on 21 Jul 2008 at 3:56 pm 773 (metric)

    Or worse, everyone’s favourite émigré Joy Pattinson.

  27. on 21 Jul 2008 at 4:32 pm Oh joy!

    Talking of Joy Pattinson, here’s what the crazy old beanflicker has to say on the topic “Does lack of ‘free’ play disadvantage children?”:

    The problem is that children get far too much free play! That’s why they can and do carry knives that harm and kill. If they were supervised more this would not happen. When I was a child what did I play? Hopscotch; I skipped; played with and dressed my dolls and brushed my cousins hair whilst she brushed mine - during which my brother took delight in killing ants by bouncing a tennis ball on them! Nasty little number already and only 6! I got on in life. He was redundant at 38…

    Joy Pattinson, ROLLE, Switzerland

  28. on 21 Jul 2008 at 5:36 pm Alex

    Either Joy hasn’t understood that it’s kids over six that tend to carry knives, or she was playing with dollies right up to the legal age of majority.

    Of course, it’s probably both. And right up to yesterday afternoon.

  29. on 21 Jul 2008 at 6:09 pm Office_Tramp

    I love the way the male posters seem to think that maternity leave is a 6 month holiday rather than six months of shitty nappies, sick, colic and hiding in shopping centre toilets to breast feed for fear of offending a Daily Mail reader/HYSer. After which you have to go back to work and continue to pay income tax and all that. It’s either that or we just all stop having babies, or don’t work and live of the state. WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM US!?!

  30. on 21 Jul 2008 at 6:53 pm Dr Shade

    But Office_Tramp - some people would think that shitting their pants, copious vomitting and sucking on some bird’s tits in a toilet was a GREAT holiday!

    Why else do you think they traipse out to Ibiza every year…?

  31. on 22 Jul 2008 at 2:04 am R Jimlad

    Jesus christ… “Children are not a right, they’re a privelidge”

    Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights would disagree with this fascist bitch.

    As is the case with 95% of HYS, if it weren’t so funny it’d be depressing to the point of suicide that these carpet-chewing pipecocks are either ignorant of the hard-won rights of modern humanity, or hell-bent on eroding them, or both.

  32. on 22 Jul 2008 at 9:32 am Steve

    Jimlad, you are forgetting that most HYSers think that the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is a work of Evil, giving all “them muslim teroroists teh right to kills us”

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