Thanks to Jez for this one from a thread about the “special” relationship.
The UK will need the US again when multicultural Europe fragments, becoming balkanized in the same way that Yugoslavia fragmented, and for similar reasons. We are facing a clash of ideologies in Europe (multiculturalism v the ideology of Islam), which many people believe will end in civil war, just as it did in British India and many other such places when people tried to mix the belief systems in a multicultural utopia. When will people learn the lessons of history?
English Citizen
It might be more pertinent for you to ask “Why don’t I know anything about history?”. And the answer is that your knowledge of the world is gained by staring, open-mouthed, at a 3-word headline (preferably alliterating) followed shortly by a calming picture of some tits.
28 Responses to “History Lesson”
The worrying thing is that pile of garbage has been recommended 150 times!!!
By the way ? THREE WORD HEADLINE ??
Bloody hell, the Sun’s been to University!
I thought The Sun had started putting political messages in with the tits these days.
funny, and I thought that the civil war in India was caused because the local population, having given us democracy, medicine, and a large portion of our society structure, got fed up of being told that they were too stupid to exist without our help…
I saw a 2 word headline accompanied by a photo on the front page of the mirror last week that summed up the whole story. There was no need at all for any further text. It was somehow perfect (and ruined by the fact that it subsequently got a whole page to itself in the paper).
It was a photo of Cristiano Ronaldo on a lounger looking very brown. With the headline “Tan United”
If only our tabloids could sum up everything banal in the world with such headlines they could devote more editorial space to serious stuff like the Badger invasion.
Ah yes - our treasured “special relationship”
The one where Truman shit-stirred Europe into a war (he told Hitler he wouldn’t interfere if the knob invaded other countries - he promised Churchill he’d back him to the hilt if Hitler did) so the US could make a fortune selling arms and stave off an imminent recession, then used the opportunity to butt-fuck us into so much debt we’d still be paying it off half a century later - not to mention the incident where a US warship sailed into a South African port, broke into a bank and loaded all the British gold into its hold as “payment” for our war debt…
It’s all in a book called “Friendly Fire” - if the rabid arse-kissing Yankophiles like English Citizen can take the time to learn to read.
Sod it. I’m starting to sound like a HYSer, aren’t I?
Erm - quick! Resort to some abuse to save the situation!
Um.
Fuck off English Citizen you badger’s arse-flap!
Whew! That was close…
So Truman (who was president after the war) organised this with Churchill (before Churchill was in power).
You are sounding very HYS.
Truman didn’t become president until 1945. The war started in 1939.
Of course. Hitler wouldn’t have invaded anywhere if it weren’t for those bastard Americans. He was a peaceful man but Truman’s promises were too tempting to resist.
Churchill didn’t become Prime minister until 1940. The war started in 1939.
Since the authors also wrote such deathless tomes as “The Stargate Conspiracy” maybe there are other reasons we can’t be arsed to read this one.
More than “starting”.
/edit. DC beat me to the punch. That’ll teach me to be so fucking verbose.
Truman didn’t become president until 1945. The war started in 1939.
Of course. Hitler wouldn’t have invaded anywhere if it weren’t for those bastard Americans. He was a peaceful man but Truman’s promises were too tempting to resist.
Churchill didn’t become Prime minister until 1940. The war started in 1939.
Since the authors also wrote such deathless tomes as “The Stargate Conspiracy” maybe there are other reasons we can’t be arsed to read this one.
More than “starting”.
Special relationship!?!!
Yea, the one where the Colonel collaborated secretly with Gandhi to ensure that delicious chicken would be available throughout Europe, and to bankrupt our great Empire so that the Indians could finally get their independence and we’d all have to bow down to the EU-PC Brigade and their outrageous ideas about ‘yuman rites’.
You couldn’t make it up!
I think English Citizen heard about historical revisionism and thought it meant that you could simply rearrange unrelated historical facts to produce a completely new event.
The problem is of course that he has also made up the facts.
I’m amazed he didnt bring in something about the Kennedy assassination or Diana.
Nelson, of all your responses to these comments by various shitwits across the interweb that I’ve read, that’s quite possibly my favourite ever. You made coffee come out of my nose. I’m stealing it.
Gah! Sorry DC - meant to type “Roosevelt” and it came out “Truman” - I’m afraid the HYS red mist descended before my eyes!
Still recommend “Friendly Fire” as an interesting read on the real nature of our “special relationship” with the US though.
BTW - I love the way English Citizen mentions Yugoslavia “balkanising” into several countries as a bad thing - completely ignoring the fact that Yugoslavia was artificially cobbled together from those countries in the first place as a result of the “Great Powers” carving up Europe after WW1.
“When WILL people learn the lessons of history”???
Thanks for the link Tim, those ‘authors’ look like they’ve got academic credibility oozing from every orifice.
I think this is the best bit of one-eyed-bollocks that I have ever read on SYB. It’s like some piece of flawless art. No matter which way I turn it, it retains its perfection. And yet, like great art, it opens me with beauty and then smashes right through all my core-belief systems and leaves me alone and shitting myself, whimpering with fear about the true nature of humanity.
Where’s the whisky?
you couldn’t make it up.
actually you can.
besides i heard it was all down to the CIA.
“The Stargate Conspiracy” synopsis on Amazon
Sorry Dr Shade - or whatever your real name is (David Icke?) - but you are quite insane.
“Sorry Dr Shade - or whatever your real name is (David Icke?) - but you are quite insane.”
Course I am - I read HYS don’t I?
And I still say the authors made some good points in “Friendly Fire” - the only thing they missed out was that Roosevelt (& Truman - but funnily enough not Nixon who was definitely his own man!) were actually merely the puppets of a global conspiracy controlled by the Illuminati, who (as we all know) are actually run by the Boy Scouts Association of North America - but the Boy Scouts are actually themselves only puppets of the “true” rulers of the Earth…
Yes. You know who I mean…
It’s the bloody badgers!!!!!!
Yes, I’m afraid World War 2 was actually all down to a mustelidae plot to fuck up our traffic lights - yu just ask Katie True if you don’t believe me!
You made coffee come out of my nose. I’m stealing it.
I think once it’s come out your nose no ones that bothered about if you steal it or not
If Badgers rule the world in secret, yeah, how come you know? Why haven’t Badgers got to you and taken you off in their Badger-ships put electrodes in your brain and made you a badger-clone-borg-spy…. Or…. maybe they already have?
Never trust Badgers, they’re capable of ANYTHING… excuse me, the front door bell just rang…
*KZKZKZZZZZZZZYZYZYZZZZZZZZZZXXXXXXX*
Badgers mean us no harm.
“I think once it’s come out your nose no ones that bothered about if you steal it or not”
You just made coffee come out of my arse I’m stealing it, any objections?
I’m not going to ask what it was doing up there in the first place…
Well, if you’re giving me multiple-choice, I’m going for ‘not’ for $500, please Bob
What the hell are you all talking about?
The Badgers stealing our coffe then selling it to immigrants so they can steal all our jobs. Do keep up Joe…
Had you been drinking coffee? If not, I sense a nice little money-spinner here. We could set up a cafe some place, or maybe even drive around the country visiting provincial market squares, festivals and sports events.
Was it just little squirt, or is it still gushing forth? Would be useful to have an idea of quantity so that I can write a more accurate business plan.
Dunno about you guys, but I’ve got this down for Thursday 3pm, after ‘Marketing meeting with Tom’.
I’m glad multiculturalism isn’t working. I’ve been posting my cat’s turds through my Muslim neighbour’s letterbox for years. I’d hate to think all that effort was wasted.
http://controversy.wearscience.com/design/ufo/
I’m buying one for my other half
I learned the lessons of history back in 1981 and have a Grade 2 CSE to prove it.
I for one welcome our new badgery overlords.