The BBC asks, “Should we waste less food?” Now I would have said “Well, of course, what a stupid question”. But it looks like most of HYS are jamming their pie and mash down the sink tonight in protest against the nanny state.
I pay for my own food and if I want to waste it it has nothing to do with Gordon Brown.
robert ronson
I heard Gordon also advised us all, in line with E.U. directives and with the approval of the Muslim Council of Great Britain, not to jump under buses. Off you go then.
Conservatively there are 30m households in the UK. This multiplied by £400 = £12,000,000,000
Tesco takes roughly 30% of food sales in the UK. 30% of the above is £3,600,000,000 i.e. what Tesco stand to lose if every household eliminated all waste.
This level borders on impossible but even 50% which is perhaps believable equates to £1,800,000,000 less profit to Tesco each year.
Now what do you think Tesco might do when it’s revenues suddenly drop in this way… put prices up perhaps??
Simon Pittock, Ely, United Kingdom
Yeah, but you’d save a bit on bin-bags.
32 Responses to “It’s Tesco’s I Feel Sorry For”
The BBC should have presented the question as ‘Should Our Human Right To Waste Food Be Protected?’, so that Robert Ronson’s pea-sized brain might have exploded. Every little helps.
Robert Ronson is right, sadly. Why in the name of giddy fuck should a government be hectoring the populace on what it does or doesn’t do with it’s food waste?
There may well be an issue about how much food that gets wasted. But, GB “getting tough” and lecturing the great unwashed what to do is the limpest of limp dick responses.
How much food to immigrants waste?
“Conservatively there are 30m households in the UK”
Obviously the Labour households aren’t even earning enough to eat!
Probably because every time they try to strike for a half-decent pay rise in line with inflation a rabid pack of HYSers accuse them of being a bunch of workshy, money-grabbing, greedy Marxist anarcho-terrorists who should be bloody grateful for the weevil riddled bread and rancid pond water they’re expected to live on.
Or is that just me?
I mean how much do they waste.
Good point, Mike. Let’s apply science.
Now, your average immigrant is pretty scrawny (the fat ones can’t hide in the bathroom furniture lorries so easily so they get found at the border) so let’s say they eat half as much food as a proper person. Given that Tesco are so committed to giving us good value food that they make sure the smallest portion of anything is enough for 4 proper people, that means immigrants are wasting 7/8 of all the food Tesco sells.
Of course, they also bring their huge families over here to help them sponge off the state, so in that case you could have a family of 8 wasting 56/64 of all the food Tesco sells, and us hard-working white males picking up the bill for them! YOU LITERALLY COULD NOT MAKE IT UP.
> Now what do you think Tesco might do when it’s revenues suddenly drop in this way… put prices up perhaps??
Um, probably not, as their costs would be lower as well (because they’ve had less food to buy and truck around). So their profits would be similar.
Maybe next time, finish the Ladybird “My First Business Studies Book” before commenting?
Also: “its revenues”, not “it’s revenues”.
Given that pedarists like to lure children with sweets (or puppies or just by being in the same household). What will happen to the profits of Tesco by locking up PAeDos who purchase sweets from Tesco. The thought of Tesco not making enough money horrifes me, what next Walmart equal TO the CO-OP OPEN Ur EYES POEPEL.
forgot the !!!!!111l, please forgive me
I actually clicked that link to the BBC most recommended page. It’s awful. Hopefully it’s just the frothing-at-the-mouth idiots who believe in a human right to waste shitloads of food (thanks Mooska) who felt the need to hit the recommend button a hundred times on every different post that says “OMG PM iz such a hypocrites!!!1!1″, while normal sensible people just thought the obvious answer was a simple “yes”.
Read enough and you start believing that our 650 MPs actually waste more food than the whole of Britain put together.
I always buy twice as much as I need and throw half of it out, otherwise Tesco might double their prices.
Similarly in How should drinking be curtailed?:
From what I’ve seen, the govt would do far better just to say “Go on, drink yourself into an early grave, see if we care”, and fully expect people to do the complete opposite.
As a payer of coucil tax I throw mine in the street for the council to clear up.
End of!
Kwality
Isn’t that what BOGOF is supposed to be for? One for you and one for the bin? If people didn’t throw half of their food away, they’d be forced to stop giving half of it away free. Then where would we be?
Ah yes, the ‘I’m using numbers so I can’t possibly be talking bollocks’ gambit. A very strong line in a HYS game. Possibly second only to the ‘but what about the muslims’ defence.
For some reason the character from The Fast Show springs to mind.
Tesco’s eh? ‘Arrrdest game in the world that is. I worked for Tesco’s man and boy……
@Tom – imagine instead that Gordon Broon said the following:
“The credit crunch is biting everyone on the arse. Petrol prices are high, food prices are high, rent is high, no one can sell a house even if they include a free sex slave, and wages aren’t great. Oooh, and according to all the Tories, we’re running out of land. So it might be a good idea for everyone to stop buying shitloads of food and only get what they need. But if you end up covered in mouldy carrots and putrid beef while rats come and eat your cock off and dogs shit on your head because you produced too much waste and the bank repossesses all your stuff because of all the debt, don’t blame us, fuckface.”
@Sam
I would have laughed, but still told him to stop being such an expedient and reactionary prick.
It was also the ham fisted way GB cobbled together a whole load of issues and managed to come up with “stop throwing away so much food” as a response. I half expected him to follow this by saying “and we will fly it all to Africa”.
Tom, you just prompted a childhood memory there!
My mother used to tell me to eat my food up as there were starving children in India.
One I said, ‘I don’t want it’ and she got a Jiffy bag and threw it in and wrote on it “Poor Children, c/o India”.
Perhaps Mr Brown is thinking of similar ? If we did this we may not need to send money!!!
(I wonder how many regular HYS twonks read this and think “DAMN FINE IDEA”.)
Scary.
Some butt-wit wrote a letter to (I think) the Guardian, saying:
Ha! He’s got you there, Brown! I hope you’re not a computer, because that’s a water tight paradox!
@ Tom – Along the same lines as “If you buy a video from Mr. Smith at the market, terrorists will cut your kids’ feet off!”
or
“If you wash your turkey this Christmas, e-coli will turn your kids dead!”
Perhaps what Gordon can do is have a daytime TV show: “Gordon’s Happy Households”, where in each episode he shows us a new way to better use the things we have, and save money to boot!
http://www.angryflower.com/bag.html
I hate Robert Ronson.
Rob Ronson’s problem is revealed after a bit of HYS-diving:
TV chefs are responsible for the ridiculous dishes that my wife attempts to cook. God knows how much food I’ve had to bin due to these overpaid egomaniacs.
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/goToMessage.jspa?messageID=4353465&edition=1&ttl=20080722174757
“Honestly, there wasn’t a sausage or a pie in any of them!”
Yes, its all Delia Smith’s fault.
Now, I’m sure thats familiar from somewhere..
Or you could just not be a badger’s flange and put it in the fridge for tomorrow?
Honestly, whatever happened to putting your leftovers in a tupperware box and saving it for later? Wasteful buggers!
“It’s Tesco’s I Feel Sorry For”
Tesco’s what?
Man alive! Who’d have thought that a simple search for my name on Google (to check for privacy breaches and not for any narcissistic purpose I might add!) would reveal this page, this wealth of nonsense.
Whilst my calculations were possibly vaguely accurate as I happened to know those base figures off of the top of my head, the comment was intended as flagrantly overblown mockery. My intent was to ape the utter ridiculousness of the majority of comments and posters on that Have Your Say “debate” and was not intended with even a smidgen of seriousness! Obviously it went a little over some people’s heads there huh!
As for the single misplaced apostrophe, which was entirely to do with my being half asleep when I wrote the comment… perhaps there are more interesting things to worry about in life!
Well done Simon Pittock. You aped them so well you ended up in the ape enclosure. Maybe that will teach you the dangers of aping.
@Rebel: I’m from India. My mum used to tell me about sending the food I wasted to Somalia.
Now if only our parents would stop sending food around the world, we could get about to saving the environment.
But oh no wait, we’re doing that already. That’s an EU-directed muslim conspiracy to deprive HYSers of their right to…
… er, sorry, I’m not very good at directionless rants! I need to read HYS and the Daily Mail more often.